Sexual arousal

Discussion in 'Abstinence, Retention, and Sexual Transmutation' started by Destranix, Apr 3, 2021.

  1. Destranix

    Destranix Fapstronaut

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    I translated this to:
    "It is time to stop and eliminate the fetish word from your memory, if it comes to your mind, do not have it or write it ..."

    Well, I think it's not possible to forget about once fetishes. It's like sexuality, you cannot change your sexuality (so maybe you can theoretically, but that'd need very very intensive emotions).
    Just supressing them does not work either (they just pop up after some time and they corrupt my mind, so that I somehow want to thing about them and all doubts just vanish unheared).

    But maybe I'll manage to find another way to express that fetish or maybe I'll be able to ignore it if I found some working coping strategy.
     
  2. Destranix

    Destranix Fapstronaut

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    Now I had the urge to fap. As I decided lately to not keep myself from fapping on any cost I fapped, having no arousing thoughts in mind (just a little bit of music)Felt pleasurable. Cannot say much more, I only know that my mood was not the best before, so maybe it get's better now?

    Yeah, was slightly better for sort time. Then the urge returned and I fapped again, again without any arousing thoughts or such.
     
    Last edited: Jan 12, 2022
  3. Destranix

    Destranix Fapstronaut

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    I fapped another time, cause I saw an aesthetic woman. I fapped watching at a pic of another arousing woman. Included some fetisch context. Was less pleasureable, caused slight feeling of abusal.
     
  4. Destranix

    Destranix Fapstronaut

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    Again, while having fetisch thoughts, after seeing an arousing woman. Pleasurable I guess.
     
  5. Destranix

    Destranix Fapstronaut

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    Yesterday evening I fapped due to fetish thoughts. Already was aroused, even aroused enough for imagining doing some sort of sex with myself ( thought about situations that could result from cloning myself before). Not sure if it was pleasurable or if I had a feeling of abuse afterwards.

    EDIT: Today morning I had the urge to fap again (after suffering from permanent annoying discharge), so I did due to fetish thoughts. No much more info, maybe slight feeling of abuse.
     
    Last edited: Jan 16, 2022
  6. Destranix

    Destranix Fapstronaut

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    Just fapped while having fetish thoughts and watching an more or less arousing woman.
     
  7. Destranix

    Destranix Fapstronaut

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    Now I had fetish thoughts and so I consumed fetish stories (mostly searching for a specific one, but unable to find it unfortunatly). Then came reading another one without fapping. Was pelasurable.
     
  8. black_coyote

    black_coyote Fapstronaut

    I pray you pay careful attention to your actions. experiment. experience. understand.

    Keep sailing buddy!
     
  9. Destranix

    Destranix Fapstronaut

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    Yeah, I guess it's just a matter of time till I stop autoerotic activity for longer time again.
    Just doing it when I feel the urge to does not solve my problems and it pulls me back into mental frames I escaped from and am running away from since then. It just feels abusive/bad now, though it didn't yesterday evening. (I fapped cause I could not sleep cause those idiots in the house made noise late in the evening. Why the hell! It's not loud enough to spot it but too loud to be able to sleep easily.)

    Though I'm also tired of resisting the urge. But soon it's semester break, maybe then I can find motivation to see a doctor because of some stuff I experience and maybe the fix for that stuff also fixes other problems connected to autoerotic activity.
     
  10. Destranix

    Destranix Fapstronaut

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    Fapped while watching a movie. I think I could have done without, but I started, so I had to get it to an end.
     
  11. 70hank

    70hank Fapstronaut

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    I have discovered the value of practicing Qigong regularly and especially when hard and aroused....and at home in private I have done a series of Qigong exercise focused on driving energy into my Dan tien area and afelt the energy grow and at the same time saw the erection fade and relax down...
     
  12. Destranix

    Destranix Fapstronaut

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    I thought about not doing autoerotic activity again, what associated such activity and daused an urge to do it, what I then did. After cumming (without fapping) I'm feeling the feeling of abuse again.
     
  13. Destranix

    Destranix Fapstronaut

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    I thought maybe only ignoring specific fetisches might be sufficient. It isn't. Again it felt bad.
     
  14. Destranix

    Destranix Fapstronaut

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    God, it's so depressing. So:
    Cause I new, I'm having problems with my phantasies I thought about what to do if I feel that alluring feeling, that promises something very good and desireable. All options I had were not satisfying. Most satisfying one still was submission.
    I thought maybe I could find a solution in first tapping into the phantasy and then manipulationg it to berak out, but that does not seem to be a solution as I am out of corntrol in that phantasies and letting other persons involved help me would also cause some sort of feeling associated with being dominated.
    I hoped, that the knowledge about me feeling bad later could change my mind. It didn't. Though I was completly aware of what's gonna happen I still fapped. I simply got no chance, this urge is too alluring.

    I then evaluated options, that might require more action that just reinterpretation of phantasies. Actually this does only occure in some phases, so further analysing that phases and avoiding them might still be a solution (thought that's what I'm doing till now without much success). I thought for a short time, that living my phantasies could halp...But I'm quite sure now, that this would only make things worse.

    It's just so...disapointing, that the only way of fixing this issue seems to be some medical intervention. But I might other things through this. And actually the problem is not present all the time, so maybe it's not worth it.
    Other possible solutions would be maybe some fix for an unknown medcinical problem (like maybe my body just going crazy somehow, causing this phases) or some psychological thing (maybe helping me to avoid such phases or help me to be able to coop while being in such phases).

    But that's nothing new. I'm repeting myself. Maybe I should stop reporting all that stuff, it doesn't help much I guess. (Except maybe it might help explaining the problem one day.)
     
  15. mark andrews

    mark andrews Fapstronaut

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    this i very good news... its a sign that you are still working down there or that you're recovering. Horniness is very good but you have to learn to practice self control... learn to stop, clear thoughts, breathe in and out heavily to relax then move on.

    just don't orgasm once it starts as the effect of that orgasm will draw you back further.

    I've experienced it before while walking on my good streaks(21-... days) and you kinda get embarrassed especially if you think people are watching but the steps i gave above usually help.... JUST DONT RELAPSE..... ur on the right path
     
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  16. Destranix

    Destranix Fapstronaut

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    Well, as far I can tell there is not much sexual arousal or muscle tension anymore down there. Seems like it just took some time till my body got used to not fapping regulary and often anymore.
    Though now I got dauily discharge, that's also not that good.
    I think physical arousal is no longer the real problem (though I'm not sure, might be different another time). It's more a mental thing, pulling me into things I don't want.
    Though physical arousal might get a problem after a while, when it's so strong, that it's much annoying and/or distracting, maybe even fogging my mind.
    Well first that's not easy, cause after some time sometimes my body just orgasms at sleep then. (Did not happened that often till now, but two of three times in the last period of retention.)
    Second: How long do I have to do this? Is there any further change after more than 50 days? Or is it simply increasing arousal till a certain point, then saturating, then maybe having a nocturnal emission, throwing back alittle, till it saturates again, and so on?
     
  17. mark andrews

    mark andrews Fapstronaut

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    give it time.... ur healing, and I'll repeat this is a good sign. the body has a special way of recovering and returning back to normal... U'll be back to normal and after a while you'll even be able to manage the horniness better
     
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  18. Destranix

    Destranix Fapstronaut

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    How much time? Would be good to know when or if still further changes are to excpect.
     
  19. Bromance

    Bromance Fapstronaut

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    I hope this helps.
     
    Destranix likes this.
  20. Destranix

    Destranix Fapstronaut

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    I'm not watching videos, sorry dude.
     

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