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Relationship fucked - Advice is needed

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by PMOkiller, Oct 28, 2019.

  1. PMOkiller

    PMOkiller New Fapstronaut

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    Hello guy's i'm Chris (25m).
    I hope this community can help me! I fight since 4 months but i keep relapsing. But first, i'm gonna tell my story.
    English is not my mother language so i hope you get everything ;).

    Why NoFap?
    So as mentioned in the capital, i had a relationship since i was 18 (7 years). And looking back there was nothing missing. Now the break up is 5 months ago and i still fucking miss her. I don't think my porn addiction was the only reason for the break up, but it was a major point. We started to study in different towns, that obviously made it difficult. I dealed with it by using more and more porn. Back then i wasn´t realy aware of how bad it affected our relationship.
    I started to notice that I was less and less attracted to her. A problem I didn't had in the past.
    And the day before we brook up we had sex and I don't want to brag or anything, but it was amazing, and I couldn't imagine it any better. We even came at the same time. But the wired thing is that i felt nothing after it. No satisfaction. She was happy and wanted to cuddle but i felt pissed of and i didn´t know why. It was not the first time i felt that way. The next day i told her about this feeling again (I already told here before that i have a wierd feeling sometimes) and we decided to brake up. I thought there is sth wrong with her and my unconcious mind is telling me something. Now i now there is sth wrong with me.

    My exgirfriend never used porn. And when she was masturbating she thought of me (at least she told me so..). This how i want to be in my next relationship

    First use?
    I think I was 13, maybe 14.... So yeah, I've been involved in this shit for 11-12 years.

    First shots!
    4 Months ago i strated to do easy mode. It did like 60 days without porn and i rarely mastrubated. I was pretty proud about it at the time and noticed some benfits. But then i started to have only one look... Since that i keep relapsing.
    I try to do my cold showers, meditation, work outs and to journal writing. It helps sometimes.
    The hardest part for me is that when im into it 2-3 days hard mode, the urges remember me of my girlfriend, i have a lot of sexual fantasies and my focus is laking. But the worst part is the feeling of loneliness. I realy can not deal with it because i never felt this way in the past. Fapping makes it better, at least for a short time. Then after 3-4 hours the urges are back again..
    Meditation makes it better too, but only during the session. After it the feeling is back.
    Has somebody any advice here?
    I think i just have to get through it right? And it will get better with the time.
    So I need discipline.
    Today is my day 0!

    Goal:
    NoFap November on hard mode!

    If you are still reading this thank you for staying with me! I really appreciate it :)

    I am grateful for any advice or motivation.

    We're gonna get this, guys.

    br,

    Chris
     
  2. Hello and welcome! :)

    We are glad to have you as a part of our community. Here are some quick links to get you started.

    Getting Started Guide | How to Use the NoFap Forums | Panic Button | Day Counter | Rebooting Resources | Forum Rules | Glossary

    If you wish to keep a journal of your progress you can do so in the appropriate section found here

    You can also take part in one of the many challenges available. It can be a tremendous help. Challenges

    Also, there are groups you can also join if you wish to do so. You can browse through them here. Groups

    There are plenty of wonderful, friendly and knowledgeable people here to help you along on your journey to a life free of PMO. I wish you nothing but the best!
     
    bo_drag and Deleted Account like this.
  3. PMOkiller

    PMOkiller New Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for the reply.
    I think that anger came from the fact that I didn't feel satisfied anymore. This made me pissed. I felt like I was suffering from my sexuality and it could not be pleased.
     

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