I am losing the battle before I even start. At some moments I’m so ready for sex and others I feel like I’m doomed to fail (and at those times I literally always do). I know all of this is mental. I’m so fucking embarrassed and emasculated by this and the shit I think to myself is so awful. I’m 11 days clean and overall I’ve been a lot more sober in 2020. I feel like a disappointment and not a man, and I don’t even know how my wife could find me attractive at this point. I hate myself right now.