Seeing My GFs Hot pics during NoFap journey

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by kara9, Feb 26, 2017.

  1. kara9

    kara9 New Fapstronaut

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    Hi All,

    I am a 24 year old guy and I have started the NoFap journey 6 days back as I am suffering from ED, Insomnia, Sensitive Penis nerves due to over masturbation. I usually dont masturbate to Porn but to hot conversations between me and my long distance gf and the hot pics she sends me. We do had a lot of sex before she had to go for a better job opportunity. I just want to know that during this NoFap journey, is it a relapse if I talk dirty with her or fantazize about our sex encounters or see her hot pics (read naked)). I am not seeing any kind of porn from last 6 months but masturbating a lot
     
  2. kara9

    kara9 New Fapstronaut

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    To add on it.. I masturbated twice a week or thrice a week and very rarely on a daily basis.. and Now I have become very sensitive to sexual talks and I do leak a lot of precum when I talk to or see my gf during a video call session.. This was not the case when we were together having regular sex. Is there something wrong I have done? because I am very worried abt my sexual. health and from the NoFap forum I am realizing that NoFap is not just a journey for sexual well being but to achieve a goal in our life which is hindered by our lifestyle and masturbation porn habits. Please guide me to correct path guys :)
     
  3. PostiveChange1974

    PostiveChange1974 Fapstronaut

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    I don't know the correct answer here.

    Long distance relationships are hard. However, you are being committed to one person, and you are keeping her first in your mind. The activity would seem to be consensual in that she is sending you these pics (hopefully) without you manipulating her to do so. I believe she wants to maintain intimacy with you while you are physically apart. All of these things are difficult, but good.

    That being said, it seems as if you are concerned that it's becoming too much. There is a danger that while you are apart, you start to connect to the 'idea of her' and what you want your relationship to be, rather than who you actually are together. From your post it does sound like you are starting to treat her more like an image/object than a human being.

    If you truly want to stay committed to her, and have the idea that you will be together again in the long run, then you will have to try to find some balance.

    I would encourage you to talk with her, and see what her feelings are. Maybe she can help you decide if it's too much, or if she thinks you are staying connected in the right way. Perhaps you can find a way to slow down, without her feeling ignored.

    (I would say though, no one I know (including myself) has ever been good at making distance relationships work particularly well. They are tough, and you go from happy, to overly worried that they aren't paying attention, to upset at how they worded something, to feeling blah and unexcited because it doesn't feel like they are really there. It's such a range of emotions. Still, the fact that you want to stay committed to someone, even though they aren't there, says something about the value you see in her, and the patience you are willing to exercise to maintain it)
     
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  4. kara9

    kara9 New Fapstronaut

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    Thank You for the Advice Mate :) Its my 7th day of NoFap and I am already experiencing a clear mind :) The main problem for me is the unwanted stress that I take.. I am a healthy guy but due to some work related and personal stress I was not able to sleep properly for around two months and that lead to the problem I mentioned earlier.... seeing her old pics more often and relieving myself to get to sleep. I do share all my problems with my close frnds and gf but stress took the better out of me and I ended up doing more M and my productivity also decreased in office and I was the person everyone wanted to stay away from :) But after NoFap I have started to manage my stress well and getting good night sleep as well. The only concern is Dead D and lot of precum with slight arousal. Is it Normal or my sleeplessness and stress has some bad effect on my body.
     
  5. PostiveChange1974

    PostiveChange1974 Fapstronaut

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    The short answer is that with the pattern you described, there is likely some healing to do, but don't worry, it's very temporary. Masturbation for comfort and relief of stress isn't bad, but when you use it as your only coping tool, and you pursue it until you edge for hours, or complete 2/3 times or more in a row, then you are getting to a place of depletion/exhaustion, there is also a possibility that you were creating bruising and inflamed penile tissue health, by forcing it to work outside it's normal pattern of libido.

    Not entirely sure what you mean by Dead D, but guessing you mean lack of erection, and no immediate response to things you would expect were arousing. This is normal when you are coming out of a PMO addiction. It's called flat line. A flat line can mean emotional or physical impacts you encounter. But it's common when you go from such a high, comfort/stress avoidance driven schedule, to suddenly (almost frighteningly) feel nothing. Its a way for your body to get some down time, and it's important to respect that. Don't try to test yourself, or force it. (It is working, but if you force it right now, you would have to restart your reboot).

    That being said, it's very short lived. Your body just needs time to 'reset its clock'. There are all kinds of processes in your body that need time to catch up, heal, and reset for normal sexual behavior. But... usually within weeks, to months, people see things changing dramatically.

    In fact, many of us go from 'nothing' to having strong urges, because our body kicks back, and suddenly gives us constant erections, and a feeling of 'fullness', and a strong sense of 'now!'. It's important not to give into those urges right away either. (It's the other end of the flatline, things aren't healed and back to normal yet)

    There are no promises in NoFap, but give yourself 30-90 days, and you will be able to tell what's going on with you.
     
  6. IGY

    IGY Guest

    I can understand your plight @kara9. It is tricky because of the distance involved and how you had a lot of sex before. :oops:
    Yes it is. o_O The reason for this is because it is artificial. Your brain needs to heal from artificial overstimulation (which is anything outside of intimacies you have with another person present with you). It means you need to make a big sacrifice (albeit a temporary one). What you have done is only 'wrong' from this respect ^ i.e. artificial overstimulation. Sorry mate.
    All your questions and concerns about your dick, oozing a lot of precum, PIED etc will all resolve themselves when you go for the NoFap challenge. I recommend the hard mode. That means, no porn (including these sexual interactions with your girlfriend), no edging, no masturbation, no cum and no orgasm (if you get wet dreams, that is not a relapse). Good luck! :)
     
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