The past few days have been really hard. I am in the "not good enough cycle" and no amount of reassurance is helping. I feel like our relationship is a plate that has been thrown on the ground and shattered to a bunch of pieces. I don't want to pick up every piece and glue it back together. I want a shiny new plate. I want a man who only wants me, admires me, has sex with me, and doesn't ignore me to pretend he is having sex with thousands of others. My husband says he will be that man. But I gave him 15 years. And I feel like he has wrecked me. I was not his "favourite" girl. I want to be someone's favourite.