Seeking advice, week 8 is messing with my relationship

So I would like to ask for some advice...

Just for some context I am a 30 year old male and have been watching porn since age 8.

For the first time in my long 7 years battling against porn I passed day 30 and am currently at day 55, but this week has been so tremendously hard and its starting to mess up my relationship.

My girlfriend (25) and I have been together for a little over 2 months, and suffering from PIED with her was the last push I needed to decide to stick with noFap, I've told her everything and she has been very understanding and patient.

The thing is that I constantly have to travel for work for weeks at a time. The first 2 times I left everything went fine and even tho we were not physically together we were very present and happy... But this third time has been so different, every single second that I am not focused on my work I have my brain flooded with urges to watch porn and fap, I don't even feel aroused, just so overwhelmed, unstable, vulnerable, insecure, I just feel like absolute shit.

Adding to that, I have trouble communicating the negative feelings to my gf, I would say it is because I want to protect her from this nasty part of my mind, but being honest with myself that's only partly true, the reality is that I am scared shitless, completely terrified that this could scare her away. She's everything I've ever dreamed of and more, so remarkable, so fun, so beautiful, and we make a great team together...

We have talked about this and she reassures me that this problem doesn't define me and that she loves me for everything that I truly am, and to be honest that's the warmest feeling I've ever felt in my life, being with her gradually has given me confidence (along with the benefits of sticking with noFap) to live life as the great man that I've always known that I am but haven't allowed myself.

Sadly this week I haven't felt like that, and no matter how hard I want to rely on her love and words I feel like right now all my demons are coming all at once from within my own mind, relentlessly urging me to close myself up to her and mess everything up just so I have a failure excuse to go back to porn. Inside my mind I want to scream so bad and ask her for help, but haven't had the courage so far..

Last night I had a conversation with her, she was mad, so mad with watery eyes that it broke my heart, and she's absolutely right, I haven't truly let her in on this and I keep making decisions for her, cutting her out of the team we are. She told me how tiring it is to have to be constantly digging into my mind to know what I'm thinking or feeling, when I could just talk to her, and that's not fair to her or to our relationship.

I am completely decided to work on all of the issues I mentioned before, and not only for her but for me too, I've come a long way and deserve some peace of mind and happiness, and she deserves a great and strong man by her side to love and support her.

Maybe this lines will go unnoticed, maybe just writing them is the cathartic process I need, but if someone has read this far and has gone through something similar I would GREATLY appreciate any piece of advice you could give me.

Stay strong everyone.

Cheers from México!