Discussion in 'Off-topic Discussion' started by Justinix, May 30, 2019.

  1. Justinix

    Justinix New Fapstronaut

    Does religion help or not with reboot? For me, it gave a hope, I became very spiritual during my journey. But now, as I relapsed few times, I feel that I betrayed not only myself but God too and I am afraid to ask for forgiveness again. Relapses now stress me more than before.
  2. trob45

    trob45 Fapstronaut

    Hey man. I totally get that. This can go as deep as you want, but short story, God isn’t shocked and you are loved. You are loved the same whether or not you beat off to porn or worked a soup kitchen. Find grace and mercy for today and continue the race. You’re not alone.
  3. ultrafabber

    ultrafabber Fapstronaut

    Yes, it helps. You should never be afraid to ask for forgiveness.
  4. RisingTrojen

    RisingTrojen Fapstronaut

    hey @Justinix !!
    I had this same doubt once and posted it in a group.This was the one comment which made me think.
    If any of us has the secret sauce or whatever to never fail, we wouldn't be here. Even if you have to reset every day, make it 25 or 26 hours and resolve to do better. You'll make it overnight soon enough and then you can start fighting for whole weeks and beyond.
    God is there always when you need to find him,train your body to make the one where he wish to reside.Even if the you relapse.Update the counter and try again.Just extend the time to 6,12,24 hrs or more each time.If you have any problem or urges we are here for you.Try to answer some of new fapstronauts,watch motivational video.

    WATCH THIS :The Great Porn Experiment
    MONSTER MONK likes this.
  5. Freedom_from_PMO

    Freedom_from_PMO Fapstronaut

    Don't be afraid, God is merciful.

    Religion and religious practice can help a lot.
  6. PMS

    PMS Fapstronaut

    I wouldn't sweat it. If god is real I don't think he cares one bit if you wank or not. And how do you know what god considers to be good and bad? Maybe he only made the earth and humans so that there was a world where he could keep his porncollection.
  7. Super Mike James

    Super Mike James Fapstronaut

    if you are saved then you have the grace of God. God will surly finish the work he bagan in you. Have no fear.
    Bombadil and Freedom_from_PMO like this.
  8. Awedouble

    Awedouble Fapstronaut

    I think the question is not about religion but how each person thinks about their religion. One person may focus on forgiveness and grace, and another person in the very same religion will focus on guilt. The difference is in the person and their state of mind.

    To a certain extent it is self inflicted, but also keep in mind some people will try to motivate you with guilt, even innocently - because maybe that's the way it has always been pushed on them from their parents and peers. They think it's good for you, but really they are not thinking very much at all - they just take it as a given that's the way it is, and it's the "truth." I would suggest you keep your distance from that kind of negative influence as much as you can.
    need4realchg likes this.
  9. Nine

    Nine Fapstronaut

    This is somewhat off topic and less to do with the religion side of things - but regarding your shame when you relapse. I personally think that's a very unhealthy mentality that will only encourage more relapses. I actually think it's like the #1 or #2 thing that keeps addicts relapsing, the shame about their addiction.

    Back to the topic of religion, you don't say which religion you belong to - but assuming Christianity, or in fact this goes for most other religions too. God is seen as merciful, and offers forgiveness. I think if you truly trust in God, then you should forgive yourself, and focus on the work you have ahead of you, rather than on the mistakes of the past. :)

    It also helps to not just think in terms of your day count. Before you discovered NoFap, you were probably always on day 0. If you relapsed today, and you're back on day 0, is all lost? Of course not. You can't honestly think you're in just as bad a situation as when you were PMOing daily can you? Surely you can see you've made huge progress already even just by deciding to get control over your habit? You don't suddenly lose 100% of your progress when you relapse - it's a major setback, sure, but as long as you pick yourself up off the floor and move forward, you'll be back to where you were very quickly.

    On the other hand, if you let yourself feel guilty and ashamed and like you've failed - then what do you end up doing? Binging and making it worse. A binge after a relapse definitely can get rid of most of your progress, so should be avoided.

    If you slip up, ask yourself why. Try and figure out what triggered it, and see it as a lesson to be learned rather than beating yourself up, and then get up and move forward rather than allowing that slip up to turn into a full blown binge.
    FX-05, andi1987 and drac16 like this.
  10. Justinix

    Justinix New Fapstronaut

    Thanks, your words really helped
  11. Rairah90

    Rairah90 Fapstronaut

    Religion has been my ultimate motivation, I thank my Lord for guiding me, for this streak is the longest I have I ever heard
    Freedom_from_PMO likes this.
  12. onceaking

    onceaking Fapstronaut

    It can help you and it can not help. It really depends on what God or gods you believe. Certain theological beliefs can cause harm.

    In this video, Dr Ted Roberts explains how the evangelical church causes sex addictions to get worse:
    Bombadil, FX-05 and need4realchg like this.
  13. EthanW.

    EthanW. Fapstronaut

    Religion helps. I might not have gotten has far without the theological input of my new faith. You have to understand, though, that salvation comes against all sinful odds. It is a dedication that you can renew daily, but that Christ purchased for all time at the cross. Then, you decide to be born again, to change your mind regarding all of the degenerate aspects of your life; you live a new life in Christ, and in the instruction of the Gospel and the New Covenant.

    You might very well relapse again, but your prayer and repentance will account for it. And if you are genuine in your faith, and honest in your desires to overcome, then you will be graced with the will and the motivation to beat back the urges you have. I went through all of this just recently. It gets easier to recognize the correct actions to take, and eventually it is easier to turn away from most of the old habits, too. For the difficult moments, you pray and speak affirmations of Christ's words over your life. You never let go of what you have found.

    "I am the true grapevine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch of mine that doesn’t produce fruit, and he prunes the branches that do bear fruit so they will produce even more. You have already been pruned and purified by the message I have given you. Remain in me, and I will remain in you. For a branch cannot produce fruit if it is severed from the vine, and you cannot be fruitful unless you remain in me." (John 15:1-4)
    Super Mike James likes this.
  14. need4realchg

    need4realchg Fapstronaut

    Wow. Amazingly profound and a ton of information in just 3 short minutes.
    onceaking likes this.
  15. Yeah, that was incredible... Took me back a step from what I'm feeling currently, which is that I'm in danger of relapse, and reminded me of the bigger picture- that the unstable environment I was brought up in led me to self-medicate with many things, pornography being one of them.
    onceaking and need4realchg like this.
  16. onceaking

    onceaking Fapstronaut

    Yeah, it's good. Just wish I knew about it sooner. For years the church has told people they are sinners and should stop sinning without telling them how they can change.
    need4realchg likes this.
  17. need4realchg

    need4realchg Fapstronaut

    Man , I don’t know if I have ever seen something so transformative in 3 minutes. I really mean it. I showed that to my wife who (of course) was skeptic , but when I rephrased it she agreed there was a lot there that hits home.

    I could write a lot on that; but wow. Just freaking amazing. I want to hear more on the dissociative disorder. That makes PERFECT sense to me. rules without relationship =rebel.

    And yeah, telling ppl to change over and over again expecting different results ... insane?
    Deleted Account likes this.

    EXPONENTIALLY Fapstronaut

    Only God's GRACE helps, but not really religions.
  19. Bombadil

    Bombadil Fapstronaut

    I like to think about it like this: When I was teaching my son to walk, did I get angry at him for falling over? Of course not, I gave him a hug and we tried again. The older I get the more sure I am that God likes to constantly push us to do better, but that it's for our benefit not his.
    Deleted Account and need4realchg like this.
  20. need4realchg

    need4realchg Fapstronaut

    Beautifully said.

    The challenge with superimposing our earthly experiences with God is that they do not blend .... oil and water in many cases.

    Earthly parents are frail and make plenty of errors when we are learning to walk in school, walk in church, walk in our relationships. It’s much more difficult to unpack.
    Bombadil likes this.

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