Sex after a couple days of PMO free

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by Fink93, Mar 28, 2017.

  1. Fink93

    Fink93 Fapstronaut

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    Title says it all. Thing is I really want to have sex though. Please do tell me it's fine doing that because I really want it. I had sex once with a prostitute and I didn't feel anything so I'm really missing something. So this girl I chatted with is gonna come over to me on Friday and this time I don't want it to be cuddling only.. Will I be feeling bad again when I have an orgasm after 10 days of no PMO? I don't want to keep the side effects I have when fapping all day.

    Please help me out
     
  2. Go for it, just be aware of the "chaser affect." Personally, I never experienced it the one time I had sex during my streak. However, be on alert. I don't know if you ever had sex or not, but you can rest knowing that it is NOTHING like PMO. You even feel a little bit of energy afterwards, sometimes a little physically drained, but only physically, nothing mental. Other times, you feel a little nauseous after sex, but that's just me. Don't know if anyone else gets that.
     
    Tesslynne likes this.
  3. Fink93

    Fink93 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for the reply. I'm glad to hear that it's fine. What do you mean with the chaser effect. Can you elaborate?
     
  4. The chaser affect is basically where one asbtains from PMO and has no urges at the moment. When they have sex, they supposedly get the urges to masterbate again. In this case, it's just a matter of staying strong and rewiring the brain for sex only.
     
  5. Fink93

    Fink93 Fapstronaut

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    i can definitely stay strong. I won´t watch any porn or masturbate. thing is i want a girlfriend and well, i guess we all know that theres gonna be sex involved sooner or later.
     
    Matrix Intel likes this.
  6. Fink93

    Fink93 Fapstronaut

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    Feelings really horny about this girl haha. Gonna meet her on the weekend we are gonna go out for a bit. Maybe later on watch a movie together. She isn't shy at all so yeah. I don't know if she wants to have sex right away but I like to talk about things with her so I'm gonna figure this out. Probably not gonna do a hard mode challenge anymore because I won't abstain from orgasms.
     
    Matrix Intel likes this.
  7. Whalenz

    Whalenz Fapstronaut

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    Keep abstaining from PM. If you have the chance to get a girlfriend and be in a positive relationship that involves sex then do it. But, be aware and if you notice you have broken your PM streak and get back into old habits, even if you are with the girl, then I it's time for a full PMO reboot. I'm sure this won't happen as you seem like a very determined individual.
     
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  8. Whether you have sex or not, your nofap journey will be just as fun and life changing. Although I'm glad I lost my virginity a couple months ago, which feels like a damn year, not even joking, my negative self-limiting thoughts came back like a damned boomerang. WHACK At the time though, I felt on top of the world.

    I thought that losing it would at least lessen the negative thoughts to some degree, but man, I was dead wrong. That made me realize that the only way to really heal is self improvement, especially nofap. By the way, this was during day 30 or something. It's almost like we as humans have short term memory, or even amnesia, when it comes to sexual encounters, always thinking we never had it in the first place. Weird I know, but that's the best I can describe it.

    lol Now, I'm in a much different sitution, and not really in a good way. Basically, I'm not gonna be having any sex for a LONG time due to financial and geographical circumstances, probably a good year at least. Just the thought of that makes me go crazy sometimes, but we get better every day of nofap.
     
  9. Fink93

    Fink93 Fapstronaut

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    I'm glad that you're improving. Even if it goes a bit slow. Why don't you try some app like tinder and lovoo I think it can help you very much in finding someone. And it won't cost you a cent. Try it out =)
     
    Matrix Intel likes this.
  10. Fink93

    Fink93 Fapstronaut

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    Thbajs
    Thank you for the kind words. In some things I can be pretty hard on myself. Mostly it's not really helping me as I'm a perfectionist and trying to do things 100% the right way will just limit me in the long way.
     
  11. Fink93

    Fink93 Fapstronaut

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    So I chatted with her today. And I nearly fucked it up cause I said "hey my weight is xx, what's yours?" brilliant question right? I apologized per SMS as good as I could possibly do it. Told her that it wasn't my intention, i didn't think when I wrote that (it's a true) Now there's a strange vibe between us. Regardless she still wants to meet me but I'm feeling like shit. I don't know how I'm gonna apologize for good.

    PS:
    Aaaaaand she doesn't want to meet with me anymore. Says it won't fit. That's fucking great. I ruined it.

    But I won't let that shit strike me down. I will be trying again with the next girl.

    Think it's good that it ended.. It wouldn't have been possible anymore to get my "pride" back . She would have me on the line like a dog.
     
    Last edited: Mar 30, 2017
    Whalenz likes this.
  12. Tesslynne

    Tesslynne Guest

    Give it time, she may come around. I know what it's like to say stupid things to people you like.

    Yeah a lot of us are sensitive about our weight.

    She MAY have misinterpreted this as you thinking she's too fat or something silly.

    I hope she changes her mind.

    I hope you find someone nice.
     
    Whalenz likes this.
  13. Whalenz

    Whalenz Fapstronaut

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    Yea that sucks man, but don't beat yourself up about it! She may genuinly not be able to make it. I mean, you only asked one question and yea it may have offended but.. its just a regular question... I don't think shes right for you if she gets that upset and offended by a question. Keep on searching mate. There are millions upon millions of fish in the sea lol
     
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  14. Fink93

    Fink93 Fapstronaut

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    Yeah she misinterpreted it. But whatever, she already removed my number it's over ;) I'm trying to set up some date with another girl next week. We want to go to the zoo. Another girl I meet in the next days is also bouldering like me. So that's pretty awesome to have someone who shares the same hobby.
    I just have those feelings of being lonely all day the time. And it makes me go crazy.
    Thanks for your post and I wish you alkali the best on your own journey.
     
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  15. Fink93

    Fink93 Fapstronaut

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    Yeah that's true I also was like wtf is she being upset about? The question may have been a bit direct but still nothing to do rant that much about. For the more info read my previous post.
     
    Whalenz likes this.
  16. Tesslynne

    Tesslynne Guest

    Well, you're meeting amazing women already who love to do cool stuff you like. I'd say it's all good.

    Try to meet both maybe don't have sex with them JUST yet, suss them out & see who you prefer.

    Honey you are on a ROLL!
     
  17. Fink93

    Fink93 Fapstronaut

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    Haha I wouldn't take it that far. I've barely met them as of yet. But I'm doing my best. Believe it or not not, sex is not my priority. I'd like to get around with the girl first. All the rest comes after.

    I also want to do some volunteering to meet more people. I just checked out my cities volunteering Website and there seem to be spots open. For guiding refugees.I need to fill my spare time so I don't have so much time to think about negative things. It only drags me down.
     
  18. Tesslynne

    Tesslynne Guest

    WOWWWW volunteering to help guide refugees, that's so awesome & you are going to help make a difference. What a wonderful thing :)
     
  19. MeTP

    MeTP Fapstronaut

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    It's one of the funniest things I read during my streak and this NoFAP journey. Head up bro !
     
  20. Fink93

    Fink93 Fapstronaut

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    All of a sudden it's more things I actually did wrong.

    What a crazy girl :D
     

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