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Romantic feelings towards porn actresses

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by Deleted Account, May 22, 2018.

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  1. Recently I had feelings of romance towards more than one porn actress. I got the feeling that I was in love with her whiles feeling sexual about her. I saw her as someone more than I used her to get myself off. I started to see her as someone I truely cared for and felt like watching her porn clips for an entirely different reason but I didn’t do that as I felt that it would affect the rebooting process.

    Has anyone been in this situation. I think that such feelings are like a backdoor to relapsing.
     
    MasterRoshi and Immature like this.
  2. Hey, my pmo usage was also a varying thing. Sometimes it was just to 'release stress/tension', but when I abstained longer, and did pmo again, I felt like I desired to not only have a quicky with a porn actress, but more a whole kissing/intimate/sex happening (fapped way longer duration in these kind of sessions lol). I think the latter is more healthy then the first example, however, i realize now, that in the end, doing pmo is just a waste of something which should not be wasted (not only the seed in the physical sense, but everything that goes along with it, male energy, motivation, high standards etc.), and by doing pmo i would just be fooling myself... the good thing is that i believe nofap contributes to a more healthy lifestyle, with better chances of real improvements (still gotta do the work ofc), real romances and such :). Grtz!
     
    MikeM444, Immature and Paranimmita like this.
  3. I think I fell in love with this German porn actress. I wish that I could make her mine. I don’t know whether this is because I am looking at her as a person rather than an object to get myself off.

    The is also another milf which I have very strong feelings towards and she also happens to be German.
     
  4. Headspace

    Headspace Fapstronaut

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    But you don't know her as a person. You only know the face she is showing to you in P, which is the object to get yourself off. Thus, it is all in your imagination, and what you are creating in your mind is a huge dreamy bubble that will burst the more painfully the bigger you make it.
     
  5. andyandy7

    andyandy7 Fapstronaut

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    Keep it together my friend. Edging, however it is, ends up relapsing. But don't be. You have the control, your thoughts are not you, they're just thoughts, thoughts will pass, yet you stayed you.
     
    Paranimmita likes this.
  6. bassist_car_guy

    bassist_car_guy Fapstronaut

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    Yep, Emily Grey was mine. I preferred to watch her by herself. Only thing I can suggest to you is to stop watching it and try to forget about it. It's completely normal for any heterosexual male to be attracted to a female, but to fall in love with them even though you've never even met them is something else entirely.
     
    Immature likes this.
  7. 333

    333 Fapstronaut

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    Meanwhile... If you could actually spend a week with her, you'd probably be completely disgusted, repulsed, and turmed off by the end of it. I only say this, because I went through it...

    When I was young, I had a terrible habit of projecting all of my highest values and ideals onto any woman I found myself attracted to (or intrigued by). I did it with a dominatrix I was seeing, ten years ago. And I can now say, in retrospect, that she was one of the craziest, most unstable, and degraded people I've ever known as long as I've been alive...

    I also did this with ballerinas (as a group of people). But now I can say, after working with them for 12 years... that they are neurotic, group-thinking, goldfish that would drive me up a wall if I had to live in their world.

    Simply put... You're projecting your own ideals onto a stranger and falling in love with your mind's creation.
     
    Last edited: May 28, 2018
    Immature likes this.
  8. This is classic Porn Brain™ stuff - see this thread here: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.p...ys-or-pathetic-things-the-addict-says.150682/

    Your brain is desperately trying to get its fix, and will put all sorts of crazy notions into your mind. Of course, it could also be that you bonded with her image if you orgasmed enough while watching her - that doesn't make it any more real.

    Yes, it would certainly have done that! Good job on keeping up the fight.
     
  9. "It's always tempting to impute
    Unlikely virtues to the cute"
    - P. J. O’Rourke about the Kennedys
     
  10. 333

    333 Fapstronaut

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    lol, so true.:D
     
    Immature likes this.
  11. MikeM444

    MikeM444 Fapstronaut

    I've experienced something similar, not to the degree of "falling in love", but whenever I found a pornstar that hit every specific physical feature I could only dream of (especially in the face, I'm a sucker for a pretty face), it did make me border-line obsessed for a bit. I'd only look up porn of that actress. It was a mix of arousing and depressing. It was hot in a special way, but it made me feel like a complete loser that couldn't get a woman half as amazing (physically) as her.

    That's the thing about porn, it feels "right" or relieving, but really it's just taking further steps back from ever achieving what you want.
     
    Immature likes this.
  12. MikeM444

    MikeM444 Fapstronaut

    This is why men should never be intimidated by pretty women, at the end of the day they're bags of bone and skin, and many are probably almost as average as the dudes that drool over them, but there were a small handful that still looked fairly decent without the warpaint.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  13. makeup == "fakeup"
     
  14. John Lee Smith

    John Lee Smith Fapstronaut

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    I guess it is natural to feel in love with someone whom you watch.
    I did fell in love with porn actress in my early 20s.
    This feeling won’t stay forever.
    Try finding real love in life.
     
  15. I met two porn stars who also escorted on the side and I can say is this. First of all they don’t behave and act like their porn scenes. It is very disappointing. Actual sex is nothing like what you see in porn as porn sex is uncomfortable and ridiculous. Second without those make up artist involved you are somewhat repulsed when you meet a porn star in person. Remember some of the scenes you saw are probably a few years old and when you do meet a porn star there are some years added to her and you are going to notice when the special angles of filming and make up are taken away.
     
    Immature likes this.
  16. Right, they're not always shouting "Fuck me! Fuck me harder!" There was a star in the 80s or 90s that said that with a thick New Jersey accent - it was one of her trademarks - so it was more like "hahduh", LOL.

    See also: This News story [Link].

    Yeah, Jenna Jameson wrote about all the painful contortions needed - apparently the natural positions just don't make for good porn.
    And that's not even mentioning the anal and the deep throat. I was totally disgusted to see one woman barf from deep throat - I was amazed that they kept that in and that she kept going.

    Yes, there's a porn star I've seen advertising as an escort and I was tempted. She looks so cute in the videos - but we've been through that already.
     
  17. MasterRoshi

    MasterRoshi Fapstronaut

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    YEP. I can totally relate to this. I really started to like her personality (or the one I created for her) and the. Followed on instagram. Not sure why, but I guess it’s human nature to want to be romantic and share intimacy with someone beyond just sex. So choosing a virtual mate helps us fulfill this need yet with a fake person, and it further creates the separation and lonilenss that porn causes.

    I totally forgot about this until you mentioned :) thanks for the unique post!
     
    Immature likes this.
  18. _Xavier_

    _Xavier_ Fapstronaut

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    If you want to know what love really is, read the book Real Time Relationships in my signature. Not to say that you can't mentally attach yourself to a woman or an idea, but when you have only seen the woman fucking other men on a screen there is no love there. Zilch. If you redefine love as attachment, it will really make finding love difficult!
     
    Immature likes this.

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