RESETTING MY COUNTER TO BECOME A BETTER PERSON !

Whatever happened to make you relapse and reset after 6 days doesn't matter.

That is in the past.

Just take a lesson from what happened to not let this happen again in the future, and forget about the rest of it.


This is your first day of reboot.

It should not be your last Day One.

Really, as I've learned, every day must be Day One--the first day with the same original commitment.

Every day must be for us the same as today--Day One--for the duration of our rebooting.

That is the reason behind my screen name on this site: DayOne44.

We can't think that we will get passed Day One.

The days after today should be no different than this one.

That is why counting days with counters can be deceptive, although important.

We can get deceived by progress, and think that the quality of our days changed.

Then, there is a tendency to just coast and not be vigilant in managing urges and working our NoFap programs.

That is a huge risk for relapse.


All that I know is that today, this Day One, I will not look at pornography or masturbate.

Tomorrow, I will make a decision about what to do then.

I'll worry about PMO tomorrow when tomorrow arrives.

You do the same.


Good Luck on your 90 Days!

 

Agree with @DayOne44

 

I reset everything on January 1st. Starting fresh in the new year, and I feel great. Good luck man!

 

You ask a very good question about what is porn.

Pornography can be hard to define.

Back in 1964, the Supreme Court was trying to answer this same question.

The most that Justice Potter Stewart could say to define pornography was, "I know it when I see it."

That is a famous quote.


As we know, there is a wide range of material which can be classified as pornography.

There is everything from full-frontal pictures of nude women, to videos of sex acts, to images of strange fetishes being acted out, to more extreme things beyond.

Playboy magazine, from what I've read in the news, no longer is portraying full-frontal nudity.

I'm guessing that the models are now somehow covering up their key parts, while still nude.

(I confess that I have been tempted to check out the new format, but I know that would be for more than idle curiosity.)

(My interest in the cultural shift in the format of this magazine would be nothing but a rationalization to use the new Playboy, the same as I used the old form.)

(We must be on guard for how our addicted brains will play tricks to get us to look at sexually stimulating stuff.)

Is Playboy then still porn, as it has long been viewed?

That question need not be answered.

No doubt, Playboy is still designed to be sexually arousing.


We must avoid such sexually arousing material because it will only feed our addictions.

You will see many guys posting on NoFap about what we call "P-subs." (Those are "porn-substitutes.")

Those are pictures of women in bikinis, lingerie, or in sexually provocative poses.

Underwear advertisements can fall into this category, if we use them for sexual stimulation and don't stop looking at them when we are aroused.

These kinds of P-subs are used in place of real nude porn.

We don't feel the guilt of a relapse into PMO by ogling them.

(I've masturbated with videos of Sports Illustrated swimsuit models.)

(Really sexy, but not porn. Right?)

Because they are not porn exactly, we can think that we are not doing anything wrong looking at them, especially when we are not jerking off with them.

That is not so.


Looking at sexually arousing material is a slippery slope.

Whether objective porn or not, some pics and videos, on YouTube or wherever, can draw us into a full-blown porn binge.

Sexual arousal is a "high."

We want a more intense high, and that comes from stuff which is clearly porn.

We want more, and more, and more . . . . We want to see more, and more, and more . . . .

After you've gone so far, you feel as though you have already caved and find nothing left to lose.

Once you make yourself so horny, there is no turning back.

There's no reason not to go ahead and masturbate with real porn and take it to the finish line.

P-subs are the staring point in many cases.


P-subs will have the same effects on our brains as looking at pictures that are obviously pornography, of whatever degree.

The answer here is not about the characteristics of pictures and videos that make them objectively pornography.

This is about the effects that some images, whether explicit or simply suggestive, have on our brains.

Our brains get "high" when we see such material. The need for that high is what makes us addicted.

(First thing you must do is educate yourself about pornography addiction.)

(You'll find material on this site explaining how dopamine is released in the brain when viewing sexually stimulating images.)

The problem is not in our dicks and balls. Our addiction is in our brains.

Your brain is your biggest sex organ.


So, our challenge is not so much to just stop touching our dicks.

We must stop feeding the addiction in our brains. Any sexual material, explicit pornography and P-subs, will feed it.

The challenge is to starve the addicted brain of these materials which it craves.

Then, our brains will change and so will our lives.