Seeking Help! Trying to reboot from sex chats

T

TheOtherABC

Fapstronaut
Hey everyone,

I am writing this to seek help to reboot myself from PMO addiction, and most specifically, side effects to the addiction to sex chats.

I have a long (10 years maybe) history of roleplaying on sex chat platforms. I fapped every time I roleplayed. Over a period of time, my tolerance level increased, and from vanilla sex, I started doing imaginative kinky sex stuff. This transformed me into a submissive man, and I started enjoying imaginative BDSM roleplaying. All was happening in imagination. Over a period of time, my tolerance level increased so high that I have to watch porn for arousal.

Every time I did that, I contemplated ending my life. Why!? Because deep down inside I wanted (and I still want) a woman to love me. And every time I ran towards someone, she ran away from me. Most of them felt that I am less masculine. I never got women despite me living amidst several girls. Perhaps, because I was giving vibes of an utterly worthless and submissive bitch. Sex chat transformed my self into someone who was utterly unlikeable.

However, continuous roleplaying made me almost forgot to know how to interact with a woman in my personal life. Even if I met a woman, I victimize myself. Even if I tried having sex, I failed.

I then took refuge in alcohol, and combination of PMO, sex chat, and alcohol made me utterly depressed. I started having thoughts of committing suicide.

However, cutting the long story short, I came to this site and took a pledge that I will make my living choices better. I took a 90 days challenge of abstaining from PMO, women, Chats, Alcohol etc.

This is my fourth day (My log: https://forum.nofap.com/index.php?threads/one-last-attempt.258764/). I think that I have this tendency to talk to women on facebook and wait for the messages on WhatsApp. I am finding it difficult to move on. My head is not taking these waiting and rejections easily as I've developed this habit of getting things quickly.

There is a craving inside me. I want to put water on that. My neuro patterns are driving me nuts. When I am not getting any replies they want me to relapse. Every time anything goes wrong it wants to relapse. Every time I see a woman I can't get, it wants to relapse.

AND I don't want to relapse because I am 31 (in the next five days I will be 32) and I am tired of this craving....

I know it's my fight, and I have to fight it all by myself - but any suggestions would be helpful...
 
TheOtherABC said:
Hey everyone,

I am writing this to seek help to reboot myself from PMO addiction, and most specifically, side effects to the addiction to sex chats.

I have a long (10 years maybe) history of roleplaying on sex chat platforms. I fapped every time I roleplayed. Over a period of time, my tolerance level increased, and from vanilla sex, I started doing imaginative kinky sex stuff. This transformed me into a submissive man, and I started enjoying imaginative BDSM roleplaying. All was happening in imagination. Over a period of time, my tolerance level increased so high that I have to watch porn for arousal.

Every time I did that, I contemplated ending my life. Why!? Because deep down inside I wanted (and I still want) a woman to love me. And every time I ran towards someone, she ran away from me. Most of them felt that I am less masculine. I never got women despite me living amidst several girls. Perhaps, because I was giving vibes of an utterly worthless and submissive bitch. Sex chat transformed my self into someone who was utterly unlikeable.

However, continuous roleplaying made me almost forgot to know how to interact with a woman in my personal life. Even if I met a woman, I victimize myself. Even if I tried having sex, I failed.

I then took refuge in alcohol, and combination of PMO, sex chat, and alcohol made me utterly depressed. I started having thoughts of committing suicide.

However, cutting the long story short, I came to this site and took a pledge that I will make my living choices better. I took a 90 days challenge of abstaining from PMO, women, Chats, Alcohol etc.

This is my fourth day (My log: https://forum.nofap.com/index.php?threads/one-last-attempt.258764/). I think that I have this tendency to talk to women on facebook and wait for the messages on WhatsApp. I am finding it difficult to move on. My head is not taking these waiting and rejections easily as I've developed this habit of getting things quickly.

There is a craving inside me. I want to put water on that. My neuro patterns are driving me nuts. When I am not getting any replies they want me to relapse. Every time anything goes wrong it wants to relapse. Every time I see a woman I can't get, it wants to relapse.

AND I don't want to relapse because I am 31 (in the next five days I will be 32) and I am tired of this craving....

I know it's my fight, and I have to fight it all by myself - but any suggestions would be helpful...
Click to expand...
Read the Success Stories forum as there are many there that have similar experiences. The good news is that you want to improve.
 
DerSchütze said:
That could make it worse, intensify the fetish.
You should just do nofap, and try to improve your life in other ways.
Click to expand...
Thank you for your suggestion. I was in very bad shape at that time. I can't be a misognyst, that's not me. I was going through something horrible at that time. I will surely take your advice.
 
I I have had a history of pmo for the past years(2018-2011). Each time I completed short streaks(7 to 70 days), I returned to it. And it became worse as my brain couldn't tolerate the abuse. So I I had to do hardmode for 16 months straight till i saw porn again the other day on purpose. Was it worth it? absolutely not!
During these 16 months, I've experienced a lot severe withdrawals, negative emotions, had to quit job due to Post Acute Withdrawals Syndrome(paws). I lost cognitive function, simple tasks became hard to do. I'm not there yet as my addiction was very severe but I make some progress.

Now in your case, I don't know how severe were you but quitting something as porn for so long ain't gonna be easy but it can be done. What helped me achieve 16 months hardmode was staying active in this forum. I've read a lot similar posts concerning my pmo addiction, I offered my suggestions, I researched my symptoms in this forum when they strike and found similar cases.
I've ran into the same problem as you in term of attracting the opposite sex. No matter how hard I tried to get a girlfriend or plan, I failed. I couldn't find what was the problem till I search nofap. I became needy and that push women away even further. Overall i became someone completely different from who i was before the addiction. I used to be friend with a girl before the addiction. She decided to move things further when I was deep addicted, as soon we meet I became anxious asf. And that's turned her off. That was my chance for us to become something but my pmo self blew that shit off.

Tips: If you need something concerning your addiction, you may find it on this forum or you ask.

Good luck on your journey to kick pmo ass man!!!!
 
Freeddom_Taker said:
I I have had a history of pmo for the past years(2018-2011). Each time I completed short streaks(7 to 70 days), I returned to it. And it became worse as my brain couldn't tolerate the abuse. So I I had to do hardmode for 16 months straight till i saw porn again the other day on purpose. Was it worth it? absolutely not!
During these 16 months, I've experienced a lot severe withdrawals, negative emotions, had to quit job due to Post Acute Withdrawals Syndrome(paws). I lost cognitive function, simple tasks became hard to do. I'm not there yet as my addiction was very severe but I make some progress.

Now in your case, I don't know how severe were you but quitting something as porn for so long ain't gonna be easy but it can be done. What helped me achieve 16 months hardmode was staying active in this forum. I've read a lot similar posts concerning my pmo addiction, I offered my suggestions, I researched my symptoms in this forum when they strike and found similar cases.

I've ran into the same problem as you in term of attracting the opposite sex. No matter how hard I tried to get a girlfriend or plan, I failed. I couldn't find what was the problem till I search nofap. I became needy and that push women away even further. Overall i became someone completely different from who i was before the addiction. I used to be friend with a girl before the addiction. She decided to move things further when I was deep addicted, as soon we meet I became anxious asf. And that's turned her off. That was my chance for us to become something but my pmo self blew that shit off.

Tips: If you need something concerning your addiction, you may find it on this forum or you ask.

Good luck on your journey to kick pmo ass man!!!!
Click to expand...


Hello! Thank you so much for the response.

I do not like watching porn (except one specific type - which I will talk about in a minute), my real addiction is sex chats.

I think it was during the early 2000s when my own cousin taught me how to do it in one of those platforms. Then I started going to internet cafes to do it. Things were slow but then, once I entered into my undergrads (which was on computers) things got worse. However, the real shit was yet to arrive. I brought a laptop when I started masters (in 2010, I guess) and it's been 9 straight years since I've been doing this every now and then. Every time I did it, I masturbated. Sometimes, I didn't do it for months, but then sometimes I wasted hours on screen doing that shit. Looking back, I feel all my life I have had sex with computers.

Slowly and steadily, my tolerance level got increased. and I decided to do kinky stuff. The condition became so severe that nothing turned me on except that kink - and then I decided to start watching porn only to ejaculate because only chats were no longer helping me to do this...

I got a beautiful and a super nice and kind Girl Friend, who couldn't excite me, at the age of 30. Had some random sex, with a couple of strangers. Couldn't come! Every time I tried kissing or getting sexual, I came. It's just frustrating... I became depressed and suicidal.

To make the matter worse, I completely forgot how to chat with women in social media. I started treating them with just another sex chat site - demanding quick replies, getting into their pants asap. It never worked. And I think I came across as creep while doing so. This is my biggest challange at the moment. I don't know what to do.

Finally, I decided to come to this platform to be a better person. Don't know what's there in the store with me. But I need to delete PMO, sex chat, social media chats which turn every woman from my life. Any tips!?

Thanks.
 
I had a "dual" addiction, if you will, of P and online chat. I was also addicted to "safe" online chat.

I've made great progress avoiding P. I've barely looked at any this year. Chat is proving tougher to beat, but I've still made a lot of progress there too. I think it's easier to rationalise my way into a chat room. The mind can come up with all kinds of reasons. I still get urges to look at P sometimes, particularly if I've recently chatted online (the addictions feed into each other), but I'm able to resist because to look at P would obviously be a stupid, harmful waste of time etc.

Chat is also a stupid, harmful waste of time, but I sometimes fall for rationalisations like, "There might be someone nice who lives nearby", "Just see if that one user is online" etc.

Tips? Let's see:

  • Delete chat accounts, throwaway email addresses that you may have used for the addiction and so on.
  • Take a break from social media, as much as possible anyway. Don't use dating sites.
  • Avoid lust, basically, as much as possible. Avoid things which encourage lust. Don't stare at women. Look in their eyes only, perhaps (that can still be triggering but it's pretty cool lol)
  • Do hobbies, read, exercise, find other ways to feel good.
  • If you reset, take a shower, distract yourself, but write something about your reset somewhere online (perhaps when other people are around so you're not tempted to use the internet in a bad way). You might not want to write it in your journal just yet, but write it somewhere so it's a form of accountability. Learning not to binge is a very important, and often underrated skill.
  • Keep your phone and internet devices out of your bedroom. I generally used a laptop for my addiction, so I try not to use laptops now as much as possible. I'm typing this at a desktop computer.
 
diaspar said:
I had a "dual" addiction, if you will, of P and online chat. I was also addicted to "safe" online chat.

I've made great progress avoiding P. I've barely looked at any this year. Chat is proving tougher to beat, but I've still made a lot of progress there too. I think it's easier to rationalise my way into a chat room. The mind can come up with all kinds of reasons. I still get urges to look at P sometimes, particularly if I've recently chatted online (the addictions feed into each other), but I'm able to resist because to look at P would obviously be a stupid, harmful waste of time etc.

Chat is also a stupid, harmful waste of time, but I sometimes fall for rationalisations like, "There might be someone nice who lives nearby", "Just see if that one user is online" etc.

Tips? Let's see:

  • Delete chat accounts, throwaway email addresses that you may have used for the addiction and so on.
  • Take a break from social media, as much as possible anyway. Don't use dating sites.
  • Avoid lust, basically, as much as possible. Avoid things which encourage lust. Don't stare at women. Look in their eyes only, perhaps (that can still be triggering but it's pretty cool lol)
  • Do hobbies, read, exercise, find other ways to feel good.
  • If you reset, take a shower, distract yourself, but write something about your reset somewhere online (perhaps when other people are around so you're not tempted to use the internet in a bad way). You might not want to write it in your journal just yet, but write it somewhere so it's a form of accountability. Learning not to binge is a very important, and often underrated skill.
  • Keep your phone and internet devices out of your bedroom. I generally used a laptop for my addiction, so I try not to use laptops now as much as possible. I'm typing this at a desktop computer.
Click to expand...

This is really amazing! Thank you so much for giving me these suggestions. I'm grateful.

I am determined not to do any of those. But, i think you are right, I will soon delete or deactivate all the useless social network platforms. I think my brain has started to recognise the difference between sex chats, and normal chats as I stopped that shit.

It seems, I'm getting to be not interested in talking to women anymore. Though craving is there. I need to make sure that I do not relapse by taking alcohol and all. I am yet to see how my body respond to the spike of anxiety as those are the times when I want to indulge in PMO, sex chat, and alcohol.

Thanks, anyways!
 
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