Second time : 21 days experience so far, married guy

tosuperconscious

New Fapstronaut
Hi all,

I wanted to share my experience after 21 days mainly for two reasons:
1. I want to connect and stay in touch with this community
2. I want to help others going through the same journey

Background:
I am 30 and married .But I am travelling to another country for business reasons.This is the time when your body is sex starved and mind gets more temptations.
When did i start and the decision making moment : I consciously started tracking this since 21 days ago.Because there was a point when after a long time i was tempted to watch - I watched porn (live cam)and masturbated not once but twice back to back.I felt a big drain of mental energy after that.I realized fapping in 30s is a bit different than in teens ! Thats when I got realization that ," hey I have overcome this urge long time back successfully- after marriage I forgot about it"

My previous success story : 2 years back i had successfully completed 6 months NoFap and it was an immensely rewarding period.I learnt many powerful meditation and exercise forms during that period and I got an amazingly rewarding new job by cracking tough interviews.

Why and when I relapsed - I relapsed when I had a breakup after 5 long years of a relationship during that period and took me few months to come out of it . Later after 1 + year I married another girl and my relationship is on the happy side.

Why today ?-
Because yesterday and today my brain really had this urge for sex.I started walking around the streets and looking out for erotic spa massages like a mad dog.Luckily i did not give in. I am back in the hotel feeling happy that nothing happened.But I was surprised how the sexual energy can take over you unless you are conscious.I walked for many miles with these thoughts of meeting a girl.I tried to justify thinking i will still have a sensual massage without ejaculation.All these are tricks that the mind plays with you to drive you to sex. Thats why I say it is a lucky day because this was the day where I lost control for few hours ? And thats why I felt that i need to strengthen my will.One step is to share what is going on in my mind in the right forum.
The experience: It started from yesterday ,the brain was all heated up. I started researching on areas and places to get a erotic massage. One great tool that helped me during the process was the NFP app.It gave me motivation and I felt there is a community that shouts to you " Bro ,dont give up" and that really helped.

The benefits so far: I have already started to realise the energy back again.

1. I feel energetic to work ,program for hours and never feeling tired.
2.I started talking fearless and confident to ladies.I am having good topics to converse.
3.I naturally choosing good food
4. I have started reading books that reflect the purpose of like : Like living with authenticity, Lovedare etc.
If you are married or in a relationship I recommend love dare book to you .

Going forward: I will celebrate on day 25 and I am sure I will be able to better handle random thoughts going forward with NFP app and inspiration from the community !
 
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After the "super smoke in ur brain day " Today i woke up with more energy at 4.30 am. i took a early morning trip to a historic site which was like a trekking.
What i noticed in myself:
1.Felt super easy to socialize :
I made friends with 3 people and talked a lot about their life.I noticed 2 teenage girls constantly smiling and feeling comfortable to talk to me without any effort.(probably i am of asian origin,dont know why :))
3.had interesting talks on nuclear physics,photography with fellow travelers.
4.started initiating and talked to 3 strange women in much better/interesting ways
5.felt the urge again a but to go to massage or strip clibs as i could see them on my way.Debated with myself and almost gave in on massage but luckily nofap app came to rescue agaon:)
Saw a Strip club on the way but i discarded because by that time i was in super control and had a cool mind.
Just reflected on the fact that no female beautiful body can give me the real happiness i am looking for. i felt the creative energy i am experiencing without that is much more amazing and pleasureable.
Line that inspiree me the most: "Why pay a lady x amount for few minutes of pleasure,rather think what if you spend that money on yourself and trade for a better super sustainable happiness"
I wondered how much misely i was in buying great books that i always wanted to read but avoided as they were way expensive.But when i paused and compared to what i am willing to offer to the body of a lady versus to the mind of a great author..i could make a clear choice !

End decision: i am potentially using that money to buy some awesome books that can give a feast to my mind and may be invest the rest in signing up to learn some new skills! (Quite a lot i can buy with the same amount of money :))

Bye friends .Have a great nofap day!!
Reaching confidently to Day 25 !!
 
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