Self Awareness VS Zombie Land

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by WhiteAppleXy, May 25, 2018.

  1. WhiteAppleXy

    WhiteAppleXy Fapstronaut

    I just finished masturbating again, after watching several clips of the devils video.
    Oh no, I feel dead. I had assured myself that I would practice self love, but yet again, I have betrayed me, right in the dead end.

    Why do I still do shit that I don't want to do? Why can't I just easily stop? I have decided to stop. I taught decisions are powerful? Why can't I stop PM?
    Looking closely, I have decided to stop, but it seems that something betrays me at the death end. This is called pressure. Values are tested in pressures. As some Fapstronaut said, "Commitment and values are not measured when your head is clear. They are measured in the heat of that anxious moment of discomfort." Some call it pressure, I call it 'zombie land' - a place in a person's mind, where by all personal commitments and values are lost in a second for the sniper oriented instant gratification.

    If you are really in NoFap, then you want to really stop this shitty thing. You want to end this mess. You are a way ahead, but not far ahead. The real war lies in the pressurized mind, and not in clear headed decisions.

    Yet again, I have resetted, but not resettled. How then can I just settle without this addiction? Willpower? Decision? Discipline? Time management? Maybe, but this things are easily forgotten in Zombie Land. In Zombie Land, the senses are forgotten, Goals, Visions, Plans, Commitments and Values are blurred. All that matters at the time is to watch some devils video, and fab.

    How do we as a family of anonymous brothers with the same goal in mind, put our values over our lives? Brothers yet unseen, friends yet unknown, people with common goals, soldiers of the same battalion, how can we learn the fine art of escaping Zombie Land?

    Self Awareness. Self awareness is thinking about our thought process. Thinking about our thinking. You talking with thee.
    In Zombie Land, All that matters is feelings. To live a life of feelings is a dangerous game. Who doesn't feel like watching the devils videos? Okay, at least porn addicts.
    To banish ourselves from our feelings, we must learn to control our thoughts process, only when we think about our thinking, can we realign our selves with what Stephen Covey Calls paradigms, based on correct principles.
    This battle is not for the fist but for the mind.
    To escape Zombie Land, we must think about our values and commitments, we must rethink in pressures. We cannot say we are this, if we haven't been tested to be that.
    Zombie Land...a place where our values are lost, to escape, we must not control the pain, but control the sufferings. Let us be tempted and think otherwise, by thinking through the thoughts by deep careful analysis of our taughts

    Keep strength, Love Thyself, Try again.
    One more day, no more porn.
    A day at a time, no more excuses.
     
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  2. Joe1023

    Joe1023 Fapstronaut

    This is a case of power of the mind. Your decision to stay PMO free absolutely MUST take priority over your desire of lust, no exceptions. You have to find tools and resources to help you win this battle!

    - Go to weekly SA meetings and find a sponsor there. To find one near you, go to https://www.sa.org/meetings/

    - Do an internet search for CSAT office in your area (Certified Sexual Addiction Therapist)

    - Get an accountability partner if you don't already have one.

    - Look for help online in the form of literature. There are sexual addiction recovery books, workbooks, self-help books, and other things to help.

    - Start a journal about your recovery.

    - Put safeguards in place to help you stay sober. Think of your weaknesses and eliminate them. Do you take your phone (or any other device) into the bathroom with you and relapse because of it? Then make a rule to never take any electronic device into the bathroom with you, ever. NO EXCEPTIONS. Do you read erotic literature and relapse because of it? Make a rule to never read anything that could ever be found in that section of any bookstore ever.

    In my opinion, this battle CANNOT be won alone without any help. I believe that it is simply foolish to try.
     
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  3. MasterRoshi

    MasterRoshi Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for such a detailed post. This is exactly what I’ve felt many many times. It feels confusing because it is. But luckily there’s a simple answer, you’re a porn addict.

    Will power and self motivation doesn’t work for addicts. We can’t live like a normal person. Take an alcoholic for example. A normal person orders one glass of wine with dinner, only drinks half the glass and leaves. An alcoholic will never ever have this luxury. They must finish the whole glass, then get another full bottle, even if they don’t want to! This is what makes them alcoholic.

    This is also true for a porn addict. We can’t stop when we start, and if for some miracle we do stop, we won’t stay stopped for long (on our own will). Imagine you were able to casually look at one nude picture online for only 1 minute then close your computer/phone say “that was very nice” and walk away without any obsession. Sounds crazy right!! :) well there are people in the world who have little to no desire to act out sexually. Us addicts don’t have this luxury.

    Luckily there’s proven help to break this cycle. It has been working for alcoholics and drug addicts for many many years, and it’s been proven to help porn addicts also.

    It involves some daily maintenance work. It’s an emotional internal fix that we need to do.

    What has helped me is daily meditation, prayer, journaling, rigorous honesty and reaching out to others for help. Also, I started attending add addicts anonymous (which is filled with porn addicts) and started the 12 steps of recovery. I also see a therapist. Not sure this is necessary for everyone, but for me this is what worked. I have 60+ days sober with little to no cravings.

    Depending on how addicted you are you might need to try all of this or none of it.

    Hang in there! Good job reaching out today! And if you need help lmk!
     
    Last edited: May 26, 2018
    WhiteAppleXy likes this.
  4. WhiteAppleXy

    WhiteAppleXy Fapstronaut

    I guess that, that's why I am here, NoFap, has covered all you mentioned. I wouldn't be here, if I wasn't addicted. Recovery is a process, it would require sincerity. That why I am here. It would require time, no quick fixes.
     
  5. WhiteAppleXy

    WhiteAppleXy Fapstronaut

    Thank you for the suggestions, as I said above, there is no quick fix, it would all take time.
    I am into prayers and meditation.
    For all other suggestions, I think NoFap is here for that.
     
    MasterRoshi likes this.
  6. MasterRoshi

    MasterRoshi Fapstronaut

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    Great to here! From my understanding, the actual action of my suggestions is pretty much wide open to interpretation as long as they are done with sincerity.

    For example, I really prefer to journal using a pencil and paper. I don’t find the same thought process when typing on the computer, but many others find computer better for them.

    So you utilizing NoFap for most of the stuff is great! I personally tend to hide behind the internet as a way to not be sincere, but many don’t have my problem :) sounds like you are one of the many.

    Good luck and stay strong and let me know if I can help in any way!
     
    WhiteAppleXy likes this.
  7. WhiteAppleXy

    WhiteAppleXy Fapstronaut

    Thanks strong man. Together, we can!
     
    MasterRoshi likes this.

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