Seeing a video or image of nudity (not explicit sex/porn) and closing away... Does it count as PMO?

Discussion in 'Abstinence, Retention, and Sexual Transmutation' started by DudeWithHope, Nov 3, 2019.

  1. DudeWithHope

    DudeWithHope Fapstronaut

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    A few days ago I watched these videos of this woman dancing or sensually exposing her self but not explicitly although parts were very briefly shown. I really had the urge to MO but I closed away and didn't MO, but does that count as P and should I reset my counter?

    today the same happened. while searching something up, something led to something else and there was I watching this sensual video, parts were shown, some fake hand touching in genitalia and I closed it away... this a few minutes ago. I had the urge to MO but closed away and am not all interested in PMO and just carrying on with my day... do these occasion count as PMO and the counter needs to be reset?

    Would love to hear some opinions. It is true that there was no porn and that I had an urge to M, but both times i just closed away and felt like nothing had happened and carried on. Let me know what you think.
     
  2. Jack1211

    Jack1211 Fapstronaut

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    Look i personaly could look at nudes as a normal ordinary thing... Nude children... Nude men.... Nude women... Nude old people.... Its the way we was created by our god.... He didn't create us with mailitry uniforms! But he created us naked... On his image...
     
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  3. PeskyAlien

    PeskyAlien Fapstronaut

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    You are doing well. You need some more time to get experienced and empowered.

    Men's sexual response is far faster than women's. BC women need to choose carefully with whom they will have offspring. Unlike men who can father an offspring with numerous women (offcourse, if he is so ""lucky""). And become father at old age.

    Women can bear children till they are something above 40 year old. And it is very risky for them to bear a child this late. Men only need to sprinkle the sperm. So it takes 14 or 15 minutes for women to get sexually aroused, while men need only two minute. Women aren't sexually aroused by nude image as easily as men are.

    I have put the word lucky under "" signs. Because I don't know what is so lucky being born in precious human form and use inteligence, power of reason, only to seduce and fertilize far more than one woman.
     
    Last edited: Nov 3, 2019
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  4. TigerKing

    TigerKing Fapstronaut

    If you care about counting days, then I count it if you deliberatly seeked it out. Your intention was to briefly look at sensual imagery to stimualte your mind and body.
     
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  5. Hmmm, i accidentally wrote longer post than meant to, hopefully it didn't stretch too far from the topic :D

    Shouldn't that be taken as training? I mean, muscle does not build without stimulation. You see something, then you refrain, and your brain learn this behavior. You just need to remember the muscle-building rule: increase weight when you have accustomed, which in this case mean, less viewing :D

    Well, more seriously. These are only my views:

    It wasn't porn if it wasn't naked (genitals especially) and lusty. Then no need to reset anything. However, you mentioned genitals were visible i understood, so i would count it probably as porn, mild porn.

    If you intentionally searched for pleasure, you need to think of your own standards.

    But i think no PMO means generally the sequence: 1. Porn -> 2. Masturbation -> 3. Orgasm

    If you didn't go through these all, then you didn't violate the "rules".

    Viewing Porn and saturating your mind with that and enjoying arousal it produces.
    It is bad for your development.

    But, I don't know.... The most important is however, you don't Masturbate and Orgasm because of Porn.

    Edging + Porn is also bad for your development.

    MO without Porn-relation, i wouldn't think it bad if not binging. And it would be again depending on one's own standards whether reseting counter or not.

    And, like i tried to joke in the beginning, actually seeing something, and not going further, it could actually develop you, if you just know the limits.

    And these days, it is challenging to avoid anything arousing. You need to live in isolation from this world to avoid being exposed to the self-pleasure, sensual or even pornish/spicy stuff which is all over the media.

    Anyways, we are sexual beings, it is natural to feel attracted, aroused, and wanting to copulate. Just it is good to know what isn't anymore natural, good for you...

    And i agree with Jack:

    Nudity does not need to mean same as porn and lust. Though i'm not sure is our mordern culture caused us to be brain-washed or is it really that every bit of nudity has more or less little sexual tension, or, copulation related checking at least? It could be automated born-in behaviour.

    However, we also know that it does not need to be just porn or naked body to feel aroused althought these people are in minority who gets their arousal from somewhere else.

    I don't think there is anything bad to appreciate something what is beautiful in one's eyes. Just knowing the limits. Not letting be addicted and so.
    ........................
    I myself has standards in my counter: no porn, which means i try not to look porn because of search for pleasure, viewing for other reasons is fine but it must be not for searching for pleasure, so generally there is almost zero reasons to view porn. If i see accidentally porn (or related) and get aroused, it is fine – if i don't intentionally prolonge the exposure for pleasure.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 3, 2019
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  6. Paraeinstein

    Paraeinstein Fapstronaut

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    Hi DudeWithHope,

    Your exposure to such material does not classify as P however it is considered to be P-sub (porn-substitute)

    You don't have to reset your counter, because you only have to reset if you have either M or M with O. So you are fine.

    A P-sub (porn substitute) is something which is not classified as pornographic but which can trigger arousal within someone to create urges. The problem with this is that it can compromise one's reboot where either the reboot will end in failure or the total time required for a reboot will be prolonged in duration. P-sub can also be a backdoor to one accessing P later on.

    A big issue with this is that while P can be clearly defined, P-sub cannot. P-sub can also vary from one individual to another. What is sexually triggering for one person outside of porn may be completely innocuous to another.

    Here is a list of P-subs (even though not exhaustive) -
    • educational videos with nudity
    • educational videos about sex
    • music videos with sexy models
    • belly dancing
    • twerking/grinding videos
    • pole dancing videos
    • erotic stories (novels and podcasts)
    • films about sex
    • films with sex scenes
    • songs about sex
    • songs with sexual vulgar slang
    • videos of clinical examination of female genitalia or breasts
    • textbooks on female sexual health (especially textbooks with pictures/photos)
    • videos on massage (where there is female involved)
    • dating apps/dating websites
    • photos of girls/women in social media
    • exercise videos featuring girls/women
    • yoga videos which show girls/women
    • aerobics videos with girls/women
    • songs by female artists
    • songs which contain themes such as love
    • watching certain types of sports played by girls/women (such as tennis with female players)
    • supermodel shows/catwalks
    • beauty magazines/women's magazines
    • men's magazines which have female models
    • the news which shows female anchors
    • shows on television/Netflix which have beautiful and attractive girls/women
    • seeing photos or videos of women who are in bikinis/monokinis
    • seeing photos/videos of female topfreedom activists
    • flirting with girls/women
    • hugging and getting kissed by girls/women
    • seeing photos of female naturists
    • watching videos of female naturists
    Therefore as you see, potentially anything can be a P-sub provided that if one is using that to replace their porn which will not help with their reboot. In this day and age, potential triggers tend to be ubiquitous in cyberspace and entertainment. Therefore one needs to be very diligent when using the internet and being alert about early warning signs one's guards in the mind getting lowered or being reckless when surfing the internet.

    As for me, I do cue-exposure therapy on a daily basis, which requires me to briefly expose myself to a trigger and then closing the tab immediately when I see bare skin on the screen. So far I am doing well with this and the reason to do this is that I am convinced that rather than abstaining from P and related triggers it is better to have some brief exposure and then directly look away and modify our habitual response to triggers. I can't recommend this to anyone yet because I myself have not experienced the benefits of this as I started this at the end of last month. I have included a video here that explains the process. But I do have to caution that one needs a very good will power to do this. Also one should not do this when they are tired, feeling drowsy or feeling hungry.

     
    Last edited: Nov 8, 2019
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  7. Amphibian

    Amphibian Fapstronaut

    What counts as a relapse/reset is based on your intention motivation. Relapse first happens in the mind.
     
  8. Hold it in

    Hold it in Fapstronaut

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    I really wouldn't think so. The urge didn't lead you to full on masturbate
     
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  9. PeskyAlien

    PeskyAlien Fapstronaut

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    Brother, you made so extensive list of porn substitution, that it will be very useful. Ween it comes to yoga videos which show girls/women it is absurd how many of girls/women don't dress properly when showing the excercise. We all know that sex sells everything, but did they heard a word like brahmachari, brahmacharya, and similar ones? How can they be so down-to-the-earth, and dress improperly??? With proper dress, I think on dressing wide shirts in order to not show subtly their breasts. I discard all yoga video with girls/women in narrow shirts.
     
    Last edited: Nov 9, 2019
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  10. Paraeinstein

    Paraeinstein Fapstronaut

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    I think it was because a substantial number of women who were into aerobics and gymnastics got into yoga so that subculture including that type of dress code got directly transferred to western circles of yoga. The type of women who were into aerobics during the 60s and 70s did that for a variety of reasons, but mostly because of physical fitness and maintenance of body image. So this same type of motivation remains unchanged among such circles where the purpose of Indian yoga was with the intention of fulfilling these two purposes, but either neglecting or placing less emphasis on the spiritual implications of yoga.

    When practicing yoga it is recommended to either wear loose clothing or be naked, because having spatial awareness including at the level of one's bare skin is an important aspect of yoga. Wearing body-tight clothing tends to block subtle energy currents on the surface level of the body and hinders spatial awareness, so this may pose as resistance or obstacles for obtaining the full benefits of yoga.
     
  11. PeskyAlien

    PeskyAlien Fapstronaut

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    I would like to add to that extensive list one subcategory of sexual education videos. That could be childbirth videos. Because if somebody wants to see woman giving birth, he may come across long sensual introduction, showing woman's eye, nose, face, lips, neck and breasts, in gross plan, so these sections could lead to sexual stimulation. In such a case video can be a porn substitution.

    Of course it isn't, - if a watcher goes straight to childbirth section. Because there is nothing sexy in moaning, crying, overstretching, blood leakage down there, and purple-ish newborn baby who just came down there.
     
    Last edited: Nov 11, 2019
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  12. DudeWithHope

    DudeWithHope Fapstronaut

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    Yes! I do agree with all of you that it was more than just brief. Life is going good with the wife and the upcoming child. Haven't had urges or anything like it in almost two months. My goal? Lifetime!
     
  13. Paraeinstein

    Paraeinstein Fapstronaut

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    As for me I have to be honest that I tend to use P-Sub to get me motivated on rare occasions. Like yesterday, I looked at a fully clothed yet sexually attractive image of an English glamour model. I kept an ice-pack on my scrotum whiles looking at her image so that my energy goes all throughout the body. This I did whiles doing the Wim Hof breathing. I was full of energy and feeling very primal and caveman like. Then soon afterwards I hit the cold shower.

    Usually I feel afraid and have a sense of reluctance before I do a cold shower. But yesterday I was more like “bring it on”.
     
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