I thought I wasn’t doing anything wrong. I didn’t imagine the consequences. Nearly a year ago I installed a adult chat app on my phone. My wife and I were being increasingly less sexual, predominately because we have two children. However I was getting friskier and friskier and thought a good idea would be to literally take matters into my own hands. While I’ve watched porn and enjoyed it in the past I never found it very engaging. When I was a teenager yahoo chat used to be full of sex chat or “cyber sex” as it was know then. Hence why I installed the sex chat app. My profile on there initially made it clear I was married but a lack of interest from any women meant I then created a single persona. Not many were interested even then and as the months went on I found my slef going on the app with increasing regularity during off hundreds of chat requests in the hope that someone would reply. I had no quality fresh hold as the months past, any woman on there would get a message even if I didn’t find them remotely attractive. Some did reply and occasionally I struck up conversations. The goal was always to get sexual though, I need to be validated that someone found me attractive and sexy. Some women I started speaking to regularly but as my persona was single occasionally they wanted to meet. This always scared me and would shock me to my sense and I would delete the app, I didn’t want to cross that line and I liked the distinction between online fantasy and real life. I would play with myself while we talked. And as the obsession grew I became less discreet and at my lowest times I’d play while in bed with my wife. On one occasion I woke her up and she caught me. Seeing how hurt she was I pledged to never do it again but that latest only a few weeks and I started on the app again. Yesterday my wife confronted me. She had discovered the apps and read what I had been saying. Obviously she was very upset, and even questioned if she was still in love with me as a result. I don’t blame her I have been awful. I’m enbarrsssd ashamed and clearly addicted to the thrill of chatting to strangers. I need to stop. I have damaged our relationship, shamed myself and I need help .