Restored Capacity to Love

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by skyheart, Sep 1, 2014.

  1. skyheart

    skyheart Fapstronaut

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    I work as a greeter at my church. Today, I helped this one girl find a seat. Upon first glance, I noticed something deeper about her. Sure she was a blonde, but I didn't scan her up and down before I made a judgement all on her. With her, there was a twinkle in her eye, a warm smile on her face, and what I felt as a connection between us. I didn't need to "qualify" her on her looks to know that I liked her today. I genuinely felt a feeling of connection between us. And that was just through a simple eye-to-eye "Good Morning" with a smile!

    60 days ago I was obsessed with objectifying women, puffing myself up in pride, and being the "bigger man" with a closet ED problem. I was able to keep all girls at a safe distance by objectifying them in my mind and Ming to them later. I was AFRAID of connection with women because I had issues with BEING MYSELF. It was much safer to hide and have sex with myself rather than open my heart to connection.

    By the grace of God, today I could appreciate the subtlety of this woman's warm spirit, great energy and amazing heart. I glanced over at her a couple times throughout the service - she was singing and dancing freely, very passionate and beautiful.

    One of our mutual friends is going to try and put in a good word for me, but if nothing else I am just so overwhelmed by my capacity to feel love again - just thinking about the hope of relationship rooted in love makes me shake and bubble a little on the inside and burst with excitement.
     
  2. Ray22

    Ray22 Fapstronaut

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    Just wanted to say that was an awesome post, reading that has given me a little more inspiration to keep my own personal streak going. Thanks for showing me the light at the end of the tunnel, and keep the good news coming.
     
  3. Weiland

    Weiland Fapstronaut

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    If I could go back about ten years and do it over, I think I would have wanted to eliminate pornography from my life and restore that purity of vision. I'm with a very sweet, loving, Godly young woman right now. My pursuit isn't to be able to appreciate women, but to be able to fully appreciate this woman. She's worth it, and I want to be worth it as well.

    If there's one thing I've discovered about Satan's plan to destroy America and the Church, it's that pornography is one of his pet projects. Cut the men out of the picture, render them incompetent and impotent little boys, and the battle is as good as won.
     
  4. stronger626

    stronger626 Fapstronaut

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    This is a great post. Period.
     
  5. bmw4real

    bmw4real Fapstronaut

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  6. skyheart

    skyheart Fapstronaut

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    You ARE worth it. That's God's grace, I believe. No amount of what you do or don't do can change that. I know that's a little more theology and it's neither here nor there. But I do believe that too much guilt and self-depracating can do exactly the same harm that P does to us. Instead, be empowered! Count your blessings and find empowerment in your relationship! You have a (probably) super sweet girl that loves you unconditionally. I know it's easy to get down, but even today is a miracle ...just taking this challenge is a miracle. Take heart and keep it up dude.

    And so very true regarding the enemy's plan. And the only one that gives the power away is us. We must stop beating ourselves at a game that's already been won. The power is in day-by-day, moment-by-moment faith in something greater. A hope for something better.
     
  7. kcaz

    kcaz New Fapstronaut

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    Your story got stuck in my head. Thanks for sharing. It is a flicker in my carnal mind that women have a great deal more to offer than porn depicts. I'm not exactly sure how you find your way out of this, but I'm trying. I like stories like yours. Thanks man.
     
  8. UltimatePotential22

    UltimatePotential22 Fapstronaut

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  9. nuskavise

    nuskavise Fapstronaut

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    Personally, I don't like to mix religion into it, but overall it was a very good post!
    Inspiring read, thank you and good luck with your future endeavors, I think you have a good chance at maintaining your connection with her.
     
  10. shazbgd

    shazbgd Fapstronaut

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    Nice post and great work
     
  11. TurnAway

    TurnAway Fapstronaut

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    I’ll trade porn and everything that goes with it for moments like the one you described.
     
  12. simpleman42

    simpleman42 Fapstronaut

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    Very cool!! I have felt love was out of the question for me for the last 10 years. I attributed it to a nasty divorce. Maybe it is my addiction. Take care!
     
  13. Ekhangel

    Ekhangel Fapstronaut

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    Very well OP, I'm happy for you. I often feel the same about my reasons for abstinence. I want my mind to be 24/7 ready and set for higher-level spiritual experiences , and for that reason I must purge it from all the filth that oversexualization accumulates in our mind. Women tend to be beautiful creatures indeed and perceiving them mainly from sexual point of view is very disappointing to me, if not disguisting - regardless of whether you're looking at a church girl or a porn prostitute. This is just not how I want to perceive my fellow humans, because thinking is already doing in a way - it sets you up for further action and influences your decision making.

    Where love is the will to create and hate is the will to destroy, loving porn creates this sad and deep void in your mind where once you ejaculate, there is nothing left. The chicks at the screen or in your imagination just suddenly disappear, for this is what they were - mere illusions. You are willing to create an orgasm that is short-lasting and cannot give long-term satisfaction, but the energy is wasted in the process. Starting to appreciate non-sexual wonders of life that give long-lasting satisfaction (such as establishing families with worthy, noble and conscious people or any action having this in perspective) can sure be a life-changer, and this is what I wish to all of you, brothers and sisters.
     
  14. Clumsy

    Clumsy Banned

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    This confirms what I suspected, porn and masturbation makes men less empathetic, more vicious and less emotionally. When we quit we are restored to the basic lovely persons we once were.
     
  15. skyheart

    skyheart Fapstronaut

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    RAD words! You should really consider writing, buddy. It creates a sad and deep void in your heart as well. It's amazing to me how much more balanced we become when we stop PMO. It's like we begin to live life like a movie. And the movie is us - our insecurities, strengths, weaknesses, differences of personality and relationships all become so much more manageable. Wether for the "conservation of sexual energy" or just the balancing of our brain chemistry.

    Men, don't shy away from how colossal this nofap thing is. Turning off the porn and exercising self discipline takes HUGE balls. It's not for the weak. From 2 days to 2 years, to do this deal takes mad courage, and ridiculous tenacity. Its a courageous grind, but this courage is the same courage and integrity we will use in our relationship with our wives and girlfriends.

    Stay strong and be courageous today.
     

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