Setting the Boundaries

Discussion in 'Significant Other Journals' started by Trigirl78, Dec 29, 2018.

  1. Trigirl78

    Trigirl78 Fapstronaut

    Thank you so much for your advice it was much needed!
    I’ve just been for a 5. Mile walk as an effort to protect myself when he fails to top and reading this at the end I feel so much better
  2. Numb

    Numb Fapstronaut

    P-subs are everywhere. I was looking on Ebay for thermal pants to stay warm for winter walks. The photos, I has such a hard time I was so triggered. Sometimes I wonder who they are aiming these photos to, they are fucking long johns not some stocking or something 'sexy'. Yahoo 'news' is just as bad too.
    Whether he MO or not he is still getting that hit from looking and not recovering. Stick to your consequence, make sure you follow through with what you say.
    We didn't do a tech detox, it wasn't an issue. No smartphone here just an old flip phone, though it still has internet access and he's used it in the past for that. The laptop he never spent much time on, mostly just to PMO it seems. But if it will help you two out and move forward go for it, it can't hurt anything. I've read others here have ditched social media and that does a lot of good.
    Trappist and Kenzi like this.
  3. Kenzi

    Kenzi Fapstronaut

    @Trigirl78 my husband had a Notice recently where he looked up "hot water heater" to get a new one for the house
    ... The first image is a naked woman showering on Google - showing off what a great tank she has.
    No joke.
    Its unavoidable.
    Ditching social media did more for him than anything else imo.

    But you can't avoid the world
    Trappist and Numb like this.
  4. Numb

    Numb Fapstronaut

    It's been over a year at this point. The laptop is used for important things, SSD, paying bills, buying/selling and recovery resources. So it isn't going anywhere. In the past he didn't use it very much. News, ebay and PMO was pretty much it. You could say the same thing about the phone, but as much as I hate seeing that thing it stays. It is needed for drs, other bills and it has pictures of dogs that have passed. Things are changing. If it was still an issue I'd agree with you.
  5. Trigirl78

    Trigirl78 Fapstronaut

    Ok....Testing Tuesdays is what I’m going to call them from now the past 2 weeks on a Tuesday when I’ve left the house to go to work he has slipped either P or PMO. This Tuesday after what he claims is 2 weeks since MO, he did infact break the boundary of MO. He said he didn’t watch P and didn’t fantasise and it was ‘just lovely’ like he’s had a nice massage and facial on a spa day.

    Now I’m confused as I feel myself weakening to his constant changes in direction and situations and circumstances ....I’m doubting whether I’ve been too hard by putting in the boundary of no MO. Maybe that’s not a boundary that I can specify?

    Issue is, MO whilst trying to recover can have a detrimental affect on his recovery time, not to mention he’s now satisfied for the day so that will mean I’m not going to be tonight now as he’s used it up with himself! And lastly, he’s just started to feel the benefits of no MO as he mentioned the sensation from actual real life interaction was heightening. It was some actual physical feedback and reinforcement to himself that his Overuse of MO has caused lack of feeling and sensation and that no MO right now is the right road for him.

    Any suggestions or recommendations?

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