Saw this after my Oopsie

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by BillyBobBoBoBo, Oct 25, 2021.

  1. So broke my streak today (25/10/2021) As of feeling stressed and having thought that bothered me throughout the day, which caused me to PMO after getting back from work near 2 am. Was feeling really down by it, but saw this and made me think more in perspective of things;

    I've haven't PMO for 28 days, so I went for longer then I normally and shouldn't feel too discouraged about it just keep going and make sure to keep it going longer than I did before, not use it as an excuse to binge it & not be too harsh in myself.
     
  2. learning

    learning Fapstronaut

    Thanks, that is very interesting.

    I wonder if somebody skilled with web applications could make a calendar where each Fapstronaut could mark the "oopsie" days and get an instant performance calculations of various kinds?
     
  3. Well what I plan to do from the 1st November 2021 to 31st of December 2022, which in total of 426 days, I will mark how many times I pmo'd out of those days & hope to keep it very low to the number of days. I'd set it up as this;
    Number of times I pmo/426
    Though i will include if I've done it multiple times.

    Does this make sense?
     
    learning likes this.
  4. I_Am_Strong_54

    I_Am_Strong_54 Fapstronaut

    169
    296
    63
    I like this idea and have been following a similar method since August. I've been addicted to porn for 30+ years and after failing many times to quit, I would feel bad about myself and think the streak was a total waste of time. I started in August with the goal to keep a positive mindset. Every morning I look in the mirror and say 3-5 good things to start my day off with a positive attitude. I also applied the positive logic to my need to quit porn. In August I PMO'd 4 times and normally I would have beaten myself up after each relapse but instead I decided to look it as I was successful 27 of 31 days in August. Then in September I was successful 29 of 30 days, and so far in October I have been successful 25 of 25 days. I believe using this positive mindset has helped me immensely.
     
  5. Fishn1

    Fishn1 Fapstronaut

    356
    253
    63
    This makes total sense. No one is perfect and we are all different. Trying to stay perfect creates a grand expectation that makes slipping up almost a crime for some of us. Looking at what we are doing in a positive light gives us encouragement that we are making progress. This really clicked for me. It's too easy to get back into fapping again because you feel you're not going to win. I was in some negative self thought this morning and these repetitive thoughts like "I can't win" can bring you down. I said to myself instead, you don't have to "win", you are already ok just the way you are - and that calmed me. It also made me aware of the positive things I've been doing that are at a higher percentage than being not perfect and falling short sometimes. We all do but we need to encourage ourselves.
     
  6. I do this method from jan 2020 but later stopped. This method have a drawback , in actual method we always fear the nofap and avoid it, but wit this method our mind is like, one relapse is no danger and we will relapse. Thats why i stopped doing this method.
     
    BillyBobBoBoBo likes this.
  7. That sounds good. I need to work on saying positive words in the morning, as I've been quite negative on myself lately.

    I was debating with myself to weather on days I've pmo to porn or the times. I'm not sure would be better.
    Though It seems to be working well for you man.
     
  8. Yeah I agree, it's all about having a better mindset when slipping up on things in both nofap and other things. To improve on ourselves but not be harsh about it.
     

  9. That's a fair criticism on this. I'm just thinking if this to not be so harsh on myself when having that whoops moment.
     
    Bodhidharman likes this.
  10. I_Am_Strong_54

    I_Am_Strong_54 Fapstronaut

    169
    296
    63
    I would track both the number of days and number of times. I think that info might be helpful because it'll show you a trend on the number of days and if you binge it with multiple PMO sessions or just one and done for the day.
     
    SurudRump and BillyBobBoBoBo like this.
  11. learning

    learning Fapstronaut

    sounds reasonable to me. :)
     
    SurudRump and BillyBobBoBoBo like this.
  12. Well I'm setting it up like this in my notes

    Days

    /426

    How many times
     
    learning and SurudRump like this.
  13. SurudRump

    SurudRump New Fapstronaut

    2
    2
    3
    You are a lucky person that saw this
     
    BillyBobBoBoBo likes this.
  14. MindfulWarrior

    MindfulWarrior Fapstronaut

    I think that's a pretty positive approach, especially for those who may have been using PMO more intensely and can't quit it all at once as easily. Quantifying progress rather than all or nothing: "Last month/year I did 50%, and now I'm at 75%, let's try 85% next!" seems much more achievable. There actually was a woman using this method, she shared her Google Sheet publicly and it was quite neat, you could see how much progress she had made over the years, pretty good. She also differentiated between PMO and MO using two different colors. So you could use Google Sheet, I personally track some of my habits with "Habit - Daily tracker" on iPhone and it's pretty handy, you just tick or don't tick the days and you can look at the past months/years to see how you did.

    I think there are a few things that needs to be addressed before starting the time period whether it is a month or a year.

    What is your goal? Is it to avoid just porn or PMO completely? Or maybe the emphasis is on porn and you would like to stop masturbating too but it's not as high a priority. So it could go like this:

    PMO = 1 slip up.
    MO = 0, 0.5 or 1 depending on how important it is for you to avoid it if at all.

    Also you definitely need to count one session as 1 slip up and not one day as a slip up because you may find the excuse to binge the whole day, same issue as the streak-based system. Or you could even base it on a duration like 1 hour session = 1 slip up so you don't edge for hours if edging is something you tend to do because you know it will only count as 1 slip up. Maybe I'm going too far but you need to think about what you want before starting so that you don't change the rules to your convenience afterwards lol.
     
    BillyBobBoBoBo likes this.
  15. How so?
     
  16. This all sounds good and something to consider. I guess my goal is to just stop watching porn and masturbating to it all together and to focus on just having sex with my girlfriend. To better focus on my productivity and being more passionate with her.
     
    MindfulWarrior likes this.
  17. Batty Belfry

    Batty Belfry Fapstronaut

    116
    912
    93
    I would calculate percentage out of 365 days. Each year could be documented as well as each day of that year. Noting the feelings and happenings of that day and year could add more perspective for yourself. Having a personal timeline like this can be motivating and enlightening.
     
    BillyBobBoBoBo likes this.
  18. Yeah that sounds good. Though admittedly that will be hard for me to document every day at the start, but sure I'll get the hang of it.
     
    Batty Belfry likes this.
  19. Batty Belfry

    Batty Belfry Fapstronaut

    116
    912
    93
    Compartmentalizing a year is definitely a task, but it doesn't have to be too critical either. A short reflection for each day could be tedious or just a guideline; it's not everyday you find something worth documenting. I would journal in code or shorthand to keep it strategic but still personal.
     
    BillyBobBoBoBo likes this.
  20. MindfulWarrior

    MindfulWarrior Fapstronaut

    Yes it's quite easy, the most important part is making it a ritual, doing it everyday at the same time, after a few days it's just something you do. Some days you rant because you have to put some thoughts on paper, other days it's just three words. It doesn't have to be beautiful or meaningful most days, it's just a tool to reflect, have some accountability, analyze, vent.
     
    BillyBobBoBoBo likes this.

Share This Page