Semen retention (hard mode) and married life, need your help!!!!

Hello amazing community!!! I really need your input on this subject!!! I am very much undecided whether to go no PMO or just no PM.

I started NoFap with an objective of 100 days till our anniversary. Initially it was meant to be hard mode. Then we tried Karezza, well we started off with Karezza but ended up with O.

Here is the experience I described in my reboot Journal (30-39 years).

So that's what I posted a few days ago. Now I'm not too sure anymore. I have been reading about semen retention, and the success stories in here. It all makes a lot of sens to me, and I feel if I don't do hard mode I will be missing out on something and not fully rebooting. But I understand everyones journey is different, maybe for me (or us) hard mode is not the best thing?

Should I keep the plan that I mentioned in my journal? or go back to hard mode? Or what about me giving my wife an orgasm (oral and hands) but me retaining? That would be extra hard mode!!! right? But maybe she could benefit from abstaining from O also?

Thank you all for your feedback!!!

 

Thank you for your response @ANewFocus and @happenstance. You all are making me think, I appreciate that very much!! It's what I want.

I will jot down my thoughts as I go here...

First off I had never hear of seamen retention before getting here a few weeks ago. I have to admit that it dose sound very strange to me. I read about the benefits, and success stories about being more confident and all of that. It sound great, and I say I want in... but I do wonder to what degree it is all true?!?!? And I'm not sure I understand what exactly it means that your supposed to do or not do in relation to PMO...

Is NoFap not synonymous with semen retention(SM)? Am I to understand that SM means you can get aroused (even with P, ?) but not ejaculate/O ? I would really like some clarification as to what SM means.

To answer your question on that quote, my ultimate goal is no PM (ever) and healthy O and sex with my wife. But to get there I really need this reboot and rewiring thing. So, like I said, my initial goal for the reboot was a good 90+ days of no PMO. But then we experienced very healthy sex and O with Karezza, well... not really Karezza because of we did O, but I was like "that was faster than anticipated!" I expected that kind of healthy sex would be possible only after the full 90 days of rebooting. That got me thinking I could change my initial strategy and just not PM.

Yea... but there is the no "PM ever" part of my ultimate goal... which I am definitely not there yet.
No actual P, doing pretty good, but no fantasizing to P in my head and M, still in the heat of battle. Just today I had a huge urge to M while thinking a very specific thought that hit me hard!! Didn't do it. I know the chaser effect is true. I'm too afraid that if I continue with even healthy O I will never fully reboot.

So... I just decided... I'm officially going back to hard mode. But I guess I can still do Karezza (the right way thought, no O) ... to nourish our relationship, which I've damaged enough in the past because of my PM addiction. Also my wife was on board with hard mode, but she was doing it more for me... She will definitely prefer that we keep kareza.

@happenstance Thanks for you no BS approach, I think you are right the problem in addictions is what goes on in the head!! Also, sometimes I think we (me the first) spend too much time thinking and planing and sh*t and not enough getting it done!!

Ok, thanks for reading me this far. I would still like some clarification as to what SM is exactly. thanks.