sexual immorality

For Fapstronauts who are disciples of Christ

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  1. nfpexperiment

    nfpexperiment Fapstronaut

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    Hi,

    So if it wasn't for me being a christian, honestly I would be what the bible calls sexual immoral. Never really fully understand why it is wrong if two financially stable, responsible adults decided to have unmarried sex with proper planning and clear communication, to avoid STD, unwanted pregnancy, to prevent distrust and emotional harm etc.
    We pay for entertainment like for example watching a movie, sport event, disney world attractions example roller coaster etc, having a normal massage etc, so why would be paying for a woman who is willing to provide sensual services a problem after clear respectfull negotations without force.
    I know I know it is a sin, so that's why I don't do these stuff, except for PMO, I got to confess, trying to quit this. Maybe it would be easier to quit PMO if I was not single and married and having real sex with my wife.

    Br,
     
  2. Lost Hope

    Lost Hope Fapstronaut

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    I hear you brother, even if we had to pay for P, most of the addicts will gladly pay for it, P is an addiction. Actually we are paying to for P, not directly but we pay the internet connection.
    We can be addicted to anything, some of them are worse than others.

    Unfortunately i can t give an answer on unmarried sex, i m not sure about that, i m looking froward for an answer on that question to.

    Yes, it would be much easier to quit PMO if you had a partner who you can confess, cry, understand you, wiling to help you in your journey on quitting PMO. Unfortunately i am single to, and is hard to quit alone, i tried so many times to quit...
    Since i joined NoFap on this group and asked for help, it got me this far, i never got this far in all my years of PMO, tomorrow i will hit 60 days mark.

    Loneliness is hard when you are on NO PMO, is hard for me to. Every time i tried to quit, so many broken promises to God, i was unable to abstain from PMO more that two weeks.
    I needed a strong reason to quit P ,unfortunately knowing that P is a sin was not enough for me.
    Try and find a reason why you want to quit PMO and commit to fulfill it.

    I will pray for you in quitting this sin!

    PS: Sorry if bad eng or expression.
     
    Last edited: Dec 4, 2021
  3. nfpexperiment

    nfpexperiment Fapstronaut

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    If I was not a christian, I would gladly do a lot of ONS, why not ? If she really wants to and I also, why not ? Just enjoy sex with women, but I know I know it is a sin.
     
  4. Sex can be entertaining, but it is not entertainment. It forms a deep bond between those who engage in it together. It depicts and envisions the mystery of the union between Christ and the Church. It is a sacred thing. Sacred things, by definition, must be limited to certain boundaries or they become common and lose their meaning and power. If we cheapen sex by making it primarily about physical pleasure, we deprive ourselves of a great good. If you do so outside of marriage, you deprive sex within marriage of its significance and turn your wife into just another sexual partner, one of many and in no way special. She becomes to you just another prostitute.

    What is sin? It is anything that stands as a barrier to our connection with God. Thus, anything, even a good thing, can be sin if we let it become the thing we go to instead of God. When we put sex on a pedestal and make it out to be the most important thing in life, we only expose ourselves as immature and lacking in understanding. The only person who says "If I was married and could have sex with my wife then all my lust would go away" is an unmarried person who lacks knowledge. Ask any married person who was sexually broken if this ever worked for them. I can guarantee you will not find a single one. Indeed, bringing sexual brokenness into a marriage makes what should have been good sexual union into something less and worse. And, access to sex in marriage can actually make the fight against PMO even more difficult, as you have no opportunity to simply put all sexual desire to rest; as a married person, you must usually keep that fire banked and ready without letting it rage out of control. This requires more discipline than simply putting the fire out!

    PMO and ONS will make you even more lonely. You are taking an act that should teach you about connecting with another real human being and depriving it of that central feature. By doing so, you invert a good thing and turn it evil, making the act of sex about isolation and aloneness instead of relationship and joy. Deprived of love, sex becomes a truly terrible thing.

    How do I know? Prior to being married, I erred in this area many times. After being married, I remained a regular user of P and MO for many years. This is not a road I want to see anyone else ever go down. Take it from one who was there, you will not be satisfied if you choose to walk that way!
     
  5. timcia

    timcia Fapstronaut

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    God does not make up sins at random. Every sin always leads to destruction. On the other hand, focusing on doing things Jesus' way starts to lead to joy.
    If you do a Google search and ask "Why is premarital sin bad," or better yet, "Why should Christians avoid premarital sex," you will get dozens of reasons. And most of them underestimate the destruction they say will happen.
    I will give you my #1 reason. Jesus has something for everyone "To do." If we are busy sinning we can't do it. And our lives will be meaningless, frustrating and empty.
    So we have to increase our faith. The Bible says that faith cometh by the Word of God. Read and study the Bible. Memorize key verses about getting the lust out. The more we read and pray, the more we understand why God has things exactly the way He has them.

    And the way He has things is good.
     
  6. nfpexperiment

    nfpexperiment Fapstronaut

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    I am just curious, I mean how can this be ? If you have urges, be intimate with your wife instead of PMO, ok, not all wife have high sex drive as the man, that is the problem usually ?
     
  7. Do you think your wife is just a sexual toy, ready to perform whenever you get in the mood? That is not at all how marriage works. PMO is a selfish activity, that places one's own desires first, without regard for anyone else. It is a habit that isolates and disconnects. Just because you get married does not mean you become less selfish or more connected. In fact, marriage can serve to drive PMO into hiding, where it flourishes in the dark. Ask any married man on this forum their experience -- you will find it is almost always the same. Marriage is NOT a cure for PMO, not in the slightest. PMO is a heart problem, not a lack-of-sex problem, and marriage cannot fix the heart.
     
    Myfortress, ndaty, Keli and 2 others like this.
  8. nfpexperiment

    nfpexperiment Fapstronaut

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    Doesn't this mean the problem is because men have higher sex drive than women in general ? I have heard stories that some women do have higher sex drive than some men, but guess it is rare I suppose.
     
  9. Hi, friend, you should re-read what @Tao Jones wrote in post #7. That is the answer to your question. It has nothing to do with levels of sex drive.
     
  10. The problem is not the woman's sex drive compatibility. The problem is the man's self-control.
     
  11. timcia

    timcia Fapstronaut

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    Virtually 100% of men addicted to porn continue after they are married. No one woman can replace 500 porn stars.
    And these stars will heap destruction on anyone who is fooled by them.
     
  12. nfpexperiment

    nfpexperiment Fapstronaut

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    True, porn is a fantasy world, I think only the super rich can afford this by paying hookers, I
    Yes, because intimacy before marriage is a sin, we can only be intimate with one woman in marriage. What if it wasn't as sin to be intimate with lot of woman, well you could pay the women, just like you would pay to go on a roller coaster to enjoy the moment.
     
  13. Sexual addiction is not limited to porn. Something similar can happen in real life with all the same attendant issues. Consent is this world's way of saying "it's okay, it's two consenting adults, we're off the hook if there are any negative consequences." Consent is hardly suitable or sufficient--consent is simply a lie the world tells itself. Prostitutes (what we call "pornstars") have their own brain chemical changes due to their "work." In other words, whether mediated through a screen or not, whether you're a billionaire paying prostitutes or not, everyone's lives get ruined when too many women are involved in a single man's life. For a visible case, check out Hunter Biden--he can have whatever he wants, yet his addictions--including prostitutes--have ruined his life (I'm tempted to make some political comments here but I'll refrain).
     
    Myfortress and timcia like this.
  14. nfpexperiment

    nfpexperiment Fapstronaut

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    Lets be honest, thing is prostitutes are more beautifull and adventurous than most married wifes, heard this complaint from some married man, their wife are boring regarding sex.
     
  15. I'm going to lock this thread at this point. We don't need to hear arguments for prostitution and porn. These are the very things that we stand against, by the very nature of this forum. If you want to deceive yourself, @nfpexperiment , then go elsewhere to do so, but do not try to deceive everyone else here. Lies are the tools of our enemy and the native tongue of his children. We refuse to entertain them, except to replace them with God's truth. You have been given that in the comments on this post already. It is now up to you to choose whether you will listen to the voice of the Spirit and obey his wise and good counsel. My greatest hope and most fervent prayer is that you will humble yourself and do so.
     
  16. CPilot

    CPilot Fapstronaut

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    Those men who say these things are seeking a justification for the immoral behavior of males but frankly my experience doesn't support that. My wife and I married very young. Speaking with complete objectivity, she was always attractive (both in appearance and character). Indeed, she grew even more beautiful as she matured. She enjoyed sex and she never failed to excite me. Despite having such a fantastic wife, I spent years hunting for more and more via PMO. It was not her failing in any way that caused me to sin as I did, it was my failure to seek and employ the means to control my sinful desires. Perversely, insidiously, those desires led me to seek more and more exaggerated female features and scenarios that are unachievable except by artificial means and cinematographic deceptions.

    I admit, I don't have much experience being single and I sympathize with those who don't have a wonderful marriage. However, when I consider that the Son of God, a being who could have anything He desired, humbled Himself to live the life of a human and to succumb to torture for the sake of our souls, I ask why any of us should expect a life without trials and tribulations? If the most perfect being to walk on our planet, who is also the very Son of God, willingly allowed Himself to be treated this way, why would I deserve a life without trials? Clearly, I do not.
     
  17. CPilot

    CPilot Fapstronaut

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    PS I thought a bit more about this and it occurred to me that the example has been repeatedly set among movie stars. A handsome actor marries a female who epitomizes modern society's idea of beauty but only a few years later their marriage disintegrates because one or both them commits adultery.

    Clearly, the animal nature of the body, if left unchecked, will lead us to sin. It is a folly to dream that we might find a spouse who possesses so much outward beauty that we would never be tempted to sin again. The undisciplined human mind will always seek something more. It is only when we channel our physical temptations towards goals that glorify God and the cleansing of our souls that we find peace and freedom from sin.
     
    Last edited: Dec 10, 2021
  18. The problem is that porn feeds an unhealthy and unattainable expectation when real women are involved. A real relationship with a woman is completely different. If you find a woman who will have sex with you all of the time and is "adventurous" you are almost certainly with the wrong kind of woman. They have been adventurous with many others and will be with more after you. I know, I have been with many such women. When it was over they left me in worse shape than before and still thinking that women were there to do whatever I wanted whenever I wanted. It was only much later that I learned what was really important, Jesus first, everything else flows from that relationship. Once you get your relationship with Christ right he can help you find a woman who shares your core values, goals, is emotionally stable, and will be faithful. As a recovering addict you need to work on yourself and the relationship with Christ. Focus on staying pure and seeking Christ.
     
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