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sex during reboot?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by YHA, Aug 22, 2017.

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  1. Aug 22, 2017 #1
    YHA

    YHA Fapstronaut

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    hey everyone,
    i recently posted my story on my recent relapse, ill summarize it here for the sake of my question.
    i have been on NoFap for 7 months without porn, the first three months without pmo and the rest with some masturbation without porn and it was amazing. during this time i had many hookups with several different women with no problem at all (inclduing sex and orgasm) this is after i had PIED with my ex from before. a couple of weeks ago i made the mistake of hooking up with my ex, which sexualy speaking went well the first time, however the second time my PIED came back and since then i broke this off. my self esteem shattered and i completely relapsed for two whole weeks, going back to the fetish porn i used to watch (which doesnt match my sexuality btw). now i am starting the journey again and i am one week clean of pmo, however the situation gave me a few questions.
    1. why did it return?
    i know that it might be because of some emotions from hooking up with an ex but im wondering if the fact that i had sex/ masturbated w/o porn had something to do with it.
    2.am i completely rebooting from the start if i had a two week relapse?

    3. i never understood if real sex is good during reboot or bad?? one of the main reasons why i wanted to reboot was so i could have sex... should i wait a certain time before i do? i couldnt understand the rules regarding real sex...

    also on the sidenote im currently flatlining ridiculously since day 3 until now i dont think i had a single erection plus my general energy is pretty low.

    i think i overeacted to one time when i couldnt get an erection and that might have been my biggest mistake, i should have understood that it can still happen once in a while...
    what do you guys think?
     
    YHA, Aug 22, 2017
    YHA, Aug 22, 2017
    #1
    User4118 likes this.
  2. Aug 22, 2017 #2
    Marty Bryant

    Marty Bryant Fapstronaut

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    It is totally understandable to relapse. This is a very difficult thing to do. Don't be too hard on yourself just move forward. Nofap is a journey. You did amazingly taking 7 months off. Give yourself a big pat on the back. Of course there will be valleys in this journey, the trick is to move past them and keep going. Eventually you will make it to the top of the mountain.

    As far as the ED goes. I wouldn't stress too much about it. In todays society where stimulation and neuroticism run rampant, ED is common among people of all ages. The way to get over it is to not overthink it. Try meditating, that has really helped me with mine.
     
    Marty Bryant, Aug 22, 2017
    Marty Bryant, Aug 22, 2017
    #2
    YHA likes this.
  3. Aug 22, 2017 #3
    YHA

    YHA Fapstronaut

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    haha i guess so, ive been doing some meditation and it really has been helping, especially with dealing with cravings
     
    YHA, Aug 22, 2017
    YHA, Aug 22, 2017
    #3
    MountainCreek likes this.
  4. Aug 22, 2017 #4
    Marty Bryant

    Marty Bryant Fapstronaut

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    That's what's up man. Meditation is underrated in the west and I feel is super important. Keep up the good work man, you're gonna do big thangs.
     
    Marty Bryant, Aug 22, 2017
    Marty Bryant, Aug 22, 2017
    #4
    MountainCreek and YHA like this.
  5. Aug 23, 2017 #5
    Kerouac

    Kerouac Fapstronaut

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    While on a reboot, sex can lead to a "chaser" effect, where you want to start MO and maybe PMO again. Some folks will stay away from sex in a reboot, while others think the pros are greater than the cons. It depends on your relationship and your goals.

    I think the most important thing is to be aware of the chaser effect, and to have a plan ahead of time for when it arrives. Easier said than done, I know, but that's what this community is for :)
     
    Kerouac, Aug 23, 2017
    Kerouac, Aug 23, 2017
    #5
    green lion eating the sun likes this.
  6. Aug 23, 2017 #6
    MountainCreek

    MountainCreek Guest

    I don't think I could not have sex during a streak -- i.e. be celibate, aka hard mode. When I get to 30 days in a few days I'm going to post about what got me there, and having a SO with the ability to have sex will be in the top 3 reasons why I made it.
     
    MountainCreek, Aug 23, 2017
    MountainCreek, Aug 23, 2017
    #6
  7. Aug 23, 2017 #7
    MountainCreek

    MountainCreek Guest

    Agree. I meditated yesterday and got to a state where I felt how unreal everything is. Nothing is more fake than the porn world. The porn world can be used to illustrate how we create our own realities out of something fake -- e.g. out of some images on a computer screen.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 23, 2017
    MountainCreek, Aug 23, 2017
    MountainCreek, Aug 23, 2017
    #7
  8. Aug 23, 2017 #8
    green lion eating the sun

    green lion eating the sun Fapstronaut

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    I agree with you, plus i like your nickname :) Kerouac is my favourite writer, welcome to nofap
     
    green lion eating the sun, Aug 23, 2017
    green lion eating the sun, Aug 23, 2017
    #8
    Kerouac likes this.
  9. Aug 23, 2017 #9
    YHA

    YHA Fapstronaut

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    how long is a reboot?
    if its better to wait with sex i could do it i just dont know how long
     
    YHA, Aug 23, 2017
    YHA, Aug 23, 2017
    #9
  10. Aug 24, 2017 #10
    Kerouac

    Kerouac Fapstronaut

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    Everyone's goals are different when it comes to "rebooting." You should check out the Rebooting 101 page for the philosophy of that.
    The above is the correct answer. The informal answer is that a PMO reboot is usually 90 days.

    And again regarding sex there are two camps on the issue; as long as you make a conscious choice, either way would be fine.
     
    Kerouac, Aug 24, 2017
    Kerouac, Aug 24, 2017
    #10
  11. Aug 24, 2017 #11
    Marty Bryant

    Marty Bryant Fapstronaut

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    Agreed. My problem with hard mode is that I have a girlfriend and I don't think she would like the no sex thing. She might feel like I don't desire her sexually anymore. Also After 30 days of no sex or masturbation, the next time I did have sex I would bust in 2 seconds.
     
    Marty Bryant, Aug 24, 2017
    Marty Bryant, Aug 24, 2017
    #11
  12. Aug 24, 2017 #12
    Slavomir

    Slavomir Fapstronaut

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    How about sex without ejaculation? What do you think? Relapse or not?
     
    Slavomir, Aug 24, 2017
    Slavomir, Aug 24, 2017
    #12

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