Self accepting

Poof, not much info there to go on, but I'll give it a try.

Not accepting yourself has as source the feeling of shame. You feel you have done shameful things in your life and you deserve to be punished. Your inner parent (which pretty much may resemble the behaviour of one of your parents) is criticising your inner child severely. It may be neglect in childhood, parents that are not emotionally available (no affectionate displays) or it may be that your parents didn't acknowledge your successes, didn't validate your emotions.

Acceptance comes from trying to dissociate your sense of self from your behaviour and that comes not from berating your inner child for what it feels (shame), but trying to train your inner parent to acknowledge what the inner child feels: afraid, scared, neglected etc.

Sounds easier than done, right? It takes time and introspection to learn to validate your emotions and disconnect them from your sense of self. Journal your emotions (not your thoughts), try every hour to figure out what you feel ("meh" is not a feeling btw).

 

You're not making any sense.

You're saying that you do bad things that makes you hate yourself and you want to change that, but you can't stop doing bad things unless you accept and stop hating yourself first? That sounds immature.

Stop doing bad things that make you hate yourself... THEN you can start feeling better about who you are. Rather than trying to feel good about yourself while still doing bad things.