Relationship Help!???

  • Thread starter Thread starter Deleted Account
  • Start date Start date
D

Deleted Account

Guest
So I did nofap pretty well but not consistent from Oct-Dec & I was talking to a girl nothing serious & nothing sexual Then I did Complete nofap all January & she eventually became my gf....

but I realized she’s been in several toxic relationships that she’s been revealing lately & it’s a not attractable and cringe at most. I can mention them if it would help you lead me in the right direction.

but come to find out she needs 2 surgeries for her ciliac & kidney... now I would’ve been bailed... but unfortunately I’m considered her BF and for me to bail during her procedures & times of such would make me feel like an a-hole. The good thing is she’s not sexually available because of her procedures so , I’ve started complete nofap & I don’t mind her company.

I obviously want to bail but considering her situation I feel that I can’t at this moment... Any Advice would be gladly appreciated
 
bradmax said:
So I did nofap pretty well but not consistent from Oct-Dec & I was talking to a girl nothing serious & nothing sexual Then I did Complete nofap all January & she eventually became my gf....

but I realized she’s been in several toxic relationships that she’s been revealing lately & it’s a not attractable and cringe at most. I can mention them if it would help you lead me in the right direction.

but come to find out she needs 2 surgeries for her ciliac & kidney... now I would’ve been bailed... but unfortunately I’m considered her BF and for me to bail during her procedures & times of such would make me feel like an a-hole. The good thing is she’s not sexually available because of her procedures so , I’ve started complete nofap & I don’t mind her company.

I obviously want to bail but considering her situation I feel that I can’t at this moment... Any Advice would be gladly appreciated
Click to expand...

I don't know the details of your partners past relationships but almost everyone has some kind of baggage. I would argue that being a porn addict is pretty hefty baggage when it comes to entering a relationship. You can be the person who breaks the cycle and provides her with a relationship that isn't toxic.

In terms of her surgeries, imagine if it was reversed and you were the one needing surgery. Would you expect her to bail on you?

I know that this relationship is fairly new but if those issues are that important to you then it's not fair on your partner for you to lead her on.
 
JamesTheSquirrel said:
I don't know the details of your partners past relationships but almost everyone has some kind of baggage. I would argue that being a porn addict is pretty hefty baggage when it comes to entering a relationship. You can be the person who breaks the cycle and provides her with a relationship that isn't toxic.

In terms of her surgeries, imagine if it was reversed and you were the one needing surgery. Would you expect her to bail on you?

I know that this relationship is fairly new but if those issues are that important to you then it's not fair on your partner for you to lead her on.
Click to expand...

wow that was very good! I greatly appreciate it! I’ll definitely take this into consideration
 
Do what you think is right for yourself, don't care too much about 'what people will think'. If you don't consider her as a girlfriend/wife leave this relationship, regarding situation she is currently in, do it as much polite as you can, maybe you can stay friends.
If she was a problem or a person choosing toxic relationships in purpose, you won't 'break anything' and be her 'savior', you will only loose time (at least) or harm your life.
If she doesn't change, her situation won't change.

Ofc it depends also if you are at the same level (you were also in several toxic relationships and so on), then you may consider staying with her for some time at least and see where it is going.
 
Metis07 said:
Also if girl is telling you about her previous boyfriends by herself (you haven't asked) it's not a good sign at all.
Click to expand...

Exactly I don’t want to waste my time, she was in multiple toxic relationships and she was a cheater too but she seems very upfront and honest but sometimes it feels too easy like she told me I can go through her phone anytime, I’m not the jealous type and I don’t want to be a creep but I thought it was weird she would tell me that a month in. I don’t know if being easy and open is a good thing? To allow myself to trust her completely based on things like that, it makes me wonder. She is also older than I am so maybe she really wants something serious and doesn’t play games which is good cause I don’t play games either. I treat her respectfully and do my best to communicate with her but I guess only time will tell yet I don’t want to feel like I am wasting it especially when I’m here on nofap trying to heal and in turn I don’t want to Easter her time either. After being with her I did pmo a few times only because she wasn’t in town and I’ve been conscious about it as to why and how not to do it again but seeing her three months now my urges of pmo have diminished to nearly 0 urges. So I’m feeling better and thinking clearer and it just makes me wonder as to what or how she feels but it can also be my insecurities because of pmo. All I know is I’m doing my best in being there for her and treating her right with communication and time and my intentions, knowing hers though I guess time will tell, hoping the time is worth it of course
 
It depends on you really, what are your standards for girlfriend or even wife (who you will consider), so I can't tell you what to do exactly in this relationship.
And treating person right is a right thing to do, but also pay much attention if you are being treated right and respond equally.
 
bradmax said:
being easy and open is a good thing?
Click to expand...
I think in general being easy and open is a good thing, but not in topics like this, if smb has cheated (for example) it is one thing, but if he has cheated and telling this openly (when even haven't been asked) not being ashamed of it is much worse (he/she considers it normal).
 
She considers it normal because guys have always cheated on her for the most part of her relationship. I’ve asked and she’s asked me, I’ve never cheated and I’ve only been in one committed relationship that was 4 years. So this is all new to me when we talk about things like that. I appreciate your messages
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top