Self Control Problem-can`t control my game playing

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by Bran Cao, Feb 10, 2017.

  1. Bran Cao

    Bran Cao Fapstronaut

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    hi, brothers!
    Recently I am dealing with a problem about self control.
    PMO left me an exhausted body. I feel tried everyday. So I tried to get a good sleep.
    But I usually can`t stop playing cellphone game or just surfing Internet or whatever instead of going to sleep.
    Have you brothers encountered or overcome this kinda problem?
     
  2. force yourself to meditate 20 minutes a day. The situation I am in is that I am around a hundred days pmo free (i dont properly count) and I also work out and take cold showers. I have got to a point where I am craving even more success which I want rapidly. Meditation although hard to start, people have said that is has profound effects when done consistently for a while. People have got to a point where just sitting is their favourite thing to do! So meditation will break the urge for constant stimulation, improve self discipline and much more. Join me on this meditation journey!
     
  3. PostiveChange1974

    PostiveChange1974 Fapstronaut

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    I share your pain. I'm ADHD and have had issues with regulating sleep patterns my entire life.

    This next part will be hypocritical, because even though I know it could work, and does work... I still haven't developed the discipline do this on a regular/permanent basis.

    I've been told constantly.....

    To develop good sleep habits (must haves):
    1. You have to build your sleep deficit. This means that you have to be somehow active in the day, but standing, walking, or some other activity, and you shouldn't counter that effect by 'taking naps' (this is where I fail big time). While adjusting to a new cycle, it is more important to stay awake, than try to recover your sleep outside your sleep hours. (Again no naps).

    2. Watch your stimulant intake. While Cokes/sodas are a very common casual drink, they do contain caffeine. Never take stimulants in later half of the day. Be aware of what/how much you consume during the day. Many people are guilty of too many cups of coffee in the morning, and then not knowing why they can't rest at night. (I've also been told that stimulant use should also be consumed at more or less same time, or not at all. I take medicine for my ADHD, was told that if I don't take it within an hour or two of waking up, then not to take it at all)

    3. Establish a habit by creating a time at which you force yourself into bed. (This needs to be every night) This includes a nightly ritual to prepare for bed at that time. This can include clearing your bed of distractions, your nightly hygiene, drinking some water (or placing water next to the bed), laying out night clothes, etc. Whatever the ritual is, make it the normal and reoccurring thing you do.

    4. Beds are for sleep and sex. (Clear your room of any electronics, distractions, or noises). (Includes leaving your phone out of reach, or in a different room altogether). If you do feel restlessness and can't achieve sleep, then it's important to get up and leave your bed, and go into another room to read or do non-stimulating activities for 30 minutes, (and then return to bed).

    5. Its important not to engage with stimulating activities within 30 minutes to an 1 hour of sleep. (Playing games, answering emails,watching TV, etc). These activities require active participation, which produce alertness (and perhaps stress). There is also a concept about 'blue light' affecting meletonin production. It's the idea that day light contains a quality of light which stops the sleep inducing meletonin production, but many electronics (phone, TV, etc) even passive devices like alarm clocks might have LED's which produce this light disrupting your sleep. They can also produce flashes, tones, and other disruptions that can rouse you during your sleep, disrupting the cycle of REM rest.


    Some additional gotchas (not everyone has these):
    - Alcohol and Cigarettes will reduce the quality of sleep. While Alcohol can produce a relaxed feeling, and some think they must have it to rest, it produces a lighter sleep cycle, where the body is more easily roused, and full restoration effects aren't achieve. Cigarettes lower the overall ability to absorb oxygen content of the body, introduce irritants in the lungs, and introduce cravings. These will all counter the sleep cycle.

    - Sleeping on your side, vs your back, vs your stomach: Sometimes the position you attempt to sleep in, can contribute to lack of restful sleep. You may experiment in forcing yourself to sleep in a different position. (This is some of what sleep study people look for) Sleeping on your back my cause your esophagus to relax/collapse, producing a choking sensation, which rouses you from sleep, disrupting your sleep patterns. Laying on your side, and getting a body pillow to snuggle or balance you in sleep can assist with this. Sleeping on your stomach can place your face in positions where you are restricting air flow producing feelings of suffocation as well, (sounds like no one recommends sleeping on stomach) (Sleeping on your back or side may alleviate this). Sleeping on your side without a body pillow may be causing your sides to become sore, resulting in you rolling over frequently in the night. (a body pillow may assist, but learning to sleep on your back may also resolve it).


    Some ideas to try:
    - an activity tracker with heart rate can show you some interesting data on your sleep. They aren't accurate in truly detecting when you are asleep, or don't give any data about quality, but it's a good cheap way to build awareness of what patterns you have (how many hours in bed, when I'm going to sleep, how often am I getting up). I have a fitbit HR (but there are many). I can see some evidence in my chart for minute to minute heart rate while I'm asleep. If it doesn't drop off (and then back up in REM), but ever increasing cycles.... I didn't have a restful night. (Again heart rate alone means almost nothing to sleep study doctors, but it can be some anecdotal means by which you watch yourself)

    - Never use sleep aids without medical supervision. Most are habit forming, and require a prescription anyway. But even minor things like using Meletonin supplements long term can leave you naturally unable to gain restful sleep. However, I do find when I'm in a new location for travel, especially up in the mountains, I acclimate better if on my first day there, I take some Meletonin to help encourage my natural cycle. (some argue that Meletonin supplements have almost no impact).

    - if you are prone to stress (who isn't) meditation in the morning, or before bed can help deal with those stresses, and has been shown to improve stress levels, and build stronger sleep patters. (Yoga is also a kind of meditation, where you are taxing your body in a prolonged stretching endurance. There have been lots of evidence that if you incorporate that into your daily and weekly routine that you may sleep better with less stress)

    - (this next one will need to be discussed with your doctor) if you take prescription meds you discuss if taking them before bed, instead of in the morning might be more effective. Sometimes, things like allergy medicines taken at night are more effective for helping you achieve restful sleep, than it is to take it in the morning, and only cope with 'the outdoors'. This can't be done for all meds, as many need to be done with the consumption of food, or contain stimulants that would disrupt sleep. (Still, it is helpful to discuss with your doctor what might be possible).
     
  4. NextLevelOfLife

    NextLevelOfLife Fapstronaut

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    If you have steam, delete it, Facebook? delete the app and get an extension to block the news feed, got instagram: delete, Snapchat: delete, phone games: delete and put down the phone and take a look the world
     
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  5. yo sorryfor not replying to this for a while. will read it all tomorrow. gotta go to bed :D
     
  6. What you say about sleep is all pretty much true. I myself sleep on my side and find that it is best. I would recommend you stop taking the ADHD meds just because most prescription pills are not good for your health and mind. I take magnesium which helps sleep (I also take zinc and vitamin D). Another tip is to keep your room cold. Thank you for writing so much btw it was really interesting!:D Have a good day.
     
  7. Bran Cao

    Bran Cao Fapstronaut

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    Thanks dear friend. I have been lazy this days.
    Meditation is linger in the schedule within my mind for a long time. But I dont know how to do it. I have read something about it. It says keeping you calm and quite and focusing on your breath. Is it that?
     
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  8. Bran Cao

    Bran Cao Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for your long respond, for your time and effort goes with it.(I am Chinese. So maybe my expression is not very readable.)I am very grateful! But I am afraid I have to finished it tomorrow. Thank you again.
     
  9. Bran Cao

    Bran Cao Fapstronaut

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    Haha, Thanks! But somehow it seems like a running away from the real problem. I can`t live without touching any potential time consuming activities. I think the problem lies inside my brain cause I usually do thing excessively. Not only the games, also in my work or study. Getting in easily and always need to fight hard to get out.
     
  10. I Free I

    I Free I Guest

    I don't use social media and I can honestly say it's all the worthwhile when your focusing just on "your life" and not anyone else. Meditation,Reading,Writing,Exercising, are all great substitutes for your phone use. Sometimes it takes time to get used to a new routine BUT it can be done ...
     
  11. Pretty much. If you drift off in thoughts as soon as you catch yourself go back to the present.
     
  12. PostiveChange1974

    PostiveChange1974 Fapstronaut

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    Not sound like an advert, but I found a site that let me do 10 free 10 minute daily sessions (no commitment or anything.) Was headspace. I like the guy's voice.

    But honestly, if you think you can brave youtube without triggering, there are tons of meditation vids out there that you can try.

    While some might go into la la land about the spirituality of meditation, the effects are real, and if you can find some with a neutral message to start, I was hooked after the first session. (Still trying to get to the point I do this daily though)
     
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  13. Bran Cao

    Bran Cao Fapstronaut

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    Thanks my friend! I can't find access to YouTube because I am a Chinese and live in China. Some of your word also confused me. As I remembered, 'la la land' is a movie?
     
  14. PostiveChange1974

    PostiveChange1974 Fapstronaut

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    Yes. 'la la land' is a movie. However, it is also a term to describe an imaginary place.

    Forgive me if this offends, but being Chinese you probably are aware of how some talk about 'chi'. I don't know if you believe in 'chi' but I don't, and it's not a concept modern medicine uses. However, you will find meditation instructors, and yoga instructors that often talk about 'chi'. They describe it in such detailed terms, as if they can see 'chi'. I used 'la la land' to describe these people, because I believe they are imagining themselves to see something that can't be seen or proven.

    My original post was to mean that while some instructors go to far into an imagined place where they can see or describe something like 'chi', which can't be proven..... meditation has been proven to have positive effects.

    Hopefully, some of this translates well enough to allow for understanding.
     
  15. Bran Cao

    Bran Cao Fapstronaut

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    many thanks dear friend. There have been many daily affairs besetting me.
    I know what you said about 'chi'. In Chinese words, it writes like this :气.
    As I learned, 'chi' is mostly involved in Chinese traditional kong-fu. But I have no knowledge about meditation and how does it have something to do with 'chi'.
    I am willing to try meditation. At least it is training of your thought, isn`t it ?
    I have already set out to try cold shower starting with just less than twenty seconds.
    how about you? what stage are you in now?
     

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