Severe urge and no support from SO should i go to a escort

W

Wannachange75

Fapstronaut
i am on day 66 no pmo. First time in my life that i have been without O or MO or PMO for so long. I am on the journey to recover from my PIED.

I have no co operation from my SO. Our sex life has never been great but with PIED it is bad. I have not told her about nofap but when i approach her she justs shuns and snubs me away

Having too much of an urge i guess i am rebooting. I don’t want to go back to porn should i go to a escort . Is it not better than PMO. I may not O with the escort can i atleast try if my PIED is cured
 
What do you feel you will gain from going to an escort ? Do you think afterwards you will feel fulfilled, or do you think you will feel unsatisfied ? I have bought escorts, thinking that will solve my issues with IP if I had something physical, but it doesn't feel like anything but disappointment afterwards. I think what you really want, from your post, is to connect with your SO, and have her communicate with you. I would consider other avenues into that. It might be difficult but if she really wants to be your SO, she is going to have to communicate with you.
 
Bad idea my friend... "can i atleast try if my PIED is cured" that right there is your brain tricking you into this, finding reasons and excuses to make this seem ok .. dont go there, you will regret it. Its better to use your energy to fix your relationship with your SO.
 
There are SOs on this site. Reach out to them. Above all, i believe it would be in your best interest to reveal what you are doing on the NoFap site. I imagine if there is still a chance of reconciliation with your SO, she would like to know what is going on for you. It will also serve to take you out of any denial of what you have, which is porn addiction.

The escort path will only put you in a position of bonding with a memory of sex with someone who means nothing to you. Presumably, you would like to be bonded to your SO. If that is the case, do what you can to nurture that bond.

Be honest with her. Part of the path of the addict is lying. Being truthful helps break the pattern.

To really get the bonding vs addiction idea, watch this:
 
kero sen said:
Bad idea my friend... "can i atleast try if my PIED is cured" that right there is your brain tricking you into this, finding reasons and excuses to make this seem ok .. dont go there, you will regret it. Its better to use your energy to fix your relationship with your SO.
Click to expand...
Yes my brain is tricking me. Should get stronger and reach back to my SO thanks
 
Determined_to_Succeed said:
There are SOs on this site. Reach out to them. Above all, i believe it would be in your best interest to reveal what you are doing on the NoFap site. I imagine if there is still a chance of reconciliation with your SO, she would like to know what is going on for you. It will also serve to take you out of any denial of what you have, which is porn addiction.

The escort path will only put you in a position of bonding with a memory of sex with someone who means nothing to you. Presumably, you would like to be bonded to your SO. If that is the case, do what you can to nurture that bond.

Be honest with her. Part of the path of the addict is lying. Being truthful helps break the pattern.

To really get the bonding vs addiction idea, watch this:
Click to expand...
Thanks for putting my thoughts back on track. Really meaninful
 
Determined_to_Succeed said:
There are SOs on this site. Reach out to them. Above all, i believe it would be in your best interest to reveal what you are doing on the NoFap site. I imagine if there is still a chance of reconciliation with your SO, she would like to know what is going on for you. It will also serve to take you out of any denial of what you have, which is porn addiction.

The escort path will only put you in a position of bonding with a memory of sex with someone who means nothing to you. Presumably, you would like to be bonded to your SO. If that is the case, do what you can to nurture that bond.

Be honest with her. Part of the path of the addict is lying. Being truthful helps break the pattern.

To really get the bonding vs addiction idea, watch this:
Click to expand...

Still relatively new to the forums. What's a SO?
 
Wannachange75 said:
I have no co operation from my SO. Our sex life has never been great but with PIED it is bad. I have not told her about nofap but when i approach her she justs shuns and snubs me away
Click to expand...

I would meet a professional counselor, and understand whether the poor sex life contributed to your porn use and consequent addiction.
If that is the case I would consider couples counselling to address that. Otherwise no matter how hard you work on nofap it is hard to complete the recovery.

I agree that if your encounter with a female concludes with guilt/shame/disappointment it could be bad for your recovery.
It doesn't matter whether it is an escort or strange or a SO.
 
I hate to be a party pooper, but unless you are in Nevada (in the USA, if I read your profile properly) going to escorts is illegal for sex.

I gotta believe that this forum would never condone committing a crime for the sake of sexual "therapy".

I just want to give you another perspective. Of course your significant other (SO) would probably HATE the idea of you seeing an escort, but how about asking yourself if you are willing to break the law and risk going to jail "just to check on your PIED".
Trust me on this one: Bad idea. (and, yes, I've done it........bad idea)
 
for me, going to escort, is this:
you pay for their service, in another words, if you don't have money, or even right after you are done, you are nobody to them, they don't even will look at you twice, for them, just another job, they don't care about who you are, how great you are, how honest you are and how strong you are, BUT another man who's horny and hungry for sex.

for me, i don't want to be nobody, i want to be myself, and recognised as myself. so this thought will throw me off from going escort.
keep fighting brother, everything you do is worth it.
 
furture doctore said:
for me, going to escort, is this:
you pay for their service, in another words, if you don't have money, or even right after you are done, you are nobody to them, they don't even will look at you twice, for them, just another job, they don't care about who you are, how great you are, how honest you are and how strong you are, BUT another man who's horny and hungry for sex.

for me, i don't want to be nobody, i want to be myself, and recognised as myself. so this thought will throw me off from going escort.
keep fighting brother, everything you do is worth it.
Click to expand...

your statement is profound. It made a dent in my seemingly hardened conscience on escorts. Thanks
 
furture doctore said:
for me, going to escort, is this:
you pay for their service, in another words, if you don't have money, or even right after you are done, you are nobody to them, they don't even will look at you twice, for them, just another job, they don't care about who you are, how great you are, how honest you are and how strong you are, BUT another man who's horny and hungry for sex.

for me, i don't want to be nobody, i want to be myself, and recognised as myself. so this thought will throw me off from going escort.
keep fighting brother, everything you do is worth it.
Click to expand...
Very very impactful you have really given me a strong reply to say no
 
Future Doctore made a HUGE statement. Brilliant.

I feel the same way. I used to go to a "massage therapist" who would give me a handjob after each massage. She acted like she loved me. (I knew better) One day I showed up and got my massage and customary handjob......reached into my wallet to pay her....and...OOOPS! I only have a few dollars in there. I apologized to her profusely and promised to immediately return with plenty. (I had always tipped her generously) By this time I saw her at least a dozen times.

She grew super angry, kicked me out of the place and told me never to come back.

THAT is what an escort really thinks of you.
 
Fair point SteveO.....What caught me unawares was that I have been to her so frequently. I simply blew it. It has to be at least a dozen times before seeing her that made the contrast in her behavior so off-putting.
 
furture doctore said:
for me, going to escort, is this:
you pay for their service, in another words, if you don't have money, or even right after you are done, you are nobody to them, they don't even will look at you twice, for them, just another job, they don't care about who you are, how great you are, how honest you are and how strong you are, BUT another man who's horny and hungry for sex.

for me, i don't want to be nobody, i want to be myself, and recognised as myself. so this thought will throw me off from going escort.
keep fighting brother, everything you do is worth it.
Click to expand...

I read this as, you don't go to a escort to be yourself and recognized being what you are. That is reasonable. Most people don't go to an escort for that. :)
 
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