Serious Issues now visible with getting in contact with NOFAP

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by quitbeinglonely, Mar 7, 2019.

  1. quitbeinglonely

    quitbeinglonely New Fapstronaut

    Hello there,
    I am a German law student and I have encountered a great problem.
    Too much fapping (using an onahole, guess its even worse since a hand feels like emery paper.

    No seriously. My life has been very well and I believe and hope I am absolutely getting a turn here since I discovered it quickly. Ever since I went to university with 18 years I felt how lonely I was and that I wanted to have someone. On the same time I came to watch anime and well also came to all of that hentai stuff. Different story, but everywhere are signs that I really need to stop and hopefully starting today. Ive never been really interested in girls, since nobody ever catched my attention or liked me. Also I always think "she's hot - but let it pass, its over in a few seconds". So I never asked a girl out. I am fine with working with girls and so and I can normally talk, but I never know what to do to get past a normal and sometimes boring conversation. I am a really loving man and I really want to find my soulmate - and fapping obviously leads me to nowhere.
    Also my studies: I dont find much motivation to do something besides upcoming exams. But its my fucking future I build up here and law (in the usa seen a bit differently) is on top of the education. The money you can earn is endless and you really have to do everything for it for the final exam (the bar exam is nothing than something to laugh at in comparison to our exam). So I really need 100% of myself.
    Coming to sports: I want to change my body but I can't really find the will to go to the gym. I am a professional MTB Driver, but that's gone too since I don't have the time for training next to university (I still have lots of muscles, but they are slowly fading).
    Besides I enjoy Tennis and lots of other stuff, which also should be good to find new friends and nice girls too.

    What is really alarming, is that I can't finish with having normal sex. At first I am fine and everything is normal, but then the pleasure gets normal and I think of work and so, so I loose my erection (well a condom on the other hand is quite uncomfortable).

    So please, if you have some advise for me or if you are somehow seeing yourself in me, feel free to reply. I would be really happy to get my old and very successful life back.
    (wrote it around 0:00 because of a triggering video I saw)
    I know its the only right way and I hope I can find the force and effort to overcome this miserable time of my life. I really feel so alone and I don't want to live like this anymore. It sucks, it hurts, its a great problem.

    Among depression and burnout its one of the problems modern day kids/teens have. I am 20 now, but nothing is lost yet... I hope. Because not having sex to excite, this is striking.
    thorswrath32 and Kiz Whalifa like this.
  2. Kiz Whalifa

    Kiz Whalifa Fapstronaut

    Welcome, and yes, mass majority of us have been in your shoes. I've suffered from death grip that took me two years to finally acknowledge, and a few months to get rid of. That was in a relationship, and if it's frustrating for you, imagine your significant other's pain. My wife's inability to make me come was the main stressing point of our relationship, and it was all my fault. She mistook it as hers, and the considerable amount of stress caused her to have many health problems. I don't deserve her. Well, enough of that story, and I commend you for taking steps forward at bettering your life. You're in the right place.
  3. I always admire people at your age who recognise the pitfalls of PMO. I'm 35 so quite a bit older than you, however I went to university and i pmo'd a lot back then and although i got my degree i got a 2:2 when i know i was capable of at least getting a 2:1 or even a first if i tried hard enough. I'm over 3 years clean from porn, drugs and alcohol and have turned over a new leaf and developed new skills in a new career. For you, i would say getting a girlfriend would be important since at your age you will have more sexual energy naturally and it has to go somewhere. We can't just switch off our biological nature but we CAN re-focus it.
    black_coyote likes this.

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