Sex coach: ask your questions

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by Tibo87, Aug 27, 2019.

  1. greenishmoon

    greenishmoon Fapstronaut

    It's funny that you used a little size for the typo. I totally understand you (I think I got a little bit over the top with this sometimes though :D).

    Thanks @Tibo87 for your time answering, I'll take all that into account.
     
    Coffee Candy likes this.
  2. Haha omg, I wish! ;)

    Lol same, girl, same.
     
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  3. Going good, just put it up, thanks for the reminder actually :D
    I am thinking to add some more quotes with time, but I will take it easy and really only do those that I find incredible
     
    Tibo87 likes this.
  4. Tibo87

    Tibo87 Fapstronaut

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    That's exactly the way.
    If you were to overdo it, or doing something that it is totally out of character (in that particular case), it wouldn't feel right for you in the first place, and you partner might feel the ''overfaking''.

    If you are with a guy who moans a lot, you will feel more open about doing it as well. And if you are with a guy that is not doing it, you can always share with him that it could be a good game / opportunity to implement more pleasure.

    But again, if both of you want / like quiet sex, then it is perfect as well. Knowing that you feel good making noise would be just one more tool to your arsenal of pleasures ;)
     
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  5. bigbnoo

    bigbnoo Fapstronaut

    I have some questions. How do you consistently stay positive?

    I feel in a bad place at the moment, as my partner has had some chronic health issues recently and sex has not been on the agenda. In the past couple of months I have not really been bothered by that because porn usage was filling a gap. Now I am abstaining I am feeling the urge more, but she does not seem to. The thought comes that she may have gone off me somewhat. We used to have a good sex life, how does one rekindle that?
     
  6. Elzapadelagente

    Elzapadelagente Fapstronaut

    Muy muy muy buen post.
    Hace 6 meses encontré nofap. En estos 6 meses me masturbe 2 veces! Una genialidad!
    Estuve investigando sobre la transmutación y sexualidad tao y me gusta mucho tus respuestas.

    Crees que debería ver a un psiquiatra?
    Tenia preguntas pero las fueron antes q yo.

    Muchas gracias.
    Me gustaría que seas mi socio en la recuperación.
    Usando el traductor de Google obvio!

    Un abrazo

    Zapa
     
  7. Does penis size matter?
     
  8. Tibo87

    Tibo87 Fapstronaut

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    Hi Bigbnoo, thank you for your question.

    Well there is two questions here:
    - How do you stay positive? Jon Rohn used to say ''you need to learn and to know how to handle the winters'' (metaphore of the seasons for life events). It is during this difficult moments in life that you need to be focus on ''the end of the tunnel''. A difficult moment is only as long as you make it last. By being positive and see ''the glass half full'', it will be much easier for you to move on.
    How to do that? By reframing the situation into positive outcomes and repeat it to yourself every day. As your girlfriend is going through a difficult time, write down and repeat to yourself ''I am here to help her get better, I am in control of my life and my action, and I am improving myself every day to make my relationship even more beautiful''.
    You have to wake up and go to sleep to with idea every day, no matter how you feel at the beginning.

    - How do you rekindle a healthy sex life? By communicating openly both your needs and desires. Set up together a day and a time when you will dedicate at least half an hour to talk about the state of your relationship. No phones, no friends, just you two. Tell her that there is something important (but positive) that you want to share with her to make your relationship better. Tell her that you will start to talk (set up an alarm for 10 min) and you would like her to fully listen without interrupting you, as she will have the same time to answer and express herself. You are setting up a container for trust and freedom to talk and to be heard.
    When you both have finished to talk, you can share your mutual thoughts, but first you should hug and kiss eachothers, and thank eachother for being there and have this strong relationship.

    Also, if she went through hard time, it is the time for you to embrace your Masculinity and be a Provider for her.
    Start by reconnecting physically with her by offering her a massage. Tell her that it will be only for her to relax, no other outcomes, and that you will be fully dedicated to her pleasure.
    Be there also in showing attention, kisses, cooking, and everything that will make her happy to see you and crave even more intimacy in your company.
     
    greenishmoon likes this.
  9. Tibo87

    Tibo87 Fapstronaut

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    Hola Pepe,

    Gracias para tu repuesta, pero el mensaje es en espanol jaja.

    Genial! Sigues el buen trabajo!

    No puedo darte una repuesta clara para esto Pepe.
    Hay que si te sientes bien en tu camino de vida y si haces tabajo personal sobre tu alma, pienso que no necesitas ver un psi.
    Pero si tienes cosas en tu vida pasada que estan muy dura para ti, le puedes ver algunas veces.
    El mejor, si quieres ir a fuera y estar feliz de tuyo, es de leer libros y de hacer lo que te pones feliz mas y mas!
     
    Elzapadelagente likes this.
  10. Tibo87

    Tibo87 Fapstronaut

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    Hi HustleMan, thank you for your answer.

    It does not matter if you are asking regarding pleasing a partner. There is many ways to do that without using your penis.

    Does size matter for yourself? If you don't like the way you are, I would advice you to reframe your inner dialogue, practice self-love, and love your penis.
     
  11. greenishmoon

    greenishmoon Fapstronaut

    @Tibo87 So for what I'm reading, do you believe in the work of mantras into shaping reality? What's your opinion?
     
  12. Tibo87

    Tibo87 Fapstronaut

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    Greenish, I believe in it a lot.

    If it is your own creation, if you are using powerful words, and especially if they carry memories or visualization, you will shape your reality, I know that.
    Actions and creations comes from thoughts. You won't live your life fully if you give its control to someone else. Believe in yourself, affirm what you want (especially out loud in front of the mirror in the morning), and you will set yourself for success (whatever it may be).

    To check: the story of Jim Carrey's cheque to himself
    Also, John Rohn seminars
     
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  13. I really appreciate it Tibo. I did a vision board thing on my phone and listened to a subliminal for a while and it helped me with motivation in the past. I'll continue and try and go further with myself. I actually met someone from tinder that I met in real life before and we're talking a little more now.
     
    Tibo87 likes this.
  14. Tibo87

    Tibo87 Fapstronaut

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    It's awsome!

    Im glad you had some motivation back.

    How do you feel talking to this person now that you feel more confident and you have more motivation?
     
  15. Tibo87

    Tibo87 Fapstronaut

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    @greenishmoon

    I'm curious, do you have your own practice for mantras and visualisation?
     
  16. Here's my bizarre question:

    Why is it that women only seem to want me for sex?

    Like, if I meet a woman, she wants to go all the way.

    But if I stop to talk to her, I ruin it.

    I am friend zoned, dead on arrival.

    But it's worse: I don't even have to know their name.

    If I just go up and start kissing her, she's ok with it.

    It's kind of a problem.

    Women are attracted to me because I look good,

    and also I'm athletic. I have veins, muscles, and also,

    a lot of agility.

    She figures this guy is probably not spending enough hours in the cubicle.

    Which is a problem.

    I can get the action, then it's over.

    That's all they want, I get the women who are at that point

    in life where they want a fling. They could be confused about men,

    divorced or not married yet.

    All they want is the sex. And only once.

    I don't understand it.
     
  17. greenishmoon

    greenishmoon Fapstronaut

    @Tibo87 Not really, I just know what they're about, but didn't researched about it.
    I have though written some phrases that make me know some things I think are valuable and need to feel comfortable saying, so I can internalize them and make changes.
    Visualization wise, I have a great talent for creating ambivalence in my mind, which tends to immovilize me. I think I need some help on that.
     
  18. Tibo87

    Tibo87 Fapstronaut

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    Think about what mobilize you, and do more of that. Repeat positive actions to yourself everyday, and write them down on a paper that you will see everyday. A vision board is also great for that.
     
    greenishmoon likes this.
  19. Tibo87

    Tibo87 Fapstronaut

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    Hi @LOSEmyselftoSAVEmyself

    Thank you for your not-bizarre question.

    It is quiet difficult to answer to this without more info, but I would say it goes down to communication, to yourself and with women.

    Because if you always have ONS, it means that you are also part of it and that you decided to be game for it. Make sure that your signals and what you communicate (verbal and non-verbal) are signs of interests and not just seduction for a fling.

    Also, it may be related to the kind of places you meet this women. If you meet them in a bar full of singles, there is a better chance that people here won't be looking for ''the love of their life''. If you want meaningful conversations and connections, go to places linked to subjects that you like and where people usually go to talk and not only find a fling. Seminars, trendy coffee places and bookstores are some of those.

    Finally, it may be linked to the ''type'' of women you meet.

    Find and meet women that are independent, open-minded, looking to improve themselves, and with who you FIRST have a meaningful conversation, and then you can take it to the bedroom.

    Oh yes, one last thing:

    If you are an amazing lover, if you please them and fully satisfy them, and give them respect and attention, there is a bigger chance that they will want you more than once...


    Any women thoughts on that @Coffee Candy and @Castielle ?
     
  20. I'm going to quote a couple things that you've said that might be an indication of what you're doing wrong here:

    So... I could be wrong. But to me, this sounds like the classic example of a guy complaining about not finding wife material in sleazy clubs. Now you might not actually be at sleazy clubs, but that's just an illustration.

    My point is, several things you've said here indicate that you are inviting that kind of attention and that kind of woman. What is it you are wanting? It sounds like you're saying you want something serious and long term, but your actions do not reflect that.

    As a woman who has always wanted something serious and long term, if a guy walked up to me and started trying to kiss me without even knowing my name, I would probably smack him or tell him to F off. So why are you doing that if you aren't looking for someone who is only interested in sex? That's the only kind of person who is going to respond well to that behavior.

    Your actions also suggest that you are having sex with these women, likely on the first date. That's also not something that serious men who want a serious, meaningful relationship, would do. (At least in my experience, because they would want to know the woman better and be careful not to move too fast.) And I would venture to say most women who want something serious would be a little put off by that. So again, why are you doing it?

    You keep saying "that's a problem" in regards to the women's behavior, but you are exhibiting that same behavior. You are inviting those kinds of women by your actions. Your actions suggest that you are looking for a fling, so you are attracting women who are also looking for a fling. And more importantly, you are NOT attracting women who want something serious, because they don't see you as being that kind of person, based on your actions.

    Again, I could be totally wrong, because it's not like I can see your entire life from one post. But that's what I saw in what you said. It sounds, to me, like you're going up to women and kissing them without knowing anything about them, taking them home with you to have sex, and then being surprised when they wake up the next morning and don't want to cuddle, have breakfast together, and talk about the future. That doesn't sound surprising to me.

    Maybe it would help to swap the genders in your mind, and think about a woman saying something similar. Imagine a woman asked you why she's only attracting douche bags who just want her for her body, and then she tells you that's how she acts. Would you be surprised that the guys she brings home aren't interested in being "husband material"?
     
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