Amazing post Thor! I think ypubare spot on. @Sadgirl: your husband needs to stop complaining about his trigger finger that hurts (the trigger finger he used to shoot you up with an Uzi..Dr. Weiss reference) Bottom Line: he needs to stop focusing on his own pain/discomfort and focus 100% on your pain and anguish. You know that .. I know that -- how do we get your husband on the same page? You mentioned he still won't admit that he was/is a porn addict...right? If so, he is still in serious denial. And I think that isnpart of the problem. Has he watched the 'Help Her Heal' videos by Dr. Weiss??