Self-Hatred as a never ending part of my life

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by brand_new, May 28, 2018.

  1. brand_new

    brand_new Fapstronaut

    I suppose in the most bare language, I hate myself. Not just because of PMO, but i've always had a very low self-image and It just been a part of me for so long. Sometimes its worse than others, and sometimes i can just ignore it, but if i sit in the quiet and really think about it, I cant find very much about myself that is worth anything. I tried to do a self love yoga video today and I quit 10 minutes in because the only thought running through my mind were negative. I don't really feel like I can open up, because even though I knowIm not the only person who feels this way, whenever I talk to anyone about it, they down really know was to say and end up just saying something like: "don't feel like that... you're awesome!" Unfortunately this self-loathing isn't really cured but brushing it off as something I just shouldn't feel.
    Anyways, my point is that these feeling create a self-imposed fence around me that makes me feel isolated and trapped in myself. I've felt this way for as long as I can remember, and I don't really ever see a way out. I don't feel worthy of love or of a relationship. I don't really even have crushes on people that I know I would because i can't imagine a world where anyone could like me romantically. I so desperately desire this type of connection, but I know even if it happened it wouldn't work out because all of these unhealthy feelings would ruin it.
    This desire for romantic love is what drives me to PMO. Its so wrong, but my brain has just connected sex and romantic intimacy and whenever I'm feeling particularly hopeless and alone, I'm driven right back to porn.
    I want to find comfort in my God and let hm wrap me up in his arms and love me. I know he is the God of love, and he loves us with love that is reckless and relentless, and I'm so desperate for that. But I think my insecurities stop me from it because I can't forgive myself for anything so how could he ever love me like that? How could I let myself be loved like that? And how can I table this consuming desire for worldly intimacy?
    Deleted Account likes this.
  2. You might be surprised that many people feel like that at some point in their life, unworthy, self hate etc BUT choose NOT to dwell on it. Instead focus on what you feel are your good points, talent, gifts, no matter how small, and appreciate your achievements, big and small, and never fear of feeling proud (in the good way) of such things, that is how happiness starts. Btw, you are worth every thing and that is a fact!
  3. This has been a life time struggle for me as well. Not being tall enough, not being attractive enough. The things I am starting to realize, is this is something I have been telling myself. Not many people have actually told me this.

    WE are our own worst enemy!
    TheNewPat likes this.
  4. TheNewPat

    TheNewPat Fapstronaut

    Negative self talk is a habit. The more we feed it, the more our brain will spontaneously bring it up again.

    So how do we begin stopping it?

    Yes, brushing it off is a good idea, but its difficult and requires constant attention to your thoughts. When you feel yourseld starting a train of negative self talk, you need to try and lift yourself out of it. Distraction/positive self talk/exercise/eat.

    Another thing is you have to start loving yourself. Really. Love yourself like you would to someone else you cared for. Exercise, eat well, read, dont watch too much tv/video games/pointless stuff, self improve, try new things, get out of your comfort zone.

    Lastly, and most importantly, positive affirmations. These are scientifically proven to help. I am on my phone and not going to try find some sources, but I've read/watched several things showing the positive effect this practice can have on the brain and reducing negative self beliefs.

    Every morning i get up and the first thing i do is sit down with a 10 minute timer that beeps at 5 mins.
    For the first 5 mins i will repeat "i love being confident" the next 5 minutes is " I am completely independent of the good and bad opinions of others".

    I do this every day. Some days it sucks. Some days i spend most of the time hating it and myself, losing my train of thought into self loathing.

    But after a few months, the benefits are real. I cannot express into words how powerful positive affirmations are and the amazing effect they've had on me.

    You may need different ones. Perhaps " i love myself unconditionally" or "i am who i am and thats fine". I dont know. Google it and find some things that resonate with you and dont stop for atleast 2 weeks. If it doesn't work, ill give you the $13.40 in my paypal account.

    I wish you luck and hope you can get through this. Many people dont reach out for help. I can see you are aware and capable of making the changes you want.
    TheTruthIsHidden likes this.
  5. TheTruthIsHidden

    TheTruthIsHidden Fapstronaut

    You have to tell yourself that you are Happy. You are Confident. You are Amazing EVERY SINGLE DAY CONSISTENTLY until your subconscious acts on it, which will be sometime but it will work. Once that happens you will actually become whay you say you are bit you cannot I repeat CANNOT let negative thought about yourself happen.Lastly you have to BELIEVE or It will not work. It is the practice of autosuggestion and it is absolutely real
    Deleted Account and TheNewPat like this.

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