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Sexual compatibility is a thing?

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by onceaking, Nov 1, 2019.

  1. onceaking

    onceaking Fapstronaut

    Warning a bit sexually explicit
    I don't like being graphic but felt I have choice in discussing the subject.

    Growing up evangelical I was told sexual compatibility wasn't a thing. I remember hearing a sermon about dating and relationships and the preacher saying if you're a man and she's a woman you're both sexually compatible. I've heard Christians say the only people who aren't sexually compatible are selfish people. But researching NoFaps favourite subject (dick sizes) I'm starting to think there is such as being sexually incompatible and it has nothing to do with being selfish. Some like big dicks and some like small. I read online this woman say she could only have an orgasam with a big dick, but another saying the greatest sex she ever had was with a guy who was 4 inches. This convinces me there's sexual partner for everyone but you don't know until you have sex.

    But then of course when you first have sex it mean you're both on trial, and if you're not sexually compatible that means the relationship will end. That seems a harsh to me but maybe it's for the best.

    What do you think?
  2. Suk

    Suk Fapstronaut

    A relationship isn't about just sex....if your with someone just for sex, then he/she will leave you anyway after they are bored of having sex with you or find someone better...if your lucky it'll be mutual(breakup), if your unlucky you'll be cheated.
    MikeyRamirez likes this.
  3. onceaking

    onceaking Fapstronaut

    I agree but sex is apart of a relationship. Would you be cool if a woman said, 'This relationship isn't about sex so we shouldn't have any sex'?
    Get_It likes this.
  4. Suk

    Suk Fapstronaut

    No woman will ever say that i hope....but what i meant was if you keep sex as the prime focus on your relationship, it's most likely going to end.
    There's always going to be someone who will be better than you at what might be your SOs sexual preference, if she leaves you for sex then she never loved you and vice versa.
  5. RavenCrow

    RavenCrow Fapstronaut

    I'm a woman. Any you don't have to head my advice but this just my opinion. The most amazing sex I've had was with a man I had deep love for. Size didn't matter to me. What he did during didnt matter either. He could just touch me or hold me and I would melt. He was my best friend and I loved him long before he grew feelings for me. It's about connection, integrity and valuing the person you are giving yourself to. I was 35 before I was able to let myself go and reach climax with a man.

    No we didn't make it.. I did eventually loose out to a PMO addiction in the end BUT there were wonderful times .. when he was genuine and not in his head ... I had the most.amazing mind blowing relations with him. When he relapsed the connection I longed for was gone but I faught for his recovery to continue because I saw the man he could be. Sadly it faded away because he couldn't get out shame. I still hope he finds his worth.. because he is a wonderful man deep down.

    So proud of you and all men on here trying to better themselves and making it happen for yourselves. You are worthy of love and with nofap you are so much closer to finding a woman who values you and you value her! Compatibility?? Its in the heart.. and when that's there .. then the beautiful love will follow. Sex is a wonderful place that two people become one and that is what I want from a guy. Love making all the time.. true connection and value. Sorry so sappy.. but women love sex too. I enjoy it when I'm not an object and he can see me for me. Men deserve value too.. and when you are you.. it's the most attractive thing in the world.

    Damn this feels like an overshare.. so sorry:/
    Marshall 5, Suk, Drew15 and 1 other person like this.
  6. Suk

    Suk Fapstronaut

    So to add some more insight, I'm 19 and i have PIED....i didn't have any clue something like this existed until a month ago when i didn't get an erection while having sex with the girl i love deeply....i was shocked and scared as this had never happened before while watching porn, I'd always get good boners but now the girl i love is naked infront of me and i don't have anything. The weirdest part here was that I've had boners before even when she touched me so i felt like i should research and found out that i have PIED(porn induced erectile dysfunction). She however thought that something was wrong with her ie she couldn't turn me on which wasn't the case, my brain was fucked up. So this happened again after i have done NoFap for almost a month now and i was really scared now as i didn't want to lose her, i really love her. I was depressed so i thought I'd keep myself busy so i don't end up relapsing(in my head i was thinking what's the point if she's not there)and i couldn't text her as i was too busy....and then she text me this :
    Ik I'm being annoying now.. and I shouldn't Overthink as we both are adults and can be busy or tired or sleeping or even anything else.. but I just wanted you to know that I love you no matter what and I'm always gonna be by your side.. even if it's a repeated seesaw situation..
    So yes I'm proud of having a girl who loves me for the person i am and not just for sex, we aren't "sexually compatible", heck i don't even have a boner but she still loves me...so i hope you got what i tried to mean. It's not about sex it's about what you feel for her and what she feels for you...this promotes growth for both of you and a beautiful relationship!
    RavenCrow likes this.
  7. Sexual compatibility is real. When I was dating my wife and even after we married, she comes almost every time we had sex. That makes a huge difference in the relationship. She's been very loyal to me and takes care of me. She even wiped my ass when I was hospitalized. If that's not love I don't know what is. We've seen couples who just aren't as close as we are. My theory (which I have yet to share with my wife) is that they're just not having great sex. We can talk forever about how love isn't physical, but at the end of the day we're humans. Physical compatibility matters, but we rationalize it with our higher brain functions. It's why ugly people aren't as loveable and why short/weak men get friendzoned.

    A buddy of mine has had a lot of girlfriends. But they never stick around. He's handsome, intelligent, and very sociable. But what I think he lacks is sexual prowess (he's also a shorter fellow like 5'4" so that may be an aspect). Will a woman want to carry a baby with his "weak" genes? Probably not. There's research out there on how female orgasms increase fertility.

    The best kind of sex is babymaking sex while the woman is ovulating. Why? Because it's what we were meant to do.
  8. primaljade

    primaljade Fapstronaut

    Sexual compatibility goes way beyond dick size, I didn't even think about dick size until you mentioned it.

    This message presumes that if someone loves you, that they must love you permanently, otherwise they never did... you could replace "sex" with whatever other thing. I think it's BS.

    Of course not JUST sex, yet all sexual relationships (FB, FWB, GFs, Marriage).... consider sex important. If sex wasn't important, you and your partners would be just fine if you had sex with other people.

    Love and sexual attraction are independent things, and sex is a basic human drive that's powerful. That being said, don't get all wrapped around the axle about PEID. Satisfy girl(s) as desired without your penis, and go talk to a Dr about PEID to get it addressed.
  9. Get_It

    Get_It Fapstronaut

    I feel you. I'm into hairy vaginas. Tired of seeing all these shaved vajayjays.
  10. Suk

    Suk Fapstronaut

    So you can love someone for sometime then unlove them? That's called infatuation not love. I did not say replace sex as it's not possible and why would someone even do it lol. I said the prime focus of a relationship isn't sex.
    I never said sex isn't important, please read carefully and if you don't understand don't assume things. So if love and sexual attraction are independent things then you might have sex with just anyone you get attracted to even if you don't love them? Cheating the girl you love right?. Thank you for your concern and i have planned to go see an urologist.
  11. Clean Willy

    Clean Willy Fapstronaut

    Yeah, I hear you. A shaved pussy is just not natural. A hairy one is such a huge turn on!
  12. ShadyPerson

    ShadyPerson Fapstronaut

    Awww, a vanilla thinking penetration is the only form of sex. :3

    On a more serious note it depends on what you want from the relationship. If being able to have penetrative sex and have both parties reach orgasm, things like dick size, vagina size and vagina sensitivity can be deal breakers. Personally I can relate, because if a woman couldn't enjoy penetration with me, I'd propably get self conscious about my dick size and performance. (I wouldn't propably break up, but it could lead into some serious issues before we could figure things out. If we could figure it out.) But some couples are willing to even have completely sexless relationships and get their sexual need met with other people. Usually these kinds of things can be worked out. When you really love someone and want to spend your life with them from all your heart, your mind tends to start coming up with ways to avoid having to break up with them for something as trivial as the size of your genital.

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