scantily dressed women

[Deleted Account]

what do you guys do when you come across a scantily dressed attractive woman ? the natural impulse is to look at her ( or perhaps even stare ). and looking at her is not the same as porn but somehow it does not feel right. the dopamine rush is quite strong and it becomes even stronger if she also shows interest. perhaps looking at or talking to such girls / women should be avoided during the reboot. what do you think ?

 

[Vedas_fr]

I think that you will not be able to abstain if you start flirting with attractive girls. The real question is what do you want? I ask this question to myself quite often, more often there is no clear answers, sometimes there is. Right now i know a relationship would not work for me.
If you find a good looking friendly girl then make babies go ahead , or don't if you want to work on yourself and get a grip on life. Just don't fool yoursef into believing you can chase 2 rabbits at the same time.

 

[Deleted Account]

Ultimately what turns every guy on is different, so take my advice with that understanding.

For me, one of the healthiest things I did was begin going to yoga. For many (prob most) guys, that's just impossible. I've always had particular fetishes and seeing a girl in yoga pants actually didn't really anything for me. So it was and continues to be a safe place for me.

One of the important things to keep in mind when dealing with looking at women isn't necessarily whether or not you should look at them, but what you are doing inside with your mind. You don't want to get into a position where looking at women becomes taboo and you avert your eyes instantly when you see someone/something you are attracted to. That's not healthy or productive. And obviously, you don't want to linger or ogle them as objects/body parts. You need to work on finding that special place of observing which is healthy and respectful. Women don't mind you admiring them, but there is a time limit where admiring becomes lecherous. Think about, let's say, you have a little bit of a gut. If a woman glanced at it, you probably wouldn't think much about it. But if they couldn't take their eyes off of it, you'd become very self-conscious and uneasy.

the natural impulse is to look at her ( or perhaps even stare )

So you used two words: look and stare. There's your difference.

Try practicing it wherever you are today. Pick a cup, or a chair, or a piece of paper. Try looking at it for just a couple of seconds to take it in, then move your eyes away and feel an appreciation for the shape of that object. It might seem a little simple, but it can help you give you some practice for when you are in public and are faced with things much more tantalizing.

As far as whether you should talk to them or not: Just make 100% sure you are talking to them on a REAL level and not through the unhealthy place of your addiction. Personally, I wouldn't date until I honestly had my issue under complete control. Dating while you are addicted probably won't lead to any good place for any partner involved.