Seven days, now what?

Awesome post!

 

I agree with what most other nofappers say here. Find out the reason why you relapse. Then find a way to solve it. For most people, it is either boredom or depression. If you are feeling bored, then try to learn new tasks, such as read new books, or do sports, such as playing basketball, in order to fulfill your time. I also advise using a planner. If you are feeling depressed, well, you just have to tell yourself the right way to release pressure is by doing the above activities (reading a new book, doing sports, taking a walk outside, learn something you don't know, etc) and not through fapping. Besides that, one motivation for me on this journey that helped me a lot is that I kept telling myself that I know my life isn't good right now, but I keep fapping and escaping reality, my life is only going to get worse. Thus, there is nothing to lose.

 

This is so true. I see it at 12-step meetings that I occasionally attend. Some people have years of "sobriety", yet they are just dry drunks who are prideful as they tell everyone how sober they are. I would rather struggle through relapse, work through my shit, and have an authentic sobriety that ultimately leads to a healthy long term success. I have gotten so hung up on my counter at times that if I PMOed at 11 p.m., I would tell myself that I should take advantage while my counter is at 0 and PMO again a few more times before I sleep because the counter starts up again in the morning...insanity and totally missing the point!! Thanks for sharing.

 

Really like this post. I use a counter, but the focus must be on the now. That is why I have been rigorously employing the five second rule: no sexual thought entertained longer than fave seconds. I can't stop them from showing up in my head, but I don't have to hang out with them. I go on to the next thing. If they get too persistent, then I change my activity. I am adamant, I simply don't have to put up with an unwanted thought. I don't get pissed about it, I do what is necessary to go on to the next thing.

 

That was great explanation man

 

Thank you man, means a lot. Glad it helped!

 

I am on day 41, and what has really helped me is to set small goals. Like when I hit 7 days I was like, “Alright, now I gotta make it into double digits day 10.” Then that lead to trying to make it to 2 weeks etc. Right now I’m trying to make it to 45 days. Also I would read success stories where they described benefits of reaching a certain number of days. Like getting morning wood after 30 days etc

 

Thank you! I am that person now. I have been relatively good for months and over the past couple weeks have slowly been slipping back. Tonight I spent almost 90 minutes looking. No MO. And each time it gets a little worse. I don’t know how to do this. My wife knows. It crushes her. She would divorce rather than deal. I don’t want that and yet here I am.

 

Thanks for this, very helpful. It's exactly what made me get to day 7 (I'm at day 7 too): I could never go that far in the past because I was constantly counting the days (it's already 2 days, 3 days, will I make it to day 4 etc.), then I realised that this was doing nothing good and removed the goal from my head. This is what taught me to meditate years ago (stop thinking will I be able to meditate properly for 5 minutes, 10 minutes etc. and just concentrate on the single, individual breath). This is why I like your idea of dealing with the urge in the present moment because it's really a form of meditation, although I find particularly hard (or rather, I'm not very well trained on it).