Sending dick pics to strangers

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by BigBob73, Apr 26, 2022.

  1. BigBob73

    BigBob73 Fapstronaut

    I feel like I'm always addicted to something. I've been weaning myself off the porn and haven't sent any dick pics. I did have a few sexting exchanges with girls on Bumble. Meeting one this week. However I did delete the app. My Match subscription ends first week of June. I actually am not too motivated to date. It's all validation really. If I met a special girl I would be up for it, but I'm not too interested in putting the work in. So I've got this date Thursday, then I'm going to go as dark as I can. I'm running quite well, I'm getting more focused on work. However I'm totally addicted to my cell phone. My goal, be happy and successful in my job, quit porn, get my addiction to dating apps and cell phones sorted and hopefully meet a normal woman to have a mutually great fulfilling relationship with. I wish smart phones hadn't been invented.
    WilliamJ.F. and GeorgeJetson like this.
  2. GeorgeJetson

    GeorgeJetson Fapstronaut

    Seems like a bunch of solid goals. Limiting cell phone usage would likely be paramount to your recovery, especially since it seems to be your primary catalyst to act out.

    This stuff ain't easy...I've been battling it for many, many years. I have an amazing wife, two wonderful kids, a very successful career, and so much more...yet, I still struggle terribly with this addiction.
    i89rt5 likes this.
  3. football81

    football81 Fapstronaut

    I would definitely recommend getting some outside help. Some of what your describing above could lead to major issues, with harrassment and also your employment as you noted earlier. There's not shame in getting help and as soon as you start doing it you should start to feel better. I hope you're OK and please be kind to yourself and seek out some outside help. Counseling or a SAA can be life changing.
  4. Blazey

    Blazey Fapstronaut

    Savage :D But seriously, its crazy how our mind\flesh tries to get its way or another. God bless you man!
    football81 likes this.
  5. BigBob73

    BigBob73 Fapstronaut

    Thanks everyone. I'm doing better. Haven't watched hardly any porn. Still not focused on work but each day getting a little better. Had sex the other night which just came from out of nowhere. Feeling calm and feeling good. However......I expect there to be challenges ahead. Been here before so I know it will come roaring back again
    Nathan4 and football81 like this.
  6. GeorgeJetson

    GeorgeJetson Fapstronaut

    It always comes roaring back. Today I'm remaining extra vigilant for when my addiction decides to sneak up on me. The more prepared I am, the better off I will be. I'm staying connected to this community and praying for my obsession and compulsion to be removed. I am also enjoying being more present with my wife and children...something that doesn't happen when I'm in active addiction. Being sober from my acting out behaviors feels amazing...but I know my addiction is waiting to pounce.
    BigBob73, Nathan4 and football81 like this.
  7. Amphibian

    Amphibian Fapstronaut

    I'll admit I'm skimming some posts in this thread after the OP, but man, homie, if this is a struggle you deal with then ditch the smart phone and get a simple phone ASAP. The consequences of this could be really bad if you continue man; not worth it.
  8. Phoenix Beyond

    Phoenix Beyond Fapstronaut

    Hi man! This is like reading my own problem. This ***ced up addiction materializes through other channels after quitting porn. I sent pictures to get the dopamine high, and it was so addictive I was shaking during sexting. However, I haven't sent to strangers, only women I know. If it does happen now, it's with sexting, which I'm still not comfy or proud of as I'm in a relationship. So I had to tackle this issue big time. And I did, for now. Thank God. I went to a sexual therapist which was a turning point for me. I realized that my primary addiction was not P addiction, but exercise addiction. When I stopped urges to exercise (letting go of being hard on myself and pressure) then the urges for P and sexting stopped. But I believe sexting is just as bad addiction or even worse, not because of there is less brain damage (as with P), but as others have pointed out, it is more risky especially if you send to strangers. However, one does not get the same artificial stimuli as with P. From therapy I know know that sexual and porn addiction are basically the same thing. I highly recommend these videos to make you identify the problem and feel better (please, watch them in the sequence I suggested here):

    (254) Dr. Patrick Carnes, Leading Sex Addiction Expert, Video Interview - YouTube

    (254) Diagnosis and Treatment of Sexual Addiction in the Digital Age - YouTube

    (254) In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts | Dr. Gabor Maté - YouTube

    Also, don't knock yourself down due to what happened in the past. No harm done, just don't continue this from now on. The real root of addiction is self-hatred. We need to do affirmations EVERY day even though we don't like it at first.

    I recommend these videos by Ray Lewis:

    (254) Affirmations for Greatness - YouTube

    (254) The I Am Affirmations - YouTube

    These were recommened for me by my sexual therapist.

    God bless you man. We will get through this! Much love, and remember that you are worthy of love, and valuable!
    Last edited: May 25, 2022
    i89rt5 and (deleted member) like this.
  9. BigBob73

    BigBob73 Fapstronaut

    I haven't sent the random pics for a while now. But I've instead started watching porn daily. Always hotwife stuff. Off one thing and on to another.

    The root is fear of failure in my job. I procrastinate with porn and thus do very little.
  10. Phoenix Beyond

    Phoenix Beyond Fapstronaut

    Get started with affirmations, my friend. Never stop believing in your ability to overcome this
  11. @rm0uR

    @rm0uR Fapstronaut

    I didn't read the story. Only the heading.
    Please don't do that. That's a very bad and unhealthy habit.
  12. BigBob73

    BigBob73 Fapstronaut

    Tell me more?
  13. Hey man, I hope you're doing alright, I just have to ask-- are you looking up P at work? You really don't want to get caught at that. Not only will you get canned, but you'll have to explain what happened in an interview for your next job. It's a no-win scenario. Please reach out to an SAA program, a therapist, someone. No judgement here, I've been where you are-- I know it can feel embarressing and a little shameful, but you get over that hump, and besides which its the only way to end the cycle of shame you're caught up in-- its much better than the alternative of getting outted by a female friend for dick pics, or your boss for looking at P on company time. Stay well.
  14. WilliamJ.F.

    WilliamJ.F. Fapstronaut

    Someone can use your "accidental" photos and legally charge you with sexual harassment or obscenity. Some may even abuse your photos and falsely accuse you of sending them to a child. You could end up on a sex offender registry. You have to be careful. Try finding a safer or healthier substitute.

    You should hate the positive responses more than the negative ones. Remember these are women you either never met or only dated a few times. Some of them could be prostitutes waiting to get your money in exchange for their herpes or hepatitis. Some of them could be undercover with cops, waiting for you to legally slip up. Some of them could now have boyfriends or husbands who get really jealous and angry when they happen to find a picture of your penis in their partner's phone. Trust me: you don't want random boyfriends or husbands hunting you down.
    Women can be quick to prey on a man's finances, especially if he is employed. Once you send a sexual message to a coworker or client, you give them the power to terminate your employment at almost any time under sexual harassment accusations. Even if you legally fight the claim of harassment, you'd likely have to pay lots of money for a good lawyer. And your boss could still fire you whether you win or lose the court case, especially if you damage the image or reputation of his business.
    Last edited: Jul 16, 2022

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