sex as male with dominant women problematic?

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by TopBoys_Frontline, Apr 14, 2021.

  1. TopBoys_Frontline

    TopBoys_Frontline Fapstronaut

    after now of one year on my nofap journey and doing selfreflection: i think i just like sex with dominant women, unconditionaly of what i saw in pmo or not - i think its a childhood thing... would you say that is problematic (in the sense of evolution and chances finding a woman)?

    i dont mean anything like petting (though i had fantasies about coz of shem*** porn which i believe to me was an extreme form of femdom in a way or also a frustration that i thought im not male enough having these tendencies) but just in the sense that the woman leads the sex and gives orders - just like using a dildo (co trolling motion and so on) and im the dildo for the woman if you understand....

    its not that she fucks me but rather she fucks herself with me...

    i think me and my ex girlfriend broke up unoficialy because if that... she also had a daddy complex and i maybe have mommy complex i dont know...

    im a lot about masculinitY domination strengthen my masculine core etc because i believe masculine/femine energy and i want to be dominant as a man in the relationship and also in sex classicaly be the penetrator but as mentioned in the sense that the women takes the lead...

    but all i hear about masculine/feminine energy im scared i will never find that kind of a woman...
    +TenPercent likes this.
  2. if that's what you like then that's ok
    TopBoys_Frontline and Indiahel like this.
  3. phwrancesco

    phwrancesco Fapstronaut

    Man, if this is what you like just pursue it (only with consenting people of course).
    TopBoys_Frontline and CarP like this.
  4. Yeah I will parrot what everyone else is saying. Your sexuality and sexual fantasies are valid. There is no right way to be a male. If you want to be more masculine I'm afraid I don't know how to help with that.
    ZiguShar, TopBoys_Frontline and CarP like this.
  5. modern milarepa

    modern milarepa Fapstronaut

    No man, by no means this is OK. Sex is the ultimate act of the relationship it embodies what the relationship is, the good and the bad.
    You can not be masculine and dominate and be passive. You have to choose.
    If you are not the male in the bed this translate to all the relationship.
    You have to lead the woman always, this is a psychological big problem you even said was the cause of your break up.
    Women deep down want to follow. If you don't provide this in the bed and the relationship at the end the relationship won't work.
    There are many dominant women, you don't want that, a dominant woman in bed is also in the relationship. You will suffer. Get rid of this weird fetish. It's a soft form of femdom.
    Last edited: Apr 16, 2021
  6. damn dude you sound like freud trying to explain why his mom is hot
    Drabdullah and TopBoys_Frontline like this.
  7. modern milarepa

    modern milarepa Fapstronaut

    Except for the cocaine, I don't do drugs like freud.

    Stay away from the drugs kid. And also don't lick any frog
    TopBoys_Frontline likes this.
  8. Marigny

    Marigny Fapstronaut


    This guy is right

    When thread author said « maybe it’s a childhood thing », he means that it come from some form of trauma (soft or hard) and that it’s not natural, but the reproduction of a pattern. And he is 100% right.
    TopBoys_Frontline likes this.
  9. TimeToQuitNow

    TimeToQuitNow Fapstronaut

    What do you mean by problematic? Is it causing you problems? You seem fine honestly. Just stay off the porn
    TopBoys_Frontline and CarP like this.
  10. Renew_1990

    Renew_1990 Fapstronaut

    It depends.
    If you naturally gravitate towards healthy, caring, loving relationships with normal alpha females thats ok as long as you find a good one that takes care of you.
    If its a fetish, creepy and yuck little thing that you pmo to in the middle of the night then its not ok. Only you can really decide.
    TopBoys_Frontline likes this.
  11. Michael Sternig

    Michael Sternig Fapstronaut

    I cant believe all the answers given here: "if thats what you like then it's ok". That's wrong.
    It's okay when it truly is okay, independet whether you like it or not.
    Most girls want a guy who is leading and takes the somewhat more dominant role in the relationship; woman loose their sexual interest if you cant lead; even the 'alpha' females look for a man who is even more alpha.

    So, basically my advice is: get your shit together and don't listen to people who say: "if that's what you feel, then it's okay, just be yourself".
    TopBoys_Frontline likes this.
  12. Inloverber

    Inloverber Fapstronaut

    I don't find anything wrong. It can be you or she who will dominate, what's important is the two of you are enjoying. But if you want to lead, let her know and find out if how she wants to be dominated too.
    CarP and TopBoys_Frontline like this.
  13. TimeToQuitNow

    TimeToQuitNow Fapstronaut

    Can you explain exactly what is wrong with it? Sure most women may be like that. But others aren't. And in either case I don't see where the morality comes in.
    TopBoys_Frontline likes this.
  14. eagle rising

    eagle rising Fapstronaut

    @TopBoys_Frontline Only you can ultimately decide what you should do. Whatever it is (in terms of your post), it doesn't mean that you are any less or any more than who you are, and that's fantastic!

    You don't have to heed to these boys' cry for domination. They are all lost in ideation, where there is no sense of what reality is. I would not try to occupy that space (the ideations), you might go crazy. The evidence is clear that this is happening, even in this thread. They think that relationship is predicated on control. That cannot be further from the truth. Relationship is predicated on something deeper, understanding and communication, etc.

    Humans are varied from one to the other. Humans even vary from one hour to the next! Don't define yourself as dominate or passive, that is a terrible place to be in. Just do what is necessary for the given moment.

    Only when you attain to a sufficient level of attention in your relationship will you be able to respond adequately. I say this because of someone mentioning, "you will lose control in the relationship". Each relationship is different. No two relationships are equal. We all like different things and we all express ourselves in different ways. Just find your own expression.

    There are literally billions of women out there, of course you don't have access to all of them, but they are all different. You can find someone you "vibe" with. Don't label them, just recognize them for who they are. If evolution has brought us this far, I would venture to guess that once we wipe away all the ideations what is left will surely leave us in the best position to spring from.
    TopBoys_Frontline likes this.
  15. Excellent Post!! You are correct!!

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