Religious girlfriend wouldn't have sex :(

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by dragonslayer, Aug 24, 2017.

  1. dragonslayer

    dragonslayer Fapstronaut

    I'm kind of confused about what to do. I started this relation thinking that I would be intimate with her. I also like her a lot and we have fun together hanging out.

    We kiss a lot in bed and cuddle and caress. I get hard and she also likes to hug and be close to me. But she does not want to go any further than that. We have not seen each other naked yet.

    I want sex. I mean we are 25 years old. How long to wait. I also don't know how to end things or whether to end or not.

    BTW.. She is a devout Catholic Christian and I'm a aethist Hindu guy.
    Noelle likes this.
  2. sparkywantsnoPMO

    sparkywantsnoPMO NoFap Moderator & Yeoman
    Staff Member

    As a devout Catholic, she’s likely not going to budge. And you’re not going to get alternate activities either. Catholic doctrine is very clear. Marriage is the only route. If you’re just looking for women to sleep with, this is not going to be a good match.

    I’m Catholic, so I can understand where she’s coming from.
    Eleanor, nelloJ, I will win and 8 others like this.
  3. JakeWoods

    JakeWoods Fapstronaut

    Depends how you feel about this girl? If you're certain she's the one. Stick around, marry her and then you can have sex.

    "I started this relation thinking that I would be intimate with her"
    I'm guessing you already knew she was a devout "Catholic Christian". Did you not think about the no sex before marriage rule? Or did you just assume she would break it? Either way it doesn't matter. You should have found out pretty early on if she was gonna have sex before marriage.

    If all you want is sex from this woman, then I'd bail out. If you do actually love her and you think she's the woman for you. Then I mean you're gonna have to get married if you want the sex part.

    It's pretty simple actually. Are you with her just in the hopes of getting sex? Bailout
    Or are you with her because she's the girl of your dreams? Marry her.
    pranav02, Eleanor, Nikolai and 5 others like this.
  4. dragonslayer

    dragonslayer Fapstronaut

    I respect her belief and we both connect well. We both being of different religion makes it difficult for us to marry and we both need more time to focus on our careers too. So marriage right now isn't an option. It would be like forcing it on both of us.

    And also when we started it, it's not like we were sure to marry each other. Now also we are getting to know each other. It's been around 2 years since we know and 9 months since we are in a relationship. It's just that it would be nicer if we were more intimate even before marriage but I guess we both can't do much about it.
  5. It's good to see some moral women who sticks to her beliefs. She may be a good girl. If you want to get laid then you to are incompatible. Theres nothing wrong with breaking it of and finding someone that want to be intimate. If youre not ok with not getting pussy you should save both of you some trouble and break it off.
  6. Ashin_kusher

    Ashin_kusher Fapstronaut

    I'd stick around. But that's just me. I'm not Catholic but girls like that are few and far between.
  7. Spiff

    Spiff Fapstronaut

    We really only know one thing about her - but if she is otherwise a good woman and you like her - stick with it and marry her. Consider yourself very fortunate to have found a woman who can stick up for her beliefs despite all the pressure this world puts on her to do otherwise. You've got yourself a gem.

    Sex will be all the better because you waited - For both of you it will reinforce the connection between sex and love.
    SuperFan, pranav02, Nikolai and 4 others like this.
  8. Runtilmylegsdropoff

    Runtilmylegsdropoff Fapstronaut

    Like Tom Petty said, " The waiting is the hardest part".
  9. Poseidon

    Poseidon Fapstronaut

    Break up with her. Don't waste your 20's waiting around for some prude. This is the prime of your life, go have some fun with some women who want to have fun.
    bro88 likes this.
  10. Septimus

    Septimus Fapstronaut

    What puzzles me is why you are asking US. Ask HER. Have HER explain her reasons to you. The understanding has to happen between you and her.
    pranav02, Happy Man, stygian and 7 others like this.
  11. Runtilmylegsdropoff

    Runtilmylegsdropoff Fapstronaut

  12. HappyDaysAreHereAgain

    HappyDaysAreHereAgain Fapstronaut

    There can also be issues with sex after marriage. In Catholic doctrine, sexual union should only happen when attempting to procreate. Any other seed spilling is sinful. Many couples fudge on this rule with the rhythm method, or openly break it with contraceptives, which are completely outside canon law.
    With the two most highly regarded virtues being virginity and motherhood, a man has no hope of being truly virtuous, and he has difficulty meeting his sexual needs, while remaining married to a woman whom he wants to keep as virtuous as possible. A common solution is taking a mistress along with the virtuous mother that he is respectfully married to. He avoids being a M*F*er, and there is no reason for him to drag his wife into an extended time with him in purgatory. He can help her stay virtuous, even though he has no hope for himself. If she is really Catholic, it really will always be complicated.
    Last edited: Aug 24, 2017
  13. CompulsiveCrab

    CompulsiveCrab Fapstronaut

    Respect her or get you a scallywag. I wish I could meet a girl with self respect these days. As for the argument of have fun while your young. That saying is from men that get married to a woman they didn't want to end up with but that's how it played out
  14. Best advice so far.
  15. dragonslayer

    dragonslayer Fapstronaut

    Thanks. It's true.
  16. ConstraintsTheory

    ConstraintsTheory Fapstronaut

    Well when you get right down to it you only really have two options leave or can't force her to do something she doesn't want to like wise she can't keep you from leaving and finding what you want.

    My advice: if you have to think about it and in this case ask an online forum you are thinking to hard about a question that should be an easy answer of yes I'll stay or no I'll leave. Anything else is just wasting time.
    Happy Man likes this.
  17. Sorry man but you're incorrect about this point. Catholics must be open to life, but there is no doctrine stating they can only have sex if they're looking to procreate. I don't know where you got this from, but it's either a result of poor catechesis or you've been given some misinformation from another source.

    So Catholic teaching in laymens terms:
    Marital Act = mutually consensual sexual intercourse, including foreplay, resulting in the husband ejaculating inside his wife

    Unitive = no physical barrier between the sex organs

    Procreative = no artificial means used to attempt to prevent conception. This does not mean they must intend to conceive or that the act must end in conception, but rather that they must always be open to the possibility of conception.

    @dragonslayer if you care about her then you need to care about what she believes. If you know that her beliefs are not compatible with yours then the caring thing to do would be to end the relationship.
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 25, 2017
    SuperFan, Eleanor and Third_Eye like this.
  18. HappyDaysAreHereAgain

    HappyDaysAreHereAgain Fapstronaut

    I got it from official Catholic doctrine.
    "The only moral sexual act is natural marital relations open to life. The Magisterium of the Catholic Church teaches that each and every sexual act must be marital and unitive and procreative."

    In basic terms, the 3 requirements mean:
    Marital: Only between husband and wife
    Unitive: PIV only. No manual or oral stimulation is permitted.
    Procreative: only for the purpose of creating a new life, a child
    That is the official, but normally ignored, church law. Ask a priest. I asked a priest who had 3 doctorates including his LL.D. from the vatican. He could quote chapter and verse in latin for any church law.
    Third_Eye likes this.
  19. Fork2323

    Fork2323 Fapstronaut

    Get her to have anal sex or give oral than she will still be a vergin..all catholic girls do that.. plus maybe she is just stringing you along to not be alone. If she was a true christian she could not even date a hindu anyway as they consider all other religions as the devil.. ask her if she is a virgen, she might not be..and maybe you just dont turn her on.. some women have strong chemestry with certain guys and cant help themselves and just have sex despite themselves but another guy does nothing for them, but they hang with them to not be lonley.
  20. Buzz Lightyear

    Buzz Lightyear Fapstronaut

    You may have found yourself an awesome woman. This is not easy to do today. How to lock her down?

    First, convert to the Catholic Church, and then get married. Simples.

    What have you got to lose? Maybe your soul.
    What have you got to gain? An awesome woman... oh, and maybe eternal life.
    Last edited: Aug 25, 2017

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