Road To Freedom at the 500th mile

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by Roader to Freedom, Aug 23, 2019.

  1. I think that after 500 days of no PM (O – only with my wife), I’m somewhat obliged to write about my current state.


    1. Am I free?

    Yes, but…

    · Minor urges happen – they’re not something I care about, but the reason for them is explained in point X

    · I had two times when I almost screwed up. I was on the verge of losing. You’d consider this almost sub-P. That’s why I don’t feel like my 500 days is the score I’m 100% proud of. However, my rules were very strict (not looking at ANYTHING that used to make me horny, not just P). An impossible task to do for a hard addict, indeed.


    2. Disadvantages of life without addiction

    That terrible feeling of almost 13 years wasted by not getting my ass up to do something with my addiction.


    3. Advantages of life without addiction

    · This feeling that my life is only getting started and I can do whatever I want.

    · Having time to care only about real-life problems. Me and my wife got to live a hard life, having scarce chances for having a baby, and having healthy issues. Still, those are the problems I can fully focus on now, not some idiotic addiction.

    · Time – I have much more time. I sometimes feel like Dio screaming “ZA WARUDO!”.

    · Confidence – I’m normally a shy person, but also confident (even overconfident) when there’s a need for that.

    · Social skills – I feel more natural around people and I finally have great friends.

    · Body – I’ve been training some martial arts for over four years, and I’m getting better and better. Every aspect of my body got better thanks to sport and the lack of addiction.

    · Aura / charisma – Some people write about getting some special aura around them, that draws other people towards them. So, yep, I feel like I’m developing Conqueror’s Haki.

    · Sex-life – I don’t like talking about this, but what I can say… when I was addicted, I had problems. Now, it’s like an entirely different thing. It’s a completely different feeling. My body doesn’t have problems with anything when me and my wife want to make love. Yes, that’s the thing! We don’t make sex, we make love! It’s hard to explain if you don’t experience it. It’s like King Crimson’s ability – it just works.


    4. How to achieve freedom

    It’s clearly individual. However, there are some things that worked for me, and you can find that others agree on them:

    Believe - I’m a Roman Catholic, so - pray, confess, Communion, pray, confess, Communion, pray , get up, pray to Saints (like St. Augustine, St. Paul, St. Rita, St. John Paul II etc.), believe in His Mercy, confess, Communion, pray to Holy Spirit, repeat everything until it works and afterwards even more.

    State clearly what you want to do – write down some rules that will keep you in check. You know this thinking “Maybe it won’t hurt if I…” – if it hurt you in the past, write it down and stick to it. My general rule was actually very simple – “I will never look at any P again.” It automatically pushed me away from M, and I could add more specific rules to it (like: this and that makes me horny – I can’t look at anything like this and that).

    Cold showers – use them only when urges come. They should serve as a kind of punishment and refreshment at the same time. They have to be unpleasant.

    Do some sport – really, that’s the third thing that kept me from PMO. I was immediately feeling better after working out. If I couldn’t attend some training, I was working out at home, and then took cold shower.

    Meet new people – it’s actually related to sport in my case – you should meet new people at all cost, because your view of them (especially women if you’re a male addict) is distorted. It really changes your point of view. This point and the one above actually can be transformed into one, and that is:

    Learn sport that makes you meet new people – so, don’t go to a gym. Have you noticed how many people here write about their problems on the gym? That’s because it’s a very individual thing that doesn’t consume your INTELLECTUAL attention. If you have no other choice, then work out on the gym, but if you take one more risky step and decide to do some real sport instead, believe me, you’ll thank me later. My ideas: any martial arts (hand-to-hand combat, fencing – if you want to feel like an individual, but with friends), team sports (volley-, basket-, football etc. – if you want to feel like a member of a group). Invest in something that combines brain and body. I took the risk and I’ve been doing that for over four years, and I really, really recommend it.

    Never objectify women (if you’re a male addict) – it’s hard at the beginning, but I think it’s one of the easiest things you achieve after a month or three.

    Work / study – work and study – it’s self-explanatory, I think. It consumes your time in a positive way. Be the best worker, even if you collect rubbish. Learn new things or discover new hobbies. Learn how to juggle, watch VSauce, I don’t know, anything works.

    Avoid places that make you feel urges as much as possible – it’s some of the hardest things to do, because you must explain to your wife that you can’t go on holidays on the beach, and such. However, it’s worth it, because you must do it maybe for 90 days, a year or two (depends on people).

    Trust that NoFap is wonderful and works – join Challenges, use the Emergency Button as often as possible, find an AP, simply use everything this forum has to offer.

    There are possibly more things, but that’s all I can think of now.


    5. If I was just starting, would I add something/change something?


    Watch motivational videos – I found out that they’re great, even now.

    Wet dreams – learn to live with them, because they get rarer and rarer. I found that if you’re afraid of having a wet dream, take cold shower before sleeping. I can’t remember a wet dream after a cold shower.

    If you’re a Catholic, find your own priest-confessor – I was afraid to do it, and I actually couldn’t do it because I had to change my place of living several times, but it’s something wonderful during addiction. Something that speeds up the process. It’s like an AP, but not through the Internet.

    If you’re married, have as little sex as possible – it was surely slowing me down, but since we’ve been trying to have a baby, we couldn’t waste any chance. Even then, I made a rule with my wife, that we would have sex only and only when she wanted it. That way, I had to fight urges sometimes for some longer periods, and it helped me a lot. However, if you want to speed up the process, stick to 100% no PMO.


    Thank you, everyone, for all this time. I rarely look at the forum nowadays, but if you have questions, write on priv. I can’t guarantee that I’ll answer soon (or at all), but I’m willing to help as much as I want.


    Some of you know that my avatar has been changing from base-Goku to the new-born Omen Ultra Instinct Goku. When I finally feel truly free, I will change it to Mastered Ultra Instinct, however, I don’t feel it’s the right time yet. Pray for me, and thank you.
     
  2. Apothecarist

    Apothecarist Fapstronaut

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    this is an interesting journey, inspirational ! .. but one line attracted me, why should I pray to the saints ? I mean they are dead, aren't they ? even if they are alive, how can a human help me with an addiction by praying to him ? shouldn't I pray to the one who created them ? indeed He can guide me as he Guided them.
     
  3. MadJackMcMad

    MadJackMcMad Fapstronaut

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    Congrats on your huge progress and thanks for all the advice!
    I'm Catholic too, I pray I'll reach 500 days as well!
    However, I'm struggling with impure thoughts..
     
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  4. MadJackMcMad

    MadJackMcMad Fapstronaut

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    Sure, you can pray to God directly. But saints are close to him and (according to the Catholic Church) can intercede for men, so it makes sense to invoke them

    See:
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intercession_of_saints
     
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  5. BreakingBenjamin

    BreakingBenjamin Fapstronaut

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  6. Master Chips

    Master Chips Fapstronaut

    Congratulations man!! And thanks a lot of the tips!
    I was searching about Aura symptoms days ago after I reached 23 days streak (my highest streak), it seems real :)
     
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  7. Yep, like MadJackMcMad said it's all about intercession. Praying "to" a saint might be a bad choice of words, but to a Catholic it means praying "through". The same goes for sacred pictures and statues - they're like a Catholic telephone :)

    Impure thoughts happen all the time. You cannot deal with them easily, but I've heard a great idea: you can dedicate your pain induced by those thoughts for some souls in need or as a praying for the women that used to be your triggers. It's like using impure thought against the evil :)

    Of course, I'm not speaking about some metaphysical things :) Just plain charisma.
     
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  8. Apothecarist

    Apothecarist Fapstronaut

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  9. One important thing before I answer: we're not slaves to God. Maybe you used it as a humble expression, but still I had to point it out.

    The answer is simple: you don't need to use any picture. Whether you pray alone closed in a small room or in a gargantuan cathedral, your praying is worth the same. The same goes for Saints: you may pray directly to God, or through Saints. God is not a businessman.
    However, there are two aspects here to consider that explain it in a better way:
    1. Your thinking here focuses on one kind of people while there are hundreds. Some people cannot pray "efficiently" without some visual objects. Some get a "boost" to their faith while praying to a Saint that had similar problems during their life. So, broader and more emphatic thinking is the key to understand this.
    2. The Roman Catholic Church is a place where being humble and being able to humiliate yourself for a good cause are true virtues. That's why I pray to, let's say, St. Augustine because I don't always feel like I can do this directly to God. Consider Adam after eating a fruit in Eden. Also, when I'm in a place like a church, it's much easier for me to pray than, let's say, on a beautiful field covered in flowers. So, this argument is more about the character of the Catholic faith.

    I tried to explain it the best way I could. Maybe some priest or theologist would be better at this, so maybe you can try asking someone more knowledgeable about this stuff :)

    God bless.
     
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  10. Apothecarist

    Apothecarist Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for the clarification, you mentioned a very good example of Adam - peace be upon him -, you said that praying through saints will be easier for the sinner and more emphatic, as this may give him the space or the freedom to express his feelings of regret, pain or shame; maybe by doing this he will be able to feel better, then he will try to repent and become a better human. But, I do see that the giving an example of Adam - peace be upon him - as you did is a bit contradicting your point of view regarding the saints, as Adam himself did not have a saint back then in his time to pray through, he directly prayed to his God, didn't he ? so why shouldn't we do like him ? and after discussing this point, we can have a discussion if you want regarding the first line of your paragraph [ we are not slaves ] :)
     
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  11. MadJackMcMad

    MadJackMcMad Fapstronaut

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    1) You can do like Adam if you want, and pray directly. Nobody says you shouldn't pray directly to God. However the Church offers and recommends an additional way of praying, which is true the intercession of the Saints.
    2) Well, I don't know what is your belief exactly, but Catholics follow what Jesus taught. And he said to pray to God calling him Father. That's why we say we are children of God and not slaves
     
  12. Apothecarist

    Apothecarist Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for your informative reply, I didn't know that church can offer ways for doing prayers, but should I follow the church or as you kindly said in the second point that we follow the teachings of Jesus ? as in the holy book it is mentioned that we pray to God the way He ordered us, He did not mention in the Holy book that we should pray through saints, and it is also not mentioned in the Holy book that the church is allowed to offer new ways of doing prayers from its side, in the end we follow the teachings of God, not the teachings created by people who can be -unintentionally wrong-, do you get what I mean ?
     
  13. MadJackMcMad

    MadJackMcMad Fapstronaut

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    I get what you mean :) but you don't have to choose between following the Church or following Jesus. Jesus founded the Church and gave her the task of spreading the Gospel. So if you follow what the Church teaches, you follow Jesus truly.
    Also, yes, the Church is made of people. But we believe those people to be guided by the Holy Spirit (aka God).
     
  14. Apothecarist

    Apothecarist Fapstronaut

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    And this is the thing that I don't understand Sir, why are those people alone who are guided by God ? why don't we also be guided like them, do they have something special ? is that because we have some sins ? all the people have sins, then they also must have some sins like us, no ? so there must be justice in guidance for all people. Another point, why do you say that the Holy spirit is god ? you said before that he is Jesus, so, when you need help, which one do you pray for ? Jesus or the Holy spirit ? there's a smell of Polytheism, no ?
     
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  15. MadJackMcMad

    MadJackMcMad Fapstronaut

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    I think we are touching two of the dogmas of Catholicism. So they can be accepted or not, but it's not really possible to "prove" them.

    1) everyone can be guided by God/Holy Spirit. As a matter of fact we think God speaks to every man. But on matters of faith, only the Pope is infallible

    See:
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Papal_infallibility

    2) we believe God is one, in three persons. Father, Son (Jesus), and Holy Spirit.
    Se:
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trinity

    If I can give my very poor and simple representation, I see the different persons as the different faces of the same dice/coin :)

    Sorry for the wikipedia links and my poor explanation, but I'm no theologian
     
  16. Arms.R.heavy

    Arms.R.heavy Fapstronaut

    I laughed when I read this
     
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  17. Apothecarist

    Apothecarist Fapstronaut

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    Same answer as that of the gentleman who wrote this post, but he said that I should ask a priest, and when we ask the priest of our church he holds the bible tightly towards his chest, closing his eyes saying '' son !, we follow this book without questions !''. Then Sir, know that there is no God, but one God, He is so exalted to have a partner or a son, He have messengers like Jesus - peace be upon him - , He has angels like the Holy Ghost to deliver His revelations and guidance to his creation, He hears the sound of the steps of a black ant on a bland rock in a dark night, same as He hears the cry of His regretful slave, He is more merciful towards the repent more than his mother. He does not set saints or heathens for people to use when they want to pray. I think a God like this is more worthy than some people who enslaves us and order us to pray for them in order to reach God, this is at least my humble point of view.
     
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  18. MadJackMcMad

    MadJackMcMad Fapstronaut

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    My Muslim friend, I really don't understand who are these people enslaving us Christians and ordering us to pray for them.
    And I wonder if you use some critical thinking about your religion as well, or if you hold tight onto your book and follow it without asking any questions.
    Anyway, I wish you all the best for your reboot
     
  19. Arms.R.heavy

    Arms.R.heavy Fapstronaut

    @Apothecarist your post can be misunderstood as disrespectful to our Christian brothers, this might not be the right way to preach. One could say this is not the right place to preach.
    @MadJackMcMad forgive him, he means no disrespect.
     
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  20. MadJackMcMad

    MadJackMcMad Fapstronaut

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    No problem, and yes, I guess this is not the right place for debating. And I also got carried a bit
     
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