I'm just posting to say hello and go on record that I will pursue healing here. I have read several threads over the last month and they have resonated with me since I have had similar experiences. Many years of a kind of slow-motion escalation has led me to what I feel is an undeniable crossroads, where either I will regain my positive self, or I will spiral into a truly self-destructive path. I am already two weeks into my first attempt at a reboot so we'll see how that goes, but what I feel is most important is that something deep within me has clicked, telling me it's time for me to turn this part of my life around, along with related issues I'm dealing with. Thanks for letting me be part of this community and expressing myself. I'm not sure now much I'll post but I will be reading alot and hoping to gain wisdom from others.