Religious girlfriend wouldn't have sex :(

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by dragonslayer, Aug 24, 2017.

  1. wethebest

    wethebest Fapstronaut

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    Gravely sinful? That's not even in the 10 commandments. Killing somebody is gravely sinful. Rape is gravely sinful. Im catholic so I'm not trying to mess w you. If there's 2 people that like eachother and decide to have sex, do you think god is gonna be pissed? You have sex before marriage and then you can't get into heaven, you go to hell? Alot of people do this.
     
  2. Buzz Lightyear

    Buzz Lightyear Fapstronaut

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    I wouldn't put your own 'needs' ahead of your desire to please your partner as a happy recipe for a relationship. This is selfishness and will doom it to failure.

    I say 'needs' because this lacks morality. A moral person does not believe their actions are determined. They think they are free to choose how to behave... especially in regard to another person.... and in consideration of that other person's morality. A real man [even an Alpha] has self-control. We all intuitively know this, which is the reason most are here.
     
    Last edited: Sep 2, 2017
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  3. sparkywantsnoPMO

    sparkywantsnoPMO NoFap Moderator & Yeoman
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    This is going into more of a religious discussion and may be close to hijacking the thread. I've started a thread in the Roman Catholic group forum where we can continue this discussion.
     
  4. It has nothing to do with being extremely religious. It has everything to do with her living out her beliefs. Sadly, that's a quality most people lack and usually for something as stupid as human respect aka other people's approval.

    If she finds a man that shares the same values then this shouldn't be a problem. Is it hard to find a man that can control himself? Yes, sadly it is. We're the proof of what's wrong with men these days. For most religious people it's difficult to live your beliefs because they're in constant opposition with certain social norms nowadays when it comes to sex, dating, and maintaining a relationship. The ironic thing is it's usually pleasure seekers who accuse the religious of picking a lifestyle because it's "comforting" to them. Never taking into account the woman/man saving her/himself for marriage and being called a prude/fag because s/he won't give their boy/girlfriend husband/wife privileges. Or the men/women who know they could never be with just one person so they stay celibate for life. Or those who are attracted to the same sex but remain celibate for their entire life. No one thinks of the sacrifices these people make in a world telling them "no, do it. I'm sure God would be okay with it" or "you're stupid for believing in God. Live! Enjoy every desire" blah blah blah. Sadly some of these same people who taunt say they even have a personal relationship with their God even though conveniently enough their God never seems to ask them to do things contrary to their own will and desires, which we know is unheard of in an actual relationship, but I digress.


    Define regular everyday Christian and then tell me how you came up with this title.

    If you know it's contrary to her beliefs why would you ask her in the first place?
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 2, 2017
  5. Spiff

    Spiff Fapstronaut

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    Not picking on you personally - I know this is a commonly held idea these days. I think this is idea of needing to have sex before commitment in order to test for sexual compatibility is ridiculous. It shows that somehow the mechanics of sexual intercourse determine the viability of a relationship.

    Really - there's no way to test for sexual compatibility - since any sex outside of lifelong commitment, while it may be physically pleasurable, is bound to be emotionally and spiritually disappointing, if not at first then shortly thereafter when the neurological fireworks are extinguished. Don't allow yourself or a relationship to be reduced to merely a physical entity.

    If two people are genuinely committed to one another, have the rest of their lives to figure it out, and have even a vague understanding of the meaning of and relative importance of sex - I have no doubt that any two people who are otherwise compatible can achieve something much greater than mere satisfactory sexual gymnastics.

    @dragonslayer Please do not do this! Like @Son of a Bitch said - it's hard enough for a girl to have held onto her integrity for as long as she had. Don't be part of the problem.
     
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  6. Buzz Lightyear

    Buzz Lightyear Fapstronaut

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    Yes, by courting someone and seeing if you are 'compatible' with them.... do they have dignity, and self-control... or are they just one big lust bucket?

    Sexual need, and 'high sex drive' are post-Freudian myths. In the sexual sphere all we have is desire, and desire can be controlled.
     
  7. wethebest

    wethebest Fapstronaut

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    If you say to your S.O. "hey I know you won't have sex but what do you feel about oral sex?" And she gets upset, like really upset. 1) she is mentally ill 2)that's not a relationship worth staying in, you can't even communicate w her
     
  8. Third_Eye

    Third_Eye Guest

    Just out of curiosity. How does her not wanting oral sex make her "mentally ill?"
     
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  9. wethebest

    wethebest Fapstronaut

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    Nah lol I meant if she gets really upset with you asking. If she says no the first time and you keep asking it would be out of line. You should be able to ask your S.O
     
  10. sparkywantsnoPMO

    sparkywantsnoPMO NoFap Moderator & Yeoman
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    I respectfully disagree. If she already told you she doesn't want to engage in sexual acts, and you try to convince her of technicalities, how does that make her mentally ill? In her mind, she was already clear, and you're persisting. She may react in a stronger manner than necessary, but again, I don't think that qualifies as mental illness.
     
  11. I always figured a sign of mental illness would be asking questions you already know the answers to while expecting a different outcome.
     
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  12. Third_Eye

    Third_Eye Guest

    But if she doesn't want to, and explicitly said no the first time you asked, why keep asking?
     
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  13. wethebest

    wethebest Fapstronaut

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    You don't. At that point you either leave or deal with it
     
  14. Third_Eye

    Third_Eye Guest

    But that's messed up, though. Why would a person leave their partner just because they're not interested in sex. That's basically saying that you only wanna be with your partner because of the sex and ONLY the sex.
     
  15. sparkywantsnoPMO

    sparkywantsnoPMO NoFap Moderator & Yeoman
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  16. Nikolai

    Nikolai Moderator Assistant Staff Member Moderator Assistant

    Girls like this Catholic one, are the best around. I mean they can keep their values despite the society nowadays which tells people "Have as much sex as you can or else... the universe will collapse". I'd rather be with one of these type of girls, and not with "slutty princesses" who the only thing they care about is sex. Most of them will eventually end up having an affair.

    Anyways, I don't think the part of sex is the most important, but maybe how an atheist guy and a theist woman can coexist in a relationship.
     
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  17. Sυperмan

    Sυperмan Guest

    Would you also ask your vegan girlfriend to share a steak with you? :D
     
  18. bro88

    bro88 New Fapstronaut

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    Your relationship is doomed..... end it now or whenever you feel, its up to you....
    But i wouldnt make any long term plans if i were you..... marriage is hard as it is..... by adding the complication of different cultures(assuming you are indian and she is not) and faith really messes everything up..... not to mention the family.
    What type pf wedding are you gonna have? Hindu? She wont approve..... christian? Your family wont......
    How will the kids be raised?
    What will they be named?
    A tonne of other stuff..
    Btw, hats off to you for tolerating a religious person for so long....... i salute your endurance
     
  19. sparkywantsnoPMO

    sparkywantsnoPMO NoFap Moderator & Yeoman
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    It’s not encouraged due to cultural and religious differences, but such a marriage is allowable with a disparity of cult dispensation.
     
  20. I will win

    I will win Fapstronaut

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    Sorry to break it down to you, but your relationship won't work unless both of are gonna marry each other, but in this case, I think it won't also work as it will be difficult to raise up children will become Christians, and not Hindu, and vice versa.
     

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