Reporting Daily Activity and Goals For Accountability

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by goingmonkmode, May 18, 2019.

  1. goingmonkmode

    goingmonkmode Fapstronaut

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    Subject: Restarting my Nofap Journey. I also want to limit my use of social media apps like Youtube, Instagram and Facebook. I want to focus on my work and things that will help me be a better man.

    No P/M Day: 0

    I'm 27 and I started watching porn at the age of 14, a few years before actually having sex. I had sex for the first time at 17. Even when having sex my first time, there were times when I would be envisioning some random porn scene. We dated for only a few months. I didn't have sex again until I was 20 but my porn use increased to about 2-3 times every day or every other day. Without realizing it I had conditioned myself to get erected by the girl first going down on me as I wasn't able to get an erection simply by just kissing the girl or seeing a girl naked. This problem became apparent to me when I was 22-23 while I was with a hot girl I always wanted but couldn't rise to the occasion. I started using ED pills whenever I would have a sexual encounter. I have been using that method ever since I was 23 and it worked but sex never felt the same, I didn't feel connected to the act. My orgasms with the girls would never feel intense, its like my mind was somewhere else. What's worse is that right after the girl would leave I would have the intense urge to open up some porn and masterbate. From all of this, its pretty safe to say I developed porn induced ED and I need to correct that. I also developed some anxiety and lack of concentration. I went on a couple streaks one for 60 days and another for 81 days. Neither was enough to see some real healing and physical reactions so I know it will take longer than that to fully heal, probably at least 4-6 months.

    I also began dating a new beautiful girl recently. She is great and I want to see where things goes with her. But I can't carry this addiction with me into this new relationship. This needs to end. I want to have sex with her and be fully in tune with her. We haven't had sex yet but I believe we will in a few weeks as we continue to date. I will still be having sex on this journey but I want to completely cut out porn and masterbation. I know that some of my triggers are things like youtube and instagram so those need to also be extremely limited.

    I will be keeping a daily log of my activities in order to keep myself accountable. I want to stop wasting time doing unproductive things and focus my energy and concentration on school work. I have a big exam coming up soon and I can't afford any distractions. Getting up early in the morning has always been one of my weaknesses so that is one area I will be trying to target. I will also be establishing a goal of going to the gym at least 5 times a week for one hour each day. Tomorrow morning this first thing I will be doing is logging on here to log my time. I want to be up and starting my day by 8 am so let's see if I can do that.

    I know that there is nothing impossible. I will just take it day by day. If you are reading this and are new to this journey, just know that you aren't alone in the struggle.
     
    delhiboy likes this.
  2. delhiboy

    delhiboy Fapstronaut

    all the best man
     
    goingmonkmode likes this.
  3. goingmonkmode

    goingmonkmode Fapstronaut

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    No P/M Day: 1

    Woke up at 9am
    Had Breakfast and will be starting work now at 10:35am

    I woke up a little later than I wanted to. Did one of those wake up early, shut the alarm off then go back to sleep.

    My mood is alright. Not feeling too bad or good and not having any real urges.

    My Goals for today is to work 10 hours. I also want to hit the gym today for an hour. I will post again later tonight to see if I accomplished my goals.
     
    delhiboy likes this.
  4. delhiboy

    delhiboy Fapstronaut

    if you are not habitual to working for long hours then in starting it may be little too much but gradually when you stick to the goals you will be there for sure. after a day or two of hard work your brain may refuse to focus or concentrate on anything. but that is a good sign as you shall know that you agitated your brain by pushing it to limits. then next time when you make it concentrate it will listen to you and focus immediately.
    all the best man, i am rooting for you.
     
    goingmonkmode likes this.
  5. goingmonkmode

    goingmonkmode Fapstronaut

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    I want to get on your level bro lol thanks I’m going to try to implement that plan
     
    delhiboy likes this.
  6. delhiboy

    delhiboy Fapstronaut

    :D sure bro , lets do it together.
     
  7. goingmonkmode

    goingmonkmode Fapstronaut

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    No P/M Day: 2
    Time: 12:20pm

    I couldn't update last night but I unfortunately wasn't able to reach my goals of 10 hour study and gym. I started getting distracted throughout the day that broke up my concentration. I woke up a little later today and will start working now.

    My goal for today is to study at least 8 hours but I want to push for 10 hours. Studying medicine is incredibly demanding so I need to focus and put all of my energy into the day. I also want to go for a 4 mile run tonight after studying.

    I woke up this morning with some urges. I got some morning wood, maybe 70-80%. I spontaneously get erections and sometimes morning wood. Erections for me are so weird, sometimes I get them when I laugh at something or just get excited about some news. Looking forward to the day and getting work done.
     
    delhiboy likes this.
  8. delhiboy

    delhiboy Fapstronaut

    yeah way to go brother, keep trying, you will be there soon.
     
    goingmonkmode likes this.
  9. goingmonkmode

    goingmonkmode Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for the encouragement bro
     
    delhiboy likes this.
  10. goingmonkmode

    goingmonkmode Fapstronaut

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    No P/M Day 3

    Stayed up late last night studying so I woke up a little later today. Going to start working now. I was able to do my 4 mile run yesterday and do some good studying. Last night I did have some urges and my brain was basically asking me what I wasn't doing its regular routine. So many years of porn and masterbating will do that. Going to try to make the day productive as possible. I didn't have any urges waking up this morning but I am starting to notice that my brain is trying to latch onto other things like Instagram, youtube. These apps are so damn addictive its crazy. So much wasted time for no reason. That dopamine hit is what I want to cut.

    Lastly, I think I will be trying to make it a habit to not be touching my phone or looking at a computer screen 30 minutes to an hour before sleeping. I think it should help me regulate my sleeping patterns.
     
    Last edited: May 21, 2019
    delhiboy likes this.
  11. goingmonkmode

    goingmonkmode Fapstronaut

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    No P/M day 4

    I had some urges last night that were bringing me down. I was getting a little upset and started thinking about some girls of my past. But I was still able to block them out and continue. This morning I am feeling better with no urges and woke up earlier. I'm going to start my day now.

    My goal is to work as much as possible without looking at the clock. I'm going to do 3 hour blocks of work until I get to 9 hours. If I can I will push for 12 hours of work. I will also be going to the gym tonight to do an hour workout.

    I still can't believe how hard these first few days have been. This past year I was such a slouch and had zero will power, just doing whatever my mind wanted to do, which meant endless hours of youtube, instagram, facebook, and of course porn and masterbating. I did that for months and wasted so many days. I went in deep so I guess it makes sense for it to hurt on this complete detox.

    But I am starting to enjoy the pain and suffering. One thing about me is that whenever I have embraced suffering in my life, I become extremely focused. The suffering allows me to channel my focus. Suffering by killing the old habits that my body and mind wants. Suffering by not taking the easy way and electing for the harder way. I always knew this about myself but this year finally proved it to me. If I am not in a state of suffering then I cannot grow and I won't be sharp. I'll be embracing discipline like an old friend.
     
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  12. delhiboy

    delhiboy Fapstronaut

    Try to forget the past, yes we wasted so much time on porn and masturbation but if we think of past there is so much guilt and we cannot change anything. Lets not bring bad memories of past bro, you'll feel ok then.
    You are doing great bro
     
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  13. goingmonkmode

    goingmonkmode Fapstronaut

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    Thank you brother you are right. The present and the future is what matters most.
     
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  14. goodnice

    goodnice Fapstronaut

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    I remember day 5 was very hard and i had intense urges to M but i pushed through that day and thus have made it to 90 days.

    Self Discipline is freedom. And yes you will at times feel intense regret and sorrow and shame for your past mistakes, but know that it is okay. You still can become all that you were meant to become and more.

    And you needed to experience suffering and trials and pain in order to finally realize your mistakes and learn from the lessons and grow.

    And given that you’ve had long streaks before, you know what it takes. you will have to confront the lingering unresolved emotions and not turn to pmo to comfort you, because it will not. it will make you feel even worse and more hopeless.

    Do not live of the world, do not live simply to satisfy your flesh, but walk by the Spirit, cuz you can only satisfy one but not the other.

    I wish you well and thanks for the girl advice
     
    delhiboy likes this.
  15. delhiboy

    delhiboy Fapstronaut

    Nice writeup man.
     
  16. goingmonkmode

    goingmonkmode Fapstronaut

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    Just a quick update before I go to sleep, maybe this will help someone. Stay humble on this journey and be vigilant. Pay attention to what your eyes are watching and what your ears are listening to. Doing aimless activities will get you into fucking trouble.

    When you are feeling good and like you have everything under control IS WHEN YOU SHOULD BE THE MOST CAREFUL! Dont ever think you have this addiction under control. In the morning you might wake up feeling great and you let your guard down only for you to get hit with temptation and urges that bring your whole spirit down. Pay attention to everything. Be mindful.
     
    delhiboy likes this.
  17. delhiboy

    delhiboy Fapstronaut

    Exactly man
     
  18. goingmonkmode

    goingmonkmode Fapstronaut

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    Day 5

    I am feeling better than I did yesterday but will remain vigilant. I will be deactivating apps like youtube and instagram for at least a few weeks to get my concentration back fully. I feel like these apps are a gateway drug and are ways your mind can wander.
     
    delhiboy likes this.

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