Sexual dysfunction wrapped up in PIED

I've been pretty certain I'm a porn addict and suffering from PIED.

I am 18 days without porn yet struggling to stay in hard mode b/c I keep masturbating.

Saturday this girl I've started dating came over and I couldn't get hard enough to do much of anything. Earlier in the day thinking about the date (no porn) I was rock hard.

I acknowledge 90 days hard mode would do me a world of good.

But I'm thinking that porn isn't my only issue.

If I can get to about a 3 day NoFap streak I get good solid morning or nighttime wood. I think the plumbing works.
I can get hard without porn but I can't with a woman. What's that?
If I can get hard with a woman I don't stay that way very long.
PE is an issue as well.
I'm pretty certain Performance Anxiety is a factor.

First time I had sex I had ED issues (was 17 with only a few porn magazines polluting my brain -- there was no internet back then). I've had long bouts of perfectly fine performance interrupted by occasional ED.

The last 3 years have been PIED dominated. I have had successful penetration once and that was a week ago. In some odd way it was a victory. Two condoms and a lot of patience on both our parts and there was some success. Didn't stay hard long, had an orgasm of sorts as the hardness diminished.

Bottom line is I think the plumbing works but that what is in my head goes beyond just the poison of the porn.

I'm in therapy dealing with depression and relationship issues. He is not an addiction therapist or a sex therapist. He and I are talking about the possibilities of me finding a specialist.

Others deal with a list of issues? Or is what I'm dealing with just PIED and I just need to be patient for longer?