Rewiring Process and What's Next After NoFap

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Optimum Fortitude, Jan 11, 2018.

  1. throwaway11

    throwaway11 Fapstronaut

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    True we did discuss. However, being in college is difficult to be going through this. It's everyone's sexual prime and I'm sitting here never horny anymore never getting erections. I'm like the only one here going through this
     
  2. I recently read some Camille Paglia "Sexual Personae"... (now I love reading things I don't agree with to find different insights and perspectives of things I can agree with) and I found some of the stuff she said fascinating. She comes up with all these weird analogies and metaphors about what male and female sexuality is about and how it plays out in our personalities. It's not something I find that useful... other than the backdrop for fiction but then she says things that suddenly sound stunning true... I haven't written the quotes out yet, so I paraphrase: But she describes how the male sex act is this triumphant ride of man seeking to conquer nature that ends in failure. Because the seeming goal, the orgasm, is at once the end of the endeavor. This ties into another stereotypical difference in tendencies between men and women where men are always looking to the future (to achieve some goal (orgasm, financial security etc. etc.) they are much more prone to put everything in the moment on hold to achieve that goal) whereas women tend to live more in the present).
    Anyway this triggered and reinforced for me my thinking about my own eroticism and fantasies... and I figured if I removed the goal / orgasm aspect from them it would allow me a way to still fantasize to some degree without setting myself up for a relapse.... Seems to be working so far. My problem has been that if I avoid or suppress erotic fantasies they easily emerge in an overpowering way in a few weeks and lead to relapse. Removing the goal of orgasm from the fantasies makes them run their course and come and go and not overwhelm me.
    Anyway I am out of time. I'll try and find something more coherent about this in the next few days if I remember.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 13, 2018
  3. Do you realize how truly lucky you are and how wonderful this is?
    You're basically Neo from the Matrix.
    There is no glory in being a copper top.
     
  4. throwaway11

    throwaway11 Fapstronaut

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    No it sucks. I think it's flatline. I've heard once it passes it means you've successfully rebooted
     
  5. I don't have time to go to the therapist because of my job. I have to quit my job first. It is a necessity that I quit my job but I need to figure out what to do.

    I agree. If a psychologist tells me that PMO is not real and that it doesn't cause PIED and that the problem is something else, I will not reschedule an appointment, because they would be judging. I would pay a therapist to have him guide me through a reflection on my self, not to tell me what they think is right or wrong. If a patient says they think they are addicted to PMO, then it's a subjective FACT and the therapist has no right to judge. A therapist should never be a judge!

    I agree. This means I have to find a girl that also wants to take things slow. In these days and age, it's becoming increasingly difficult. Conservative (positive adjective) girls are like that, but they are harder and harder to find.
     
  6. You sound like a heroine addict who went on a forced detox. The only way it can possibly suck is if you believe that the only thing worth doing and being is a sex addict. This is the defacto fanatical religious belief of most people these days. It's called hedonism. It's slavery of the mind. You're having an opportunity here to break free of it. But it sounds like all you want is to get back to a more powerful enslavement.

    So I guess you're Cypher rather than Neo...
     
    Optimum Fortitude likes this.
  7. There are different ways to go about it. You can do therapy via skype, find a therapist in a different time zone. I've never done it... but I have friends who have. I don't see why it wouldn't be just as effective. And you may be able to find a therapist who fits your needs more precisely that way.
    Another thing you could do is join nofapacademy.com for 3 months. It costs a little but not that much...cheaper than therapy for sure. They have tons of videos many of which are very good... and they have a live Q&A once a week to... you won't have to quit your job to do that.
     
  8. MatthewGrün

    MatthewGrün Fapstronaut

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    Anything that you during nofap is rewiring your brain with new connections over old ones. For example, I have taken up a lot of writing. I didn’t write at all in the beginning of my new life but I began recording a daily activities log, writing a daily schedule for myself, then journaling my thoughts, and now I am writing my novel. I don’t think I am being rewired as opposed to finding out what I can do without O.
     
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  9. I could do that with the psychiatrist of my mom and brother. This dude seems to be the real deal. My mom said he basically saved her life. But he's treating nearly al of my family members and I don't know how he could be unbiased since my mom probably already talked a lot about me to him during therapy sessions. I could have a first session with him in person but for that I would need to take a day off and travel abroad. But I'm seriously considering meeting him at some point, if only to ask him if he can recommend any other psychiatrist or ask him if I should rather seek help from a psychologist instead of a psychiatrist (I don't think I am mentally ill but I need serious help anyway).

    Have you joined nofap academy? I'd like to know more about it. Sometimes I wonder if it's not mainly for 18 year old kids. Perhaps it's also a lot of marketing - although I'm so grateful those guys do everything to spread the word, help people and keep this community alive and growing.

    Good idea. I have a few empty journals that only wait to be filled in. Do you just write about your life in general or do you have specific themes?
     
  10. You could try and do that over the phone ;) It seems hard for these types to take professionals in other branches of their own profession seriously..... you can try of course... but a psychiatrist recommending a psychologist doesn't seem likely.... as you already know the thing to watch out for with a psychiatrist is that they prescribe pills and that may well help you deal with symptoms of minor problems... but it's really better to learn and grow from them... unless of course you have a really serious problem.
    Yeah I did two courses of 3 months with them. These guys, especially Mark Queppet, is the real deal. Yes, he is trying to make a living being a life-coach which he appears to have become interested in through his NoFap journey and I think that is fantastic and that he should do that. But sure their advertising and marketing is a little off-putting, but there is no overlap with that and the content of the course. This is just him not really knowing anything about marketing and trying something that is kinda boilerplate in an off-putting way. You can also check out his Universal Man channel on youtube: https://www.youtube.com/user/SacredSexualityVlog
    I actually do that too. I use an online tool called penzu. I try and write about stuff I am struggling with or feel I have an insight about. Things that are on the edge of my self-awareness seem to be hard to see even if they are right in front of me... and easy to forgot... so journaling abut that helps me hold on and revisit. Of course, if you have the misfortune of stumbling on your nofap journey you should keep pushing to write... and then you can get a real insight in how your state of mind changes... one of those things that is easy to forgot... you become a different person at some level but cannot really fully remember what it was like in that other mode...
     
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  11. throwaway11

    throwaway11 Fapstronaut

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    I don't want to go back. I just feel trapped. I'm a college kid who can't even get a boner under any context
     

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