Retrospective -- Same goal - more reasons - fealing hopeful and wanted to share

In the beginning of the year, I made a conscious decision to focus on life, my family and happiness. I started to train for a triathlon, I made a conscious decision to spend more time with my family and it inevitably led to less time doing PMO... after a few weeks, I just decided I was on a roll and chose not to go back.

To give some context.. I made the decision as I was at an all time low, I realized the thoughts I was having were simply awful and began to expect it was related to porn I was watching. I actually started by saying, I wonder if I can condition myself to like another genre of porn.. and simply watching enough of it, I started to shift my thoughts.. but ultimately it escalates and you search for something more exciting.. the cycle is NEVER ending. I wanted something more fulfilling, and felt even though I have a wonderful family there was a void..

Fast forward till around mid July, I was doing really well until I relapsed and it just spiraled back to where I was.. I chose to try get back to where I was, and stopped PMO 08/09 - It's going on 10 days now and I'm beginning to feel great again. I remembered NoFap and logged in yesterday.. it was really interesting to see my posts from 2017.. I wanted to stop then because I was experiencing sexual dysfunction.. now 2 years later, I can confirm that porn 100% was the cause of my dysfunction as any issues went away and I was loving sex with my partner again. In 2019, I can say that the reason to stop porn is not limited to the physical adverse affects, but the mental too.. Porn is horrific, it makes you think of fantasies like sharing your wife that you WOULD never usually do, it makes you question your preferences... THIS is not normal... I wish I had never seen porn 20 years ago.. and it's only now I can honestly say the Porn Drug is worse than any drug I've taken, and it's been the longest and hardest to quit.

Now I'm having odd thoughts like.. what is a normal amount of time to think about sex in a day... how to act on it when you do..