Sex Chat App Addiction

I thought I wasn’t doing anything wrong. I didn’t imagine the consequences.

Nearly a year ago I installed a adult chat app on my phone. My wife and I were being increasingly less sexual, predominately because we have two children. However I was getting friskier and friskier and thought a good idea would be to literally take matters into my own hands. While I’ve watched porn and enjoyed it in the past I never found it very engaging.

When I was a teenager yahoo chat used to be full of sex chat or “cyber sex” as it was know then. Hence why I installed the sex chat app.

My profile on there initially made it clear I was married but a lack of interest from any women meant I then created a single persona. Not many were interested even then and as the months went on I found my slef going on the app with increasing regularity during off hundreds of chat requests in the hope that someone would reply. I had no quality fresh hold as the months past, any woman on there would get a message even if I didn’t find them remotely attractive.

Some did reply and occasionally I struck up conversations. The goal was always to get sexual though, I need to be validated that someone found me attractive and sexy. Some women I started speaking to regularly but as my persona was single occasionally they wanted to meet. This always scared me and would shock me to my sense and I would delete the app, I didn’t want to cross that line and I liked the distinction between online fantasy and real life.

I would play with myself while we talked. And as the obsession grew I became less discreet and at my lowest times I’d play while in bed with my wife. On one occasion I woke her up and she caught me. Seeing how hurt she was I pledged to never do it again but that latest only a few weeks and I started on the app again.

Yesterday my wife confronted me. She had discovered the apps and read what I had been saying. Obviously she was very upset, and even questioned if she was still in love with me as a result.

I don’t blame her I have been awful. I’m enbarrsssd ashamed and clearly addicted to the thrill of chatting to strangers.

I need to stop. I have damaged our relationship, shamed myself and I need help .

 

Thank you. Yes everything is off my phone, I’ve even looked into ways to block me getting the apps but that doesn’t seem possible on iOS. I’ve seen the results of my addiction now and how it can hurt others. I can’t slip again or I will lose her

 

I feel very alone. They’re. Time sink too. If you want 5 more minutes some one great will chat but even if they do it’s the same conversations. I think my wife is understandably upset as it involved interaction with a stranger