Ridding Myself of Bad Habits

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by TropicalMango, Feb 3, 2019.

  1. TropicalMango

    TropicalMango Fapstronaut

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    I'm 26 years old and trying to rid myself of 2 bad habits that have been ruling my life for more than half a decade: weed and porn.

    I'm currently on day 21 of quitting weed, and after finally being through the nasty withdrawal I experienced, I figured I was ready to finally go through with quitting porn. I've been smoking weed almost daily since a bad break up I experienced soon after I turned 20 and it has taken me several attempts to finally go through with it. At first it gave me wings, until it became a crutch, and it has taken quite a bit of research, self-discovery, willpower and mindfulness to quit it. That being said, quitting weed is one thing, but feels like quitting porn will be a challenge on a whole new level since I've been hardwiring my brain to it for more than twice as long.

    I've been masturbating since I'm 11 years old, and watching/seeking porn regularly since about the same age. Until my early 20s, I didn't really have much a problem with it, since it helped me with my anxiety, stress and depression, whether it be because of school, sports, relationships, work (heck life in general). Furthermore, at the time I didn't know any better about the hole I was digging myself in. But now, I can finally see how deep of a hole I've dug; it just feels like I'm a slave to my urges, mainly my sexual ones.

    After a couple of years that have been hard on my physical, mental and spiritual health, with bouts of suicidal thoughts, I noticed that I was using weed and sex (mostly porn) to make myself feel better. This had a really deep impact on my self-esteem, self-respect and self-love that further exacerbated my anxiety and depression. It also affected how I approached relationships, but that's the subject of another thread in itself.

    Now, I know that as a freshly independent young adult, life will not get much easier moving forward, I will just need to get more resilient to tackle the hurdles that will get in my way. So in light of that, I do not want to rely on weed and sex when things will get rough in the future. I want to be in control and regain my self-respect/esteem/love so I can finally thrive in my life.

    I know that going about this alone is extremely hard, if not impossible. So I joined this community in the hopes that it would help me on my journey to recovery, but also so I can eventually help other people in theirs too.
     
  2. ImpureHuman

    ImpureHuman Fapstronaut

    Weed,.. did u search or know about meditation? Just asking ..

    About M. First weeks are hard from experience. Will test you. So don't discourage yourself.

    We all are here to help you.
     
  3. TropicalMango

    TropicalMango Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for your reply @11square. Yes I have made a lot of research about meditation and mindfulness and I do apply some form of it on a daily basis.

    Now that I'm 21 days clean from weed, the urges are becoming rarer and rarer, which is good. But it has put a greater strain on my sexual urges, as my body is looking for that dopamine rush. I am having a very hard time letting go of sexual thoughts when they pop by, and I end up giving in and masturbating (and consequently feeling guilty).

    I know part of meditation is acknowledging our thoughts without judging them and without building on them; let them come, but let them go. So I guess I will need to keep working at that, as there may be no way around it.
     
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  4. Latinmixedboy

    Latinmixedboy Fapstronaut

    In my own experience,M is the most challenging one to be honest ,it needs a lot of willpower to overcome the urges ,I’m almost 6 months weed free and it wasn’t a big deal for me to stop doing it but like I always say ,one day at the time ,im on my 53th day free of PMO and is been a hell of a ride trust me ,but is worth it
     
  5. TropicalMango

    TropicalMango Fapstronaut

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    @Latinmixedboy Thanks for your answer man and congratulations for your accomplishments! Yes, I kinda saw it coming that this challenge would require a lot of willpower and that I will perhaps not be as efficient/effective on other aspects of my life as I would like to be. But I gotta go through it sooner or later.

    A couple of questions though. Does PMO also entail no sex with partners? And pertaining to weed, being 6 months clean from it, do you think you'll ever be able to partake occasionally without falling back into old habits?
     
  6. Latinmixedboy

    Latinmixedboy Fapstronaut

    Well talking about weed ,I really hope I won’t do it again and if u read my journal it might help you understand why I completely stopped doing it, cuz that was one of the huge reasons I was doing what I was doing lol...and that’s the NotFap challenge ,it helps you built confidence to go out and start having normal relationships ,that’s all about it ,having sex with your partner without recurring to Porn and being able to enjoy at 100% is the goal ,trust me it will be days when the urges (I call them demons )are going to be kicking your butt to go back into it but like I say willpower is what’s most keep me through all this time ,plus I have the same time without sex and weed and to be honest I feel great every day ,i Keep working on myself every day and going One day at the time ,it’s hard I always endure and suffer blue balls pain and i overcome in one of another way that and still working on it ,haven’t had a single wet dream cuz is also weird ,I have had seen many different benefits since the beginning,my Morning woods and nocturnal ones are same or more then Rock as hard ever but if still in the process of being a clean me and it takes longer but I’m here for the long haul ;)
     
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  7. TropicalMango

    TropicalMango Fapstronaut

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    I read your journal, and now I understand what you mean bro. I am glad to hear that you're living a fulfilling life without porn and weed, and it gives me hope that I will too. I've been clean from weed for just over 3 weeks and I don't have urges anymore, which is great. I don't intend on going back to my old ways of smoking every day, but I am not closed to the idea of enjoying it occasionally (once a week at most) after I am done with my 2 month challenge, as long as I don't use it to escape or out of boredom. And well, I am not closed to the idea of quitting it for good if I realize it just doesn't suit me anymore. But I honestly love weed, I just hated the relationship I had with it, and that's what I'm looking to improve. Same with M, I would like to improve the relationship I have with it, but I am definitely done with P. M can have benefits if done in moderation, but P just spells trouble. That being said, given your personal history, I respect and encourage your initiative man; you give me hope and courage to fight my own demons.
     
  8. Latinmixedboy

    Latinmixedboy Fapstronaut

    I know what you mean bro! I love M and I grow up doing without porn but once we had access to the internet everything changed ,I wasn’t a big fan of weed till I fall very deep in it ,I was more of cigarettes and actually spent almost 16 years smoking and I’m now 6 months free of that as well ,it was a complete change in my life ,been doing one day at the time ,everything is good but with moderation I always say,I completely stopped doing a lot of stuff I was used to do cuz it was eating my soul without knowing it and thanks God I decided to make a change for the greater good and is really hard the first months but willpower is amazing trust me as long you are committed,having big hopes or dreams and focus on them ,that will help you get through in the hard days ,Just remember,we will tented with the temptations but is in our own mind to choose between what is right and what is wrong ;)
     

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