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Requesting advice on dating while on a standard reboot

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by RealSexisBest, Jan 4, 2019.

Is it possible to completely delete the app store from iPhones?

  1. Yes

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  2. No

    100.0%
  3. I'm too narrow in my focus

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  1. RealSexisBest

    RealSexisBest New Fapstronaut

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    Hello fellow fapstronauts!

    I have been trying, for a few years now (geeze, just hit me) to abstain from pornography (P) and masturbation (M), on my own, with a mixed bag of success.

    The longest streak I have managed to ever achieve is exactly 28 days BUT on the 29th day, I saw a photo of my ex with her current BF and that completely floored me...so close...Unfortunately, since then, the streaks haven't been much longer than 7 days AND in recent times, I have been struggling with making it past 1 standard week without engaging in P or M.

    To cut a long story short, I have been having problems with applications on my phone, over the past couple of months. I am trying to stay active in the dating scene while completing a standard reboot too. So, I currently use online dating apps - Bumble and eHarmony. I make a point to use 'reputable' apps plus since my time is limited, apps are a convenient way to match and meet with like-minded women. The problem is that, occasionally, I will stumble across an arousing picture and fixate on it. Yes, I have used that as a springboard for P&M BUT other times, I will have enough strength to abstain from using that as a springboard. It's not good news, unfortunately. In these instances, the thought still lingers and I find myself (complete autopilot, trying various ways to stop but still stumbling) downloading apps like Instagram and Tumblr and then using them as springboards.

    Fortunately, I still manage to muster enough strength to restart and keep moving forward BUT I'll be honest, the strain is starting to take its toll on me...

    So, I finally arrive at the point of this thread...Could someone please share tips on how to remain active in the dating scene while completing a standard mode reboot? OR, if anyone has other tips to share (e.g. please point out if I've missing a key point) I am all ears :)

    Regards,

    RealSexisBest
     
  2. zoraktothefuture

    zoraktothefuture Fapstronaut

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    Being that I'm still in the situation where I've never really gotten to the point where I've abstained long enough to have truly felt the effects of recovery, I'm not necessarily the best authority on this. But from what I've read at least, PMO often leads to feelings of isolation and withdrawal, which in turn leads to feelings of awkwardness. So in theory, I would think that if you or I can get through this issue for a long enough period of time, it could help with in person contact and relationships. Because let's face it - asking people out in person is just more difficult. You have no idea their intentions, interest or availability like you do(to some extent) from dating apps. But I would also think that, once you get past that and just go for it, you're probably in a very small category as so many others are withdrawing to just the apps.

    And as far as those temptations go, the same happens to me. Most of the time I'm fine, but if I happen to be looking at the wrong time it could be an issue. When I've found that it's happening more often to me, I've simply uninstalled them for a time and allowed myself to mentally refocus a bit. And some of them still allow people to match with you anyways so you aren't missing out on much.
     
  3. RealSexisBest

    RealSexisBest New Fapstronaut

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    Thank you zoraktothefuture!

    I agree with your point about PMO leading to feelings of isolation and withdrawal. Unfortunately, I experienced that today when I had to reset my timer...BUT I'm looking at this as on opportunity. I've been a NoFap member for a while but never really asked the community for advice until now. New Year's resolution, I suppose...

    Also, yes. I experienced a pleasant uptick in confidence around women during my best streak a couple of years ago. You'd think that would be enough of a motivator for me but, strangely, I haven't managed to revisit those levels in recent times. Nevertheless, valid point and I'll continue in my efforts to attain that uptick.

    That's a very good point about refocusing. I hadn't really considered that as an option before.

    Regards,

    RealSexisBest
     

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