Seriously addicted to (P)MO, cannot go more than 2 days.

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Luke Porter, Jul 27, 2016.

  1. Luke Porter

    Luke Porter Fapstronaut

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    I am 31, been PMO since 12/13, fapping about 3-5 times a day, more on some days. Use porn about 80% of the time.
    I won't repeat the symptoms- but I have all the classic ones, the biggest one is struggling to get erect with a girl [80% of time it is only semi and then goes away in a few minutes] though works pretty well the rest of the time (though is deteriorating as I get older, fapping with a semi). Every year it gets worse, I haven't had a 10min+ fuck with a girl in about 3/4 years. It is starting to get to be a real problem and making me depressed and avoid women. It is frustrating as I find it relatively easy to find a hot girl up for it, but I can't perform or it is really terrible so she thinks I am not interested.

    For the last 6 months I have tried countless times to stop PMO, especially MO. I find it relatively easy to not watch porn, but I have a filthy imagination and still end up touching it, getting hard, then edging and it is near on impossible to stop. I cannot go for more than 2 days without MO. Today was another day 2, I was edging most of day but stopped before O, then got serious blue balls [happens every time] and I had to O. I cannot get past this point. For me I am fully addicted to MO. I feel I cannot do this, has anyone else had anything similar and overcome it?
    I am currently seeing a really hot girl I like, she is coming this weekend, and it is pretty clear sex is on the cards. I am terrified. I know this makes it worse.
    Really need some help here.
     
  2. Perhaps its time to look deeper into your current lifestyle and think how it effects your current situation. It seems like you need to change a lot of things in your daily routine to circumvent your urges to watch and fap to internet porn, 80% of your free time on internet porn is the first thing you need to change, work on hobbies/other activities to keep yourself pre-occupied and trust me its going to be really really hard for you to get out of your safe comfort zone and to try other things out. And the thing is you already do other things, you most likely just dont pay enough attention to notice their significance :).

    Work on one thing at a time and your overall view of your situation will become clearer and it will gradually post and few months from now you'll look at this post and make another one saying how things changed, you have to actually see yourself become the person you want to become, you gota really believe it, because if you don't and if you get trapped into negative thinking then nothing will change.

    You already made the first step, which is acknowledging that you have an addiction and for the last 6 months you've just been unable to maintain a consistent streak. Nobody said this is going to be easy, if it was easy then porn addiction wouldn't exist. So try harder and don't make any excuses, dont justify porn watching to yourself.

    I don't think you are trying hard enough, setup a counter for yourself and perhaps a journal - support is very helpful and just writing about this stuff helps, even if no 1 reads/replies to it, you help yourself because fuck everybody else. So yeah, start a counter tracker thing, maybe a journal and dont reset it now every single time just count like: day 1 relapse, day 6- 9 relapses, day 13- 13 relapses, day 25-14 relapses, day 41- 15 relapses, day 150- 16 relapses.. What i am trying to show is that you will see gradual increase in your streaks.. Then you can either just do a day 1 streak and have a long one.. OR just do what i do/some others do, just have a general counter for the day you started your journey and dont pay so much attention to relapses unless you start binge relapsing, ignoring something wont make it go away.



    Anyway relapse isn't bad, its like so what... Whatever, its what you do afterwards that matters, either you binge relapse or you juts turn off your electronic devices put your phone away.. lay in bed.. then just get bored and go out instead to chill/workout/hangout whatever it is that MAKES YOU HAPPY

    hope this shit helps, i suck am not perfect.. i JUST HAD A LITTLE PEEK today.. Ended up fapping.. Then told myself i wont binge relapse... Then 5 minutes later i fap again.. I turn off my computer lay in bed, and i notice i was wearing my sport shorts... SO i just go to my car, drive to the park and workout and meet some nice dude and talk to some nice people and make friends, didnt expect that.. could of stayed in my apartment and i promise u i would of fapped at least 2 more times.. NOW I DONT EVEN feel the chaser effect, i dont even feel like i fapped.. i talk to people like i was on day 60 again :) its all bullshit lmao streaks are bullshit
     
  3. Luke Porter

    Luke Porter Fapstronaut

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    Thanks. I think you're right, on not trying hard enough. I meant 80% of the time I fapped I watch P, not that I watch P 80% of my awake time!

    Not sure if it came across in the message but I don't have the porn addiction so much, I can stop that relatively easy. I struggle more with MO, I cannot stop, I will fap 3 times a day no matter where I am, with or withouyt porn, I find a way. I am totally hooked. I literally cannot stop.

    I think I have a more broad sex addiction, in that if I didn't have ED I'd be having sex a lot, but since I now have ED issues I fap, and I know I'd need to stop fap for a bit before I could get back to regular sex frequently, so I am kind of stuck. Does anybody have this? The majority of the discussion on here is about porn which isn't so much the issue for me. I'd have this issue if I was on a desert island.
     
  4. cstguy

    cstguy Fapstronaut

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    OK here's what I came across. I fapped 2 -6 (sometimes more) times a day and it was just killing my sex life with PIED. I went to Europe (Amsterdam) to check out the culture and MY ED was so bad, I could not enjoy (legally) visiting with a lady in the district. That was the rock bottom for me. At this point, I had to do something.
    I am visiting with a talk therapist, (this is really effective) am on a weekly Sex Addicts Anon phone teleconference SAA Meeting call, have put a block on my Samsung note 5 (it is too easy to hook into porn there) I don't have internet in my house (by design, I don't want distractions of any kind) so I use my computer in public places.
    Now, what is going to effective for you? Man if I had a selection of ladies (I'm Older, 65) I'd be working on my ED with a vengence. This is tricky to figure out how to shut down the temptation...being on this site is good, but I would suggest you look straight into the eyes of a trusted Therapist (or friend) but a professional hired to talk you through this is much better!
    You can choose to fap until the choke hold you need to get off will almost kill ya. (trust me, I was there) but I refuse to use shame on myself, I prefer to think of the challenge and the end run benefit. My writing you is part of the healing and I thank you Luke. You are not alone, you just have to get over the "hump", pun intended. I am 21 days without looking a porn, went 14 days with out MO, but a YouTube segment got me to MO, shit, that pisses me off!
    Good Luck.
     

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