Sexual imprinting through porn

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by Ozo, Sep 23, 2020.

  1. Ozo

    Ozo Fapstronaut

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    I am currently faced with the question of how to get rid of my sexual identity that I have acquired through crass porn. I have sexually degraded the sexual orientation and being dominated which arouses me. At the same time reserved and shy with women. The problem has to be solved, but I'm already so shaped at 30 years of age. I don't know where to get help that is in my interest. Standard psychiatrists and psychotherapists then simply say yes is gay. But I do not think this answer is correct
     
    {Ananta}, henryhill and learning like this.
  2. learning

    learning Fapstronaut

    I hope you can succeed if that is what you want. The psychotherapists I have used do not seem to appreciate that the problems of PMO go beyond an unhealthy puritanical aversion to masturbation and porn. I suppose you need to find one of those rare psychotherapists who understands your issues. Maybe an online therapist? ... I wish I had better advice to offer.
     
    henryhill likes this.
  3. henryhill

    henryhill Fapstronaut

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    Taling he time to find the right therapist would probably help, remembering that all therapists have their own bias and beliefs. So that might take time.

    I’ve found that avoiding labels helps a lot. I am who I am and I don’t need a label to define me.

    Also try filling your life with good things. I find that pmo is something I use to fill needs in my life (mostly boredom and stress). But there are other things that can fill that.

    Personally I have found that the porn I like is not connected to the sex I have with my wife. They are two different things. You may or may not be in a relationship but don’t let your thoughts of what porn you look at make you think you are a certain way outside of that.

    Keep coming back to the forum you may find help here. Guaranteed someone here has experienced something similar to you.
     
    learning likes this.
  4. Ozo

    Ozo Fapstronaut

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    I am sure that this is the cause of all my social problems. I quasi sexualize that I'm small and wereless. And that as an adult man of 30 years.
     
  5. SoaringEagle

    SoaringEagle Fapstronaut

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    Unfortunately psychiatry has been long corrupted, the recent DSMs are heavily manipulated for political agendas so it will be a challenge to find the right therapists.
    http://chemtrailsgeelong.com/psyfraud.html A long article but if you are interested you can learn more here.

    You can try to see if there is an online community that can help. Other than that I heavily encourage you to continue your no PMO journey, it will really help you heal. Sometimes all you need is for nature to take its course, and if you ever relapse try not to escalate and even if possible try to deescalate into softer genres as much as possible. But please always remember that your addictions are hard wired through long years, so it's always easier to escalate and harder to deescalate.

    Issues like this in reality are quite complicated, people are usually addicted because they have issues and not the other way round. Sometimes there are even suppressed memories. Problems with the father figure etc.. Earlier in psychology these things would be admitted but recently all this have been accepted for a whole variety of reasons that would take a long time to explain.

    This is your journey, and only you can make a difference and you can make it!
     
  6. Ozo

    Ozo Fapstronaut

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    The biggest problem I have when I stay abstinence and make myself aware of what I was looking at are the guilt feelings that arise. I feel horrible when I work through that, and then relapse again so that I feel better
     
  7. ruso

    ruso Fapstronaut

    Hey Ozo, this is normal, and part of the human experience. When we reflect too much on our past self or on a destructive past activity, we give these thoughts way too much power. Once that occurs we become consumed with the “what if?” Of doing the activity again, and that’s when we repeat the activity, to make ourselves feel like we need to embark again on the quest to break the cycle and fix the problem.

    Here’s some advice to get you on not overthinking and getting better at not relapsing:

    1. Don’t beat yourself up about it. You did what you did, now you are on a different and better path. The past is the past, let it stay there.

    2. We humans always end up reflecting on our negative past, so the trick is to do it after a month or 2 of solid progress and for a set time - an hour, a time block, a day. That way you can also reflect on the positive recent past of your accomplishments and reinforce #1.

    3. Focus on other goals. You pick - Fitness, programming, being more organized, gardening, whatever you want. Treat these new goals, with the same care and attention as you are doing with no PMO.
     
  8. {Ananta}

    {Ananta} Fapstronaut

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    My Journal
    a actual sex therapist use to be on this site i forgot his name but he highly recommended this site,and encouraged to stick to nofap no matter what
     
  9. Little Prince

    Little Prince Fapstronaut

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    Don't worry about it too much. In the end it doesn't really matter. Also, try to not watch porn anymore, ever. If you really need to relapse just masturbate without porn.
    Porn is the issue and you need clarity which you can only gain by not watching porn.
    If it turns out you were straight all along, whatever. Women experiment and no one cares.
     
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  10. Ozo

    Ozo Fapstronaut

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    At the moment I am absolutely over the moon and have also changed my diet. When dealing with inner conflicts, I can really say that inside I desire women I finally feel it :). And being gay again. Unfortunately I feel a bit isolated at the moment because I started conflicts with (friends). By and large, it is developing as it should be, but the emontional difference between how the world was before and now is just extreme. So I'm very ashamed of myself.
     
  11. Ozo

    Ozo Fapstronaut

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    How do you deal with all the guilt of wrong porn use, gay boy porn
     
  12. Little Prince

    Little Prince Fapstronaut

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    It might have something to do with not valuing anyone's opinion about me. No one knows me well enough. Whenever I tried opening up, people either didn't believe me, thought what I'm going through is simple, not even an issue, or plainly didn't understand any of it. Am I suppose to feel bad because of them? I can't even imagine why.
    Maybe you are closer to people though so this doesn't really help.
     
  13. Little Prince

    Little Prince Fapstronaut

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    I remembered something else that I've been doing for a long time. There are things from my past I don't tell anyone because the more they know about them the less they know me. I have changed a lot so there's no reason for anyone to know how I used to be. I don't see this as hiding my past because I am no longer that person and none of those things are horrible for it to be justified for someone to actually know them.
     
  14. Ozo

    Ozo Fapstronaut

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    For example today. Had I seen someone on the street who looked like the one in porn that I had watched. Immediately sexualized accordingly. I was embarrassed. Perhaps he saw that I was looking at him. horror And it's kind of porn that I hate but addicting.This is also largely my problem that when I get to know women etc I have porn shit in my head and feel bad because of it
     
    Last edited: Oct 5, 2020
  15. Ozo

    Ozo Fapstronaut

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    Especially when I try to approach women with the intention of addressing them, I have extreme inferiority complexes. And the pressure is mounting to relax with deeper shit. This also increases the inferiority complexes towards women. A vicious circle.
     

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