Secular Redemption

I have no one to blame but myself. My problems were not caused by god, satan, or any other supernatural entity that somehow took control. On the same thought, my problems were not caused by my troubled first marriage. The porn and behaviors I waded into are on me.

I'm struggling with forgiving myself and dealing with the guilt and shame. I always thought religious "forgiveness" was a cop-out; a quick and easy wave of the hand and everything is now ok.

All I can do is try to be a better person for me and be a better influence to my family and friends. I hope I can let go of the guilt and shame as I improve.

 

Best way to forgive yourself for the past is to live today your best life and make progress towards becoming the best person you can be.

 

From the things I have been learning during my current deconstructing/ deconverting process is that much( if not most) of that constant guilt and shame stems from religion's overbearing grip on our daily thought process. Western culture has been deeply saturated in religious ( particularly Christian) thought and ideas. So for me, the best way to combat that is to start unlearning those ideas and thought patterns. I read and watch material that helps me to understand Christianity's impact on human life, how it has harmed society, and altered society in its various ways. Simply put, knowledge is part of the key for me. Diving into your own personal history, especially with family dynamics, and the ways religion has possibly played roles in shaping it has also been of huge benefit. Knowledge of one's self can have a huge fundamental impact toward change.