Restart (again) : 1 week and still going

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by Strong Cat, Oct 16, 2018.

  1. Strong Cat

    Strong Cat New Fapstronaut

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    Hello everyone..
    I'm a 23 y/o man, married (almost 4 year now), with 1 kid.
    I have this problem since 15 or 16.

    I married when I was 19, it's prety common in Moslem community you know, young marriage.
    I thought I can easly remove this habbit when I have a wife. But, sadly it's getting worse. My "searching" become more spreading and my imagination about sex is getting wilder.
    I'm thinking about incest, and going to prostitute (since I have my own money from my job), sex with my neighboor and my housemaid.

    I thought I can fulfill my sex desire in marriage life. But, unfortunately my wife is not an "sex-girl". Her interest about sex is almost nothing.
    She did sex with me just because she think "I have to do this, I'm his wife."
    In one year, probably she only persuade me to sex once or twice. And I'm not comfortable with this situation, tbh.

    I was thinking, she was my problem. She makes me getting worse in this situation.
    Until I watched movie "Don Jon".
    I watch this movie because I think it's just porn, you know. This movie is all about sex and sex.
    But, honestly, this movie really educated me about sex it self.
    All this time, I just thinking sex is just for me. I'm not thinking about her, about her life, about what she think.
    At the end of this movie I actually almost cry beacuse I feel really bad about my wife's feeling all this time.

    I really do love my wife. She is the only one in my life.
    She's beautiful and she have very good looking body, even after giving-birth of my baby she still sexy as hell.

    But, I never tell her about my habbit.
    And I think didn't know yet.
    One of my question is; should I tell her? And asking her to help me to stop this?

    Anyway, I just knew this page about 3 days ago and decide to sign-up in this day (October 16)
    Before nofap, I've done so many ways and installing app (like Reboot, ect) to help my self. But I never reach more than 90 days.
    My longest record was 28 days.
    And then I'd PMO again.
    Restart again. Maybe last long for one week or so, and then PMO again.
    So basicly my PMO is about 4-6 times per month.

    In my sturggle journey, I think the best way for me to avoid and distract PMO is by doing exercise in gym and join sport community.
    I can survive for 14-28 days by doing this activity.

    And, ofcourse I still do sex with my wife. Hahah
    And another question;
    What if I filming our sex, and PMO with that video. Is that considered as "watching porn"?
    I know it's ridiculous, but I just wondering. XD

    ===========

    I've read so many stories from this page. And this is amazing.
    I spent hours in this page for read all your story and this is actually give me possitive vibes and motivation.

    Please give me more motivation to get this done.
    My closest target is 30 days, and then 90 days, and 6 mo. - 1 whole year.
     
  2. mouds

    mouds Fapstronaut

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    if you tell her, then she will have sex with you NOT because "I have to do this, I'm his wife", but that time, because either "we have a problem here" so she'd like to find a solution, OR because she'll feel sorry for you..in depends on her personality
    I have a question, do you see your wife everyday? do you have a kid? God gave you this family to take your responsabilities,, why the Hell are you looking for this PMO issue? and why would you need to film your sex? if you respond me then i'll answer you
     
  3. Strong Cat

    Strong Cat New Fapstronaut

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    Yes, i see my wife every day. I' actually working at home as publisher.
    I do have a kid, as I mention it before.
     

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