Roleplay

No, you make MO die

 

Hey bro. I can relate in a way. While I never quite got into MMORPG's in a big way, in the past (highschool) I did play an unhealthy amount of video games (css, tf2) and sex chat online where I would roleplay. I grew out of video games to the point where I don't play them anymore but I have revisited the online chat during relapses in the more recent past.

This is just my observation after all these years: I think they both stem out of lack in the real world. I played endless amounts of video games because I had barely any real life friends or skills, both of which online video games provided me in abundance. If I had those in real life I'm not sure I'd have been so drawn to video games. While I think they have value today my life is so much more busy and complex and interesting than any video game could be. They no longer interest me.

Sex role play chat stemmed from the fact that I could not live out my sexual desires in person, so I needed a place where someone would validate them and treat me like I think I should be treated. I haven't entirely moved on from this, so I'm not a qualified source to say how to beat it. But I do know the appeal, of something you can't get in the real world, you can be anything you want and not have to worry about the discomforts of your own life.

Anyways good luck bro. If I could make any suggestion it would be fill your life with real things that accept you and give you validation. It worked for me so far and I will continue to up my commitment in that department for the rest of my life. The acceptance that comes from video games and online RP is false and fleeting. Just like PMO.

 

Just one day at a time and sometimes one minute at a time, you can do it though. Stay busy in doing something positive in your life and/or the life of others. Especially loved ones, the ones that TRULY care about YOU.

 

Relate? Well, maybe not to the alcoholic father bit, though perhaps to an extent.

But my porn habit was relatively manageable exactly until I got into online, text based role-playing. It was there that I developed, nuanced, fed, bigged up and firmed up certain kinds of hyper-stimuli that then, over time, started to have the kinds of negative effects that this website explains porn has, such as PIED. It was through role-playing, which was initially a great escape and an amazing solace, that I got de-sensitised to almost anything even resembling normal, loving sex. There's that really powerful, compensating, wish-fulfilling, magical sort of quality to roleplaying. Role-playing with a decent enough player is almost like having porn custom made for you. I think *that's* how I got into trouble. Mainstream porn was stuff I was never massively into, but the ERP world kept producing the equivalent by my personal heroin, in a very pure form. I'm still trying to wrap my head around what kind of erotica (literature) I can have in my life, and what, even after my challenge, will remain a risk or be for ever something with damaging effects. That's the problem with escapism. One day, you find yourself away from your life, watching it, as if from distance, neglected and in ruins at least that's how I feel right now, anyway.

 

Don’t do it brother
Remember how bad it feels after

 

As soon as I figure out how to do that on this forum, mate

I've been involved with erotic RPing for over a decade myself, and I think it's had a bad effect overall. But due to the escapist, compensatory role, it has that annoying quality of "filling gaps" or evening out downs in real life. The shittier life gets, the more RPing seems to fix it. Problem is, that illusory compensation tends to lead to NOT fixing the real issues, not engaging with real stuff, not making real effort (or less of it), and ultimately becoming *almost* unable to.