Sexual Orientation Conflicts

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by Abdoh Ash, Apr 23, 2019.

Do you think I am gay?

  1. Yes

    14.3%
  2. No

    78.6%
  3. 50% : 50%

    7.1%
Multiple votes are allowed.
  1. Abdoh Ash

    Abdoh Ash New Fapstronaut

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    Hey, everyone, I'm a 17 year old, Im still a virgin guy, I never had sex but I had some sexual experience with males (masturbation, touches) I watched lots of porn (especially gay porn), I've been masturbating for 3 years and I am craving an actual real sex, I feel bad, this is not who I am, sex can't be my everything, that's why I'm here seeking help, I have sexual attractions to males, I don't wanna love a man, I don't wanna be in a relationship with a man, all I want is to be submissive and be fucked anally, that's a shameful side of my sexual life, I was addicted to anal masturbation too plus gay porn, I recently decided to stop and change because I'm a real man, I'm not a bitch, so I stopped watching gay porn for over a month, I stopped putting stuff into my ass, I'm 100% attracted to females emotionally, I'm somewhat attracted to them sexually, I can be considered bisexual but I still wanna do more. I still masturbate and mostly to straight sex now and female nudes, I like females and they intrigue me but my homosexual past still haunts me, I was sexually harassed by older guys when I was a kid, I changed, I'm no longer a guy with feminine personality, I'm a leader, a controller and I am learning how to be dominant, how to be more masculine because I look slim and my body doesn't look completely masculine, what is annoying me is the gay thoughts, I don't need anything from a man, I was just addicted to gay sex from porn right? I don't know but homosexual fantasies come from time to time and annoy me in my dreams and I really hate it, I can never accept myself being gay, it has nothing to do with homosexuality being good or bad, I am just not created to be gay, I need some help to heal and to get into healthy relationships with girls, I really want to have sex with girls but I'm just afraid It may not work out, I'm still a virgin, young, lonely and afraid of the future.

    Any help from you guys would be truly appreciated.
     
    Last edited: May 6, 2019
  2. QuietKarma

    QuietKarma Fapstronaut

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    Look if some guy grabbed my dick and jerked me off I would probably also enjoy it. But like you said. Im emotionally attracted to women. I want to marry and have children with a woman. Maybe I would enjoy having sex with a man. Who knows? More importantly, who the fuck cares? I'm focusing on women and living my life as a straight male. The more you worry about 'gay urges' the bigger they will get.

    Maybe a small part of me is attracted to men? Maybe. Who knows. It's normal, it doesn't matter, many people are like that. I'm not going to explore it, think about it, or worry about it. If I do any of those things the problem will just get worse. The more those neuronal pathways about 'men' and 'sex' are fired together the more they will connect (google brain plasticity). Im mostly attracted to women. So that's what i'll go with, the rest doesn't matter.
     
    Abdoh Ash and Spot618 like this.
  3. PercyJia

    PercyJia New Fapstronaut

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    You are not alone buddy.
    Like some people said in another post, our body learns to ejaculate over time as we discover the "sexuality". The only purpose the body wants is to ejaculate more times (its purpose aligns with having more breeds in heterosexual sex), but in what way you teach your body to experience sex is up to you. I guess, unfortunately, you taught your body to ejaculate to male body, however the body thought it had accomplished the job of spreading your seed, and it is happy and craves more.
    Some advice: 1. stop watching any porn, they are highly addictive. 2. don't or stop exploring your body for more intense sexual feeling in climax (what you did with anal masturbation is an example) 3. be confindent in your male status 4. fix pychological problems that might have led you to gayness 5. pray, one day you will have a feeling for girls before life ends. 6. another thing I find interesting is emotional bonding in a relationship brings sexual urge even if you are asexual.
     
    Last edited: Aug 27, 2019
  4. happy08

    happy08 Fapstronaut

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    The only advice I can give you is to not live your life in a lie.

    If you are sexually attracted to girls and you want to live your life as straight - then focus on that. Let your attractions for men be there and enjoy them if you have the opportunity. It’s part of who you are.

    But, if you’re truly just into guys - the worst thing you could do is to force yourself being someone you’re not.
    If you want your body to be in hands of another guy, embrace it and all benefits that also comes from a samesex relationship.

    It’s 2019, choose how you want to live your life, and be proud of who you are.
     
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  5. Headspace

    Headspace Fapstronaut

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    In general, I second what @swe87 said.

    In your specific case, I don't think you are actually gay, as you show what I consider the standard symptoms of "HOCD", or whatever you want to call it:

    1. Craving sex with men - mostly, or only, sex.
    2. Holistically being attracted to women.

    You also try to cope with it in a popular way: Testing your sexuality by trying out different kinds of porn.
    First of all: quit the porn, forget the porn. What you need is reality.

    I overcame HOCD when I decided I only want sex with actual love and emotional attachment. That way, all kinds of random fantasies just ceased to be an issue for me. They are still there sometimes, but they don't matter anymore.
     
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